colliejoanie Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I met a seemingly wonderful guy online. He's physically exactly my type. Tall, dark, big muscles, and handsome.......except>>> is he selfish??? He has yet to meet my daughter, but when I mention her he skirts around the issue......he never asks about her. We've only been on two dates (without her of course) but we've talked on the phone and texted every second of every day for two weeks. We've talked about continuing the relationship...... With him not asking about her or anything, it's starting to feel like my ex....her dad. He never took an interest in her.......It was all about fun times, great restaurants, and looking good........this guy has no kids, and I know that's the way it is for people with no children....... I'm just trying to make sure I'm not projecting my hatred toward her selfish, irresponsible father toward a good guy that just doesn't know the importance (and life changing difference) of having children> Is it too soon to tell if he's being selfish????? Or just cautious????
brainygirl Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I think its a bit soon for you to be asking him to take an interest in your child. He should be fully sure about YOU before you bring the kiddo into the relationship. I think for one you are projecting and for two, you need to separate dating from parenting.
Author colliejoanie Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Nice.......Thanks. I like it!!!! I need to slow my roll a little! HAHA!!!
Author colliejoanie Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 But, just to clarify.....I haven't asked him to do ANYTHING in regards to my daughter.....I'm just wondering if it's normal that he hasn't shown an interest......
brainygirl Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 very normal. He's dating YOU. Not your child.
Author colliejoanie Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 No. Average Joe, I'm not looking for an insta-dad. I'm a single mom who has never dated. i don't know what to look for, what to expect, ect....which is why I'm on this site. It makes me so mad to see people like you who undermine good intentions and try to make fun of people. I don't want an insta-dad. I want to know from people with experience in this matter, if I'm going about dating the right way.
florence of suburbia Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Some single moms never introduce their dates to the kids, unless there is talk of marriage. It is too hard on the children to have a bunch of men parade in and out of the picture, especially if they make an emotional connection over a few weeks and then one day because things don't work out, the guy is gone.
make me believe Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Woah... in my opinion you shouldn't introduce your daughter to anybody you're dating unless the relationship is VERY serious, with the possibility of marriage. Otherwise what happens if she gets attached to the guy and a couple months later you decide it's not working out? You can't bring random guys in & out of her life like that. I don't find it worrying that he hasn't shown an interest in her. You've only been on two dates! He is trying to get to know you, and probably doesn't want to get too involved with that aspect of your life when he doesn't know if this is going to go anywhere or not.
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