korin Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 All righty. It has been almost a year with the most amazing guy I could imagine. Nothing could be better. The only time we've really fought is when an ex of mine wanted to befriend me. However, I now find out he is asking two girls (I only know of these two) to text or call him more, that he "misses them". Neither girl really replied, so it never went further. However, he has told me, that he HATES talking on the phone, and really doesn't care to text. He prefers to IM. Zhould I be upset orrrr? NOTE: He madeout with one girl at a party, and the other, from what I've gathered a serious online relationship well before we got together.
TaraMaiden Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 This sounds like a really solid relationship with good communication, plenty of trust and oodles of respect, both for yourselves and each other.... Do you trust him? Do you completely respect him? And how's the open and constructive communication going? That good, huh? If you BOTH want this to work - get counselling and tell him to stop playing the wide boy....
Author korin Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 I totally trust him. That's not my problem, it just raised huge red flags because I have never been in a relationship other than this one where I've not been cheated on. I by no means mind if he chats with them, or anything. It just seems t=odd to me that he'd want to call her, but not me. We talk about virtually everything and anything, he just never speaks up much about his chat friends, whereas I always tell him about who I'm talking with, etc.
TaraMaiden Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I totally trust him. That's not my problem, it just raised huge red flags Then you don't 'totally trust him'. Which BtW, is understandable... because I have never been in a relationship other than this one where I've not been cheated on. Do you think you're following a pattern here? What kind of guys *bink* your radar, exactly? I by no means mind if he chats with them, or anything. It just seems t=odd to me that he'd want to call her, but not me. good question. What did he come back with? We talk about virtually everything and anything, he just never speaks up much about his chat friends, whereas I always tell him about who I'm talking with, etc. sounds like you believe in openness, but he's a little more cautious with his cards.... Are you wondering what he's got to hide, exactly? I would be.... Funnily enough, my partner plays Mafia Wars games, and has made a lot of contacts. He tells me about all of them, and what they say, and he's blocked/deleted several women with.... "ulterior motives".... He would just never compromise himself, or do anything that would lead me to wonder what he is playing at. As it is, I only wonder what they're playing at.... I get the impression your BF is just a little bit secretive. But I could be wrong. However, openness in a relationship means no secrets. At least, not of this kind....
Author korin Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 He is not as open as me, with his friends or anyone in general. Well, he is nothing like the guys I typically dated. I usually went for "hipster" guys, or generally the guys everyone wanted. He is more of a reserved geek, except for, it seems online. I'm waiting for him to come home in a little while, so we haven't talked yet. I noticed it when I logged onto the computer to go see my social networking things, but he had left his logged in. ((Which is why I trust he hasn't done anything - he wouldn't just leave his cell and laptop around if he was hiding it))
Author korin Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Ok, thank you for your earlier help! We had a good sit down and discussed the issue. it is now resolved - turns out apparently one girl has been having health issues and will have to get a heart surgery performed, and he needed to ask the other a question about his camera.
TaraMaiden Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Communication is under-rated. Well done..... Now I can sleep at night, my work here is done! :laugh:
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