drewdude Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Hello all. I have been currently seeing(non exclusive, we agreed to take things slow) this girl since late june. Well from that time till about mid august, when we would be able to hang out(back then we wouldnt be able to hang out much as now) we would mess around, make out, pretty much be very physical with each other and she would text me lots. I noticed though, since the end of august till now. Much of that isn't there...we HAVE been able to hang out more(it was really hard for us to this past summer). But there has been no makeout/messing around since mid august. She is currently having problems with her mom, started about 3 weeks ago (long story but her mom might not be all there in the head, and crossed the line really bad and might have multiple personalities, shes been saying she wants to move out and not be home as much because of her mom) She does still call me to hang out, invite me over for a movie, we go out to lunch and still somewhat flirts. Only that now, the only physical going on between us is hugging and her kissing me on the lips/cheek when I go home. I also noticed she doesn't text me as much or IM me like she use to. Is this because since were able to see eachother more the cause of this? or am I going in the 'friend zone'? or because her current situation with her mom? I'm starting to feel confused. I am thinking of talking to her about it (we both agreed to communicate problems out since june, but I dont want to make her feel awkward or me being needy/demanding). Any help would be greatly appreciated
Don Ho Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 You're in the friend zone regardless of the "reason". I would back way, way off, not contact her and do not re-contact to quickly if she contacts you. See what she does.
Hopeful30 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 She was never that interested to begin with. If a girl really likes a guy, you would be exclusive. If she decides to make it non exclusive, its either she doesn't like you like that, or she genuinely feels she needs to be alone. I wouldn't get my hopes up.
LoveAintEverything Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I think she is just frustrated with her mom
Don Ho Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I think she is just frustrated with her mom Are you kidding? Even if it were true, so what? It doesn't change the fact that she's not that into him.
make me believe Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 It's been 3 months since you two decided to "take things slow"..... how slowly were you planning on taking it?! I think you wasted about 2 months too long on this girl. I agree with Hopeful - if she had been truly interested in you in the first place, she never would have wanted to take things slow. I would NEVER risk losing a guy that I truly liked by suggesting we go slowly. She does still call me to hang out, invite me over for a movie, we go out to lunch and still somewhat flirts. Only that now, the only physical going on between us is hugging and her kissing me on the lips/cheek when I go home. I also noticed she doesn't text me as much or IM me like she use to. Is this because since were able to see eachother more the cause of this? or am I going in the 'friend zone'? or because her current situation with her mom? I dont think this has anything to do with her mom. That makes no sense whatsoever. If I lived with someone who stressed me out, I would be wanting to get out of the house & relieve that stress as much as possible! And it's ALWAYS a bad sign when the physical stuff starts dwindling, especially after only 3 months. Girls don't stop making out with boys that they really like..
Tripp1 Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Hey man, Here is what I think. First of all, you have to remember that girls are very emotional people. Guys are too, but girls are much more. A generalization? Sure, but every girl I know has admitted this to me. Point being...as you can see a lot of sh*t is going on with her family right now and she is probably in a very weird head space. This is probably causing her brain to run wild and question a lot of things in her life. One of them being you. So don't expect a lot of things to make sense to you at the moment. Another possible thing that has been happening is the lack of physical effort on your part. Have you been adapting to her every move? It's possible the high physical activity has stopped because you saw things getting weird and you kind of stopped yourself. Have you tried just taking her in the middle of hanging out with her and just made out? It may sound weird, but it's not, it's passion. I would try doing that and she how she reacts, see if this is weird for her. If it is, then obviously something is wrong and you guys need to have a talk. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS TO HER. Sometimes we think, as guys, that this is being needy, but it's not (depending on how you approach the situation). My advice is to tell her how you feel but also make her understand that you know what she is going through at the moment. Remember, that it's not just all about you, it's about BOTH OF YOU. Both people in a relationship need to be getting what they need out of it or it's not going to work. If you feel that you are in the friend zone, then you should bring this up ASAP, before it gets worse. Tell her that you see her more than a friend and you want to know how she feels. My guess is she will have something to say. Find out, but do it with maturity and be sensitive to what she is going through. If you are friend zoned, then my next advice is to move on. Definitely try and stay friends with her, especially since she is going through a rough time, but start dating other girls who want to be with you in a more intimate form. Hope that helps man, I've been in similar situations, many times. Let me know how things go! Tripp
Don Ho Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 DO NOT BE AFRAID TO COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS TO HER. Sometimes we think, as guys, that this is being needy, but it's not (depending on how you approach the situation). My advice is to tell her how you feel Nahhhh. No point in doing that, you're already done Bro. You're going to look like a fool and a pussy. You're not in a relationship. Cut your loses.
Tripp1 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Nahhhh. No point in doing that, you're already done Bro. You're going to look like a fool and a pussy. You're not in a relationship. Cut your loses. Yes but he still needs to see how she feels. If he just walks away, he is always going to be wondering what happened, what went wrong, and why things ended the way they did. It can be very therapeutic to get closure.
Don Ho Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Yes but he still needs to see how she feels. If he just walks away, he is always going to be wondering what happened, what went wrong, and why things ended the way they did. It can be very therapeutic to get closure. I think it's clear how she feels, so there's no point. What's he going to do, profess his undying love for her? It doesn't matter how HE feels, it only matters how SHE feels. If she felt strongly for him she WOULD make that clear; a woman always does. Yada, yada, yada ... "therapeutic"? "get closure"? There's nothing she's going to say that will do either or help him feel better. He can do what ever he wants, but after getting kicked by a horse once, I wouldn't go back to see what it was all about and risk getting kicked again.
sagetalk Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 If the physical stuff is going backwards, then there is probably another guy. Back off and wait, and be thankful you have this place to tell you before you find out on your own. If you really want to know, on the next outing try to do what you did with her when things were great. If she backs off, then you have your answer.
Mike B. Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I think it's clear how she feels, so there's no point. What's he going to do, profess his undying love for her? It doesn't matter how HE feels, it only matters how SHE feels. If she felt strongly for him she WOULD make that clear; a woman always does. Yada, yada, yada ... "therapeutic"? "get closure"? There's nothing she's going to say that will do either or help him feel better. He can do what ever he wants, but after getting kicked by a horse once, I wouldn't go back to see what it was all about and risk getting kicked again. Don Ho, pretty much has it together on this one. Everything he said is pretty much on target. Just move on, man. Don't look back unless she gives you a strong tap on the shoulder.
that girl Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 First, how old are you? I'm getting the feeling you are under 21 but all the answers seem to be assuming you are grown ups. The expectations for a couple of 19 year olds and a couple of 40 year olds are a little diffferent. She might have lost interest or it could be stress from her mom. It is something you have to talk over with her.
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