just and still heartbroken

[unsure24]

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting. It's a long story but I'll try to make it as short as possible. I could really use some advice.

 

I met this guy a year ago and we started dating. Things were amazing. He treated me really well. He made me feel wonderful about myself. And, I loved him. We exchanged "I love you's." And talked about getting married. We even went looking at rings together.

 

5 months into the relationship, everything has changed. We end up breaking up at this point, but we talk about it and get back together about a week later.

 

Things are great for a while. Then it starts to seem like we're just going through the motions and I see him starting to make future plans without me. Like buying a house without consulting me. Taking time off without being concerned whether I would have that time off. And, he's just wasn't as caring anymore.

 

One day, it all builds up and we get into a fight over it. We decide that even tho we still love each other, it's not going to work out. So we break up. After a few days, I'm heartbroken and wondering if it was the right decision. I talk to him, and beg him to take me back. He says no.

 

That was a month ago. We talked and saw each other sporadically. Every time we saw each other, he would hug me, and snuggle with me, and try to kiss me. But that was it.

 

Then, I decide to go no contact, for my own sake. That lasts for a little over a week. He calls me. I'm real short, but polite, with him on the phone. We hang up. Then he sends me a text later that night. It says that he's sorry if he upset me. He was just missing me.

 

After about an hour of staring at the text, I called him. I told him to just please stop contacting me. He sounded like I'd just kicked him in the gut. I feel bad, because I don't want to hurt him either. So, we end up talking for a while, and he ends up coming over to my house. We stay up until three in the morning talking. He lives in a bad neighborhood, so I told him he could stay and go home in the morning. Overnight, we just snuggle. No sex; no kissing. He tells me that he's having a hard time sleeping without me. He misses me every day. He still loves me. But he doesn't know why we just don't work. But then follows it up with, I wish I could spend every night this week with you. We finally get tired enough to go to sleep, and he kisses me on my forehead and says "goodnight beautiful."

 

The next day he texts me to tell me how tired he is. I say me too. And, now I haven't heard anything.

 

What is he doing? Does he still love me and miss me? Or is he just trying to keep his options open by keeping me hanging on? What should I do?

[LoLWut]

is it just me or does this guy sounds like he just want sex?

everytime he looks for you is because he wants something physical kiss/cuddle/sex.

Then after getting what he wanted, he's gone the very next day.

[unsure24]

is it just me or does this guy sounds like he just want sex?

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

I've thought about that too. It just breaks my heart to think that's all it is. And, I'm not so sure that's what it is. Since we haven't even so much as kissed since the day we broke up.

 

Or maybe I just want to believe that he's not that much of a jerk. i don't know.

[Knittress]

You guys need to stop torturing yourselves. You know it won't work, but you keep dragging out the inevitable. I'm sure he does miss you, and he might even love you very much - so what? If you care about each other and have self-respect you'll give each other a wide berth. For at LEAST a year.

[unsure24]

Thanks Knittress. I've tried to not talk to him before. At first it was very difficult and then I would pick up the phone when I knew I shouldn't. Then, I got over that. And, I think when he realized that I wasn't going to call him, he finally called me.

 

so now i'm just gonna work on not answering the phone when he calls or texts.