PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Background: I met a Marine New Year’s Eve 2004 when he was separated from his wife. It was a great night. Alas, he went home as did I. We exchanged numbers and phoned frequently. Shortly after the New Year he reconciled with his wife after the birth of his youngest son. Our contact ceased for a year or so. Having many friends in common, he managed to find me and we began having contact once again in late 2005 before his deployment to Iraq. There has never been a sexual relationship but more of a friendship that has grown into more over the years. I always respected his marriage and his family. In the mean time I went my own way and had my own relationships. Recently, he began his divorce process and we are now in contact again. There has always been extreme sexual chemistry and a real connection that has never been broken over the years. He has been very unhappy in his marriage for years and has stayed in it for his children. I have been out of my relationship 6 months and will be out over a year when he gets home. Currently, he is on deployment and we have plans to reconnect when he returns but I wonder after all this time will it work? All advice is welcome. We do both admittedly care for each other and have never lost contact in almost 7 years.
skydiveaddict Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 There's no way to to know, from my experience. Last time I got home, my gf wouldn't contact me at all. Do you ever get the chance to contact him?
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Yes we can email and do so weekly. He just got over there and I don't have a snail mail addy for him yet but will write that way when I get it, always have in addition to email. Iraq was more lax in that he had Yahoo! So far, I have not heard from him in over a week and half but I think this is the settling in period.
skydiveaddict Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 (edited) Is he in Afghanistan? (Perhaps you don't know). When I was there it was very hard to contact anyone back home.Email or otherwise. (But I was way out in the sticks) Edited September 30, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 He is in Afghanistan, infantry but an officer so exact location I have no idea and couldn't say if I did I figure it is hard to get out to online.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 After 7 years of friendship I am not really worried about him lying to me about being divorced. If he was looking to get laid and lie to me it would have happened 6 years and 29 days ago. Men don't put that much time into nothing.
skydiveaddict Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 He is in Afghanistan, infantry but an officer so exact location I have no idea and couldn't say if I did I figure it is hard to get out to online. Yes, I know what you mean. We were never allowed to say where we were either (as if we knew anyway). We just got on a chopper and got dropped off. I bet since your bf is an officer he will have better access to email than the rest of us did.
joeLove Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Just out of curiosity, are you kinda "waiting for him" or are you also open to meeting other people at this time? You might be a very patient person ...
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Just out of curiosity, are you kinda "waiting for him" or are you also open to meeting other people at this time? You might be a very patient person ... Well...that's a loaded question.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 subscribed And what exactly are you subscribing to? Should I even ask?
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Yes, I know what you mean. We were never allowed to say where we were either (as if we knew anyway). We just got on a chopper and got dropped off. I bet since your bf is an officer he will have better access to email than the rest of us did. Yeah from how it looks on TV I don't see too many road signs God I hope he gets email soon!
yah Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 2 strikes against you: 1) His recent divorce and 2) Deployment. I say wait till he gets home. And then wait some more. My ex-fiance was deployed to Afghanistan. We remained very close, had contact daily and we both thought things were going very well. We planned to get married soon after he came back. Unfortunately, war does really weird things to people. He came back a changed man and the relationship was hell. (I think it was mild PTSD but he was in denial.) We broke up soon after.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 2 strikes against you: 1) His recent divorce and 2) Deployment. I say wait till he gets home. And then wait some more. My ex-fiance was deployed to Afghanistan. We remained very close, had contact daily and we both thought things were going very well. We planned to get married soon after he came back. Unfortunately, war does really weird things to people. He came back a changed man and the relationship was hell. (I think it was mild PTSD but he was in denial.) We broke up soon after. Was this his first deployment?
skydiveaddict Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 (edited) Unfortunately, war does really weird things to people. Certainly true I must admit I came home a total mess Edited September 30, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Certainly true I must admit I came home a total mess Yeah I expect to have to give him time alone when he gets back. This is the 3rd deployment I have been through with him as a friend or now as a gf. It's to be expected, at least I know what to expect in a way.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 He's not divorced yet, is he? And, who said anything about getting laid. He's married! And you're already planning your future with him???? Ditch the cheat and find yourself an available man. Don't believe me? I just looked at another thread where one lady is talking about catching her bf cheating after EIGHT YEARS of stringing her along and another lady on the same thread had something similar happen to her. Don't you let it happen to YOU. We are just finding our way back to each other not planning a future. Where in there did you read anything about planning a future? He is a few thousand miles away right now anyway and will be divorced when he gets back.
yah Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Was this his first deployment? First to a war zone, yes. He wasn't in direct combat but played a huge role in one mission that was a very high-profile case. At the time he didn't believe it could affect him and it didn't until soon after he came back. I've never had any experience with war, I'm just telling you what I'd do if I were in your shoes having gone through the experience I did as an "army girlfriend."
skydiveaddict Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Sigh. I guess it's too late, you've already decided to be "the other woman." Hope you're not looking back in eight or ten years regretting how you wasted the best years of your life on this doush. I gathered that he was already divorced.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Sigh. I guess it's too late, you've already decided to be "the other woman." Hope you're not looking back in eight or ten years regretting how you wasted the best years of your life on this doush. If I wanted to be the "other woman" I would have been for the last 6 years.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 I gathered that he was already divorced. In a month or two he will be.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 subscribed Thorgasaurus you are being VERY, VERY quiet.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Um, you have been, you've been in an emotional relationship with a married man for a large part of this time. It's called an "emotional affair" and many consider it every bit as damaging as a physical affair. You've already referred to yourself as his "gf" so please don't pretend you're not deeply emotionally involved. That didn't start yesterday or last week. It's been six years in the making. Remember honey as Dr. Phil says: "If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you." It's one thing to have a fantasy relationship with an unavailable man, quite another to actually have to live with a guy who would do this to his own wife and family. The worst part about it is, had he not been emotionally involved with you, maybe he could have put a little more effort into reconciling with his family during this time period. You must be quite young. Well before you start accusing people of ruining people's families and keeping them from reconciling, you should get your facts straight and you don't have them, so Dr. Phil you aren't "Honey." That marriage was broken when I met him years ago. I have been in my own relationship for 3 years having nothing to do with his marriage ending. And it was her little fling on the side that ended it, not our friendship. You sound really bitter maybe Dr. Phil can help you "Honey." And no I am not young, are you dumb? Seems those are not relevant questions.
Star Gazer Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 When you met him, he was separated, and went back to his wife. Now he's "begun divorce proceedings" (whatever that means), and he's deployed. He's lonely. Wait until he's officially divorced AND he's returned before you even think about dating him. In essence, wait until he's available.
Author PixieStix Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 I love it when people make more out of something than it really is
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