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I want to have sex with my boyfriend because kissing isn’t pleasurable at all

MissMelodyStar

By MissMelodyStar
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MissMelodyStar New Member

MissMelodyStar

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I don’t know if just that he’s a bad kisser because I feel like I could be kissing anyone and still not enjoy it, yes we’re both alittle new to kissing and I was his first kiss but I’m starting to think kissing is unpleasurable for me, however he says he enjoys it.

 

I love my boyfriend for who he is and find him attractive but it kills me kissing him isn’t that enjoyable enough, I do enjoy it when he kisses my neck because it turns me on but kissing on the lips doesn’t feel as good.

 

I’m not ready for sex but I crave it more so than kissing, like when we are lying on my bed and he’s touching me it feels so good but I wish kissing felt that good too. We’ve tried smooching lightly, opening our mouths, locking lips, kissing slowly, we failed at French kissing and tried pulling on our top or bottom lips but nothing seems to feel like fireworks, it sad because I never thought kissing would be like this for me, I’ve heard of some people not enjoying it but I never thought I was one of them because I always enjoyed kissing my pets and my pillow.

 

So what should I do? I’ve address with him that kissing him isn’t as good as I hoped but he doesn’t know I rather have sex with him, then again I haven’t had sex before so what if that not pleasurable too! And I really like this guy and can see a future with him but I can’t pretend that I enjoy kissing him anymore!

Edited by MissMelodyStar
SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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To be honest, I never was that much into kissing. I have probably kissed over 50 different guys in my life and am now a kissing pro - but it doesn't do much for me.

 

I only felt it was really hot with 2 guys (out of 50) and with them it was a combination of super strong physical chemistry and their great kissing style.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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It's ALL in the kiss. A great kiss says it all... :love: But if the kiss is bad, or even just blah, the sex will be too.

florence of suburbia Established Member

florence of suburbia

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In my opinion it works better if one person takes the lead and it sounds like you and your boyfriend are both very tentative. I like it when the man takes charge during kissing and is a little bit aggressive, but not sloppy.

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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In my opinion it works better if one person takes the lead and it sounds like you and your boyfriend are both very tentative. I like it when the man takes charge during kissing and is a little bit aggressive, but not sloppy.

 

 

Yeah, I love it when men take charge of the kissing and sex.

 

In general, men that are shy/passive in conversation tend to be the same in the bedroom.

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MissMelodyStar New Member

MissMelodyStar

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In my opinion it works better if one person takes the lead and it sounds like you and your boyfriend are both very tentative. I like it when the man takes charge during kissing and is a little bit aggressive, but not sloppy.

 

Well as I said he enjoys it more than me so he does get sloppy and agressive sometimes. I do usually inititate the kissing but he the only one really enjoying it.

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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Uh, sloppy is the worst. It's like kissing a dog. :sick:

 

That's probably my number 1 complaint with guy's kissing style.

make me believe Established Member

make me believe

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It's ALL in the kiss. A great kiss says it all... :love: But if the kiss is bad, or even just blah, the sex will be too.

 

I agree 100%!!! I've never had disappointing sex with a guy who gave great kisses.... ;) And frankly, if the kisses aren't doing it for me, I KNOW the sex isn't going to do it because it usually means the chemistry just isn't there. Ahhh but once in awhile a guy comes along who you can just kiss for HOURS... :love::o

 

MissMelody, do NOT have sex with your BF hoping it will improve the physical aspect of your relationship. You sound young and inexperienced, so maybe your nerves are just getting the best of you. I know that when I was young I couldn't lose myself in kissing the way I do now because I was always so concerned with my technique, if I was doing it right, if he was enjoying it, etc etc. Give it more time, relax, and just try to enjoy what's happening. Don't overthink it, and try to have fun!

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Uh, sloppy is the worst. It's like kissing a dog. :sick:

 

That's probably my number 1 complaint with guy's kissing style.

 

I actually prefer sloppy over the dry, open mouth with no tongue at all, like a guppy fish. Or the darting tongue, like a snake. Or the limp tongue that just finds it's way into your mouth and lays there...:sick: I could go on and on...

 

But a good kiss... oh man... :love:

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Ahhh but once in awhile a guy comes along who you can just kiss for HOURS... :love::o

 

Nothing better than that, really... :love:

Feelin Frisky Established Member

Feelin Frisky

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Oh geez, there's nothing like kissing. Nothing. The only things that can go wrong IMO are timing being off between people or oral hygeine is bad. If that is not a problem it should be the joint. Maybe I've been lucky--I wouldn't trade in any experience I've had. Kiss me my fool.

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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Nothing better than that, really... :love:

 

Yep, I have been there too :love:

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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I actually prefer sloppy over the dry, open mouth with no tongue at all, like a guppy fish. Or the darting tongue, like a snake. Or the limp tongue that just finds it's way into your mouth and lays there...:sick: I could go on and on...

 

But a good kiss... oh man... :love:

 

Lol, it's really subjective. I don't mind open mouth - no tongue kisses (not dry ones though) but just kind of sensual involving lips only.

 

I agree on the darting tongue - hate it :sick:

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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Also, you can tell when a guy is not that experienced in kissing - you feel his teeth a lot.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Also, you can tell when a guy is not that experienced in kissing - you feel his teeth a lot.

 

But a nibble here and there... hawt! :love:

 

I haven't had a good kiss in a reeeeeeeeeeally long time. Ex's kisses were so blah. Sigh. :(

jamesum Established Member

jamesum

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I dont enjoy kissing and probably never will.

 

I didnt grow up in a Western country where kissing is normal. In my original country French kissing is considered disgusting. I mean its like you are swapping saliva. YUCK!!!

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I mean its like you are swapping saliva. YUCK!!!

 

I'm assuming you don't engage in sex then either, particularly oral sex??

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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But a nibble here and there... hawt! :love:

 

I haven't had a good kiss in a reeeeeeeeeeally long time. Ex's kisses were so blah. Sigh. :(

 

 

You mean skiman was a bad kisser? :D

make me believe Established Member

make me believe

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Lol, it's really subjective. I don't mind open mouth - no tongue kisses (not dry ones though) but just kind of sensual involving lips only.

 

GAH! My boyfriend is the king of those kisses :love: :love: :love: I once tried to explain to a friend of mine how amazing the "lips only" kisses can be, and she totally didn't get it. She thinks they don't count as "real" kisses. But I gotta admit, they may be my favorite kind. :o

carhill Established Member

carhill

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OP, given your comparisons to pets and pillows, I'm led to believe that this is your first boyfriend and you don't have much experience kissing men. That's OK :)

 

Experience will teach you that this dynamic is something you *feel* and that, short of horribly repulsive kissing techniques, your kissing sessions will, with the right person, be very sexually and emotionally stimulating and something you will imprint in your mind about your lover/partner.

 

I'd suggest getting more kissing experience, with this boy and with others. No need to rush into sex. Welcome to LS :)

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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You mean skiman was a bad kisser? :D

 

No. Just...blah. There was never any...rawr! It was just...nice. Nice and boring.

 

He was Trey McDougal in more ways than one, if you get my drift.

jamesum Established Member

jamesum

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GAH! My boyfriend is the king of those kisses :love: :love: :love: I once tried to explain to a friend of mine how amazing the "lips only" kisses can be, and she totally didn't get it. She thinks they don't count as "real" kisses. But I gotta admit, they may be my favorite kind. :o

Thats exactly how I kiss. Lips only. More than that I cant enjoy it.

 

I'm assuming you don't engage in sex then either, particularly oral sex??
It took me a while to be comfortable with oral sex. But even now I still cant enjoy it as much as other people. Honestly I dont like getting oral and I give oral only to make the other person happy.
Feelin Frisky Established Member

Feelin Frisky

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Kissing never gets old. I used to have a 1968 Buick Riviera which I restored. It had no console so my girl could sit right up against me. We'd mug it up on every red traffic light. I love splushing into her lipstick. We used to work in the same big office. I'd drop a note on her desk to rendevous with me in the locker room and we'd burst into each other's arms just kissing like nothing else existed. I'd have to go back into the crowded office trying to hide my rigid f--k stick. After work it was up on the plaza near the down town heliport in lower NYC to make out while the sun went down. In the morning she'd get on my train and guess what we did--kiss it up just like it was brand new.

that girl Established Member

that girl

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If you don't like kissing him, I doubt you would like sleeping with him.

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MissMelodyStar New Member

MissMelodyStar

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I agree 100%!!! I've never had disappointing sex with a guy who gave great kisses.... ;) And frankly, if the kisses aren't doing it for me, I KNOW the sex isn't going to do it because it usually means the chemistry just isn't there. Ahhh but once in awhile a guy comes along who you can just kiss for HOURS... :love::o

 

MissMelody, do NOT have sex with your BF hoping it will improve the physical aspect of your relationship. You sound young and inexperienced, so maybe your nerves are just getting the best of you. I know that when I was young I couldn't lose myself in kissing the way I do now because I was always so concerned with my technique, if I was doing it right, if he was enjoying it, etc etc. Give it more time, relax, and just try to enjoy what's happening. Don't overthink it, and try to have fun!

 

You probably have givin me the best advice here, everyone seem to be spaming about what they like in kissing and everything else, Yeah maybe I let the media build up the way kissing should feel and I'm just nervous about it when I'm doing it.

 

Also, you can tell when a guy is not that experienced in kissing - you feel his teeth a lot.

Yeah I agree with this however, I can feel his teeth sometimes.

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