littlebittle Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I have this guy friend, and he's a pretty sarcastic person, but he constantly makes sexual comments to me. He has asked me if I shave, he asks about different stuff I like during sex or things I've done, what I would or wouldn't do, how I feel about penis size, etc. He also always jokes that I want to have sex with other guys. If we're out and we have some attractive waiter or something, he'll be like, "You totally wanna have sex with him, I can tell" (I'm not a slut by any means, he's just teasing me). I sometimes make sex jokes around him, but never make any comments about him or us or ask him personal questions. Is this normal for platonic friends? I get that a lot of people say men and women can't just be friends, but he and I are definitely platonic in the sense that we've never hooked up. We went on a few dates when we first met (like 8 months ago), and he tried to kiss me then but I wasn't interested. Is he just joking or is he hinting that he wants to have sex? I don't mean to sound naive, and I wouldn't be against hooking up at this point. But he never tries to make a move, so all of his sex talk kind of confuses me.
Romance Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 To be honest he just kinda sounds like an ass? Like he's trying to be funny but he is failing miseably. I have met a lot of guys like this, they try Soooooo hard to make sex jokes and ask you personal questions and assume you want to fux every guy you see. he may or may not want to hook up but he sound just like a douche
Author littlebittle Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 To be honest he just kinda sounds like an ass? Like he's trying to be funny but he is failing miseably. I have met a lot of guys like this, they try Soooooo hard to make sex jokes and ask you personal questions and assume you want to fux every guy you see. he may or may not want to hook up but he sound just like a douche No, he's not a douche (although I can see why this description of him would make him sound douchey). I just can't tell if he's joking or not with this stuff.
New Again Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 No it's not, but that's just me. I don't think any good can come from discussing certain things, and/or it's inappropriate to discuss certain things with certain people. On the list are money, religion, politics and sex.
GooseChaser Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I have this guy friend, and he's a pretty sarcastic person, but he constantly makes sexual comments to me. He has asked me if I shave, he asks about different stuff I like during sex or things I've done, what I would or wouldn't do, how I feel about penis size, etc. He also always jokes that I want to have sex with other guys. If we're out and we have some attractive waiter or something, he'll be like, "You totally wanna have sex with him, I can tell" (I'm not a slut by any means, he's just teasing me). I sometimes make sex jokes around him, but never make any comments about him or us or ask him personal questions. Is this normal for platonic friends? I get that a lot of people say men and women can't just be friends, but he and I are definitely platonic in the sense that we've never hooked up. We went on a few dates when we first met (like 8 months ago), and he tried to kiss me then but I wasn't interested. Is he just joking or is he hinting that he wants to have sex? I don't mean to sound naive, and I wouldn't be against hooking up at this point. But he never tries to make a move, so all of his sex talk kind of confuses me. He could be hitting on you. If you're interested in starting something with him, let you know you're interested. Give him his green lights so he knows that you are available and open to something. You say you weren't interested in him before, so he may be a bit shy to try again, but is beating around the bush to test if you are receptive to his advances. Try to make things easier for him and let you know for sure that you like him, if that's what you want. If you want to be "just friends", though, try to put a stop to the talk about sex. You need boundaries.
Fire Salamander Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Every 'friend' wants to have sex with you.
Author littlebittle Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 (edited) Every 'friend' wants to have sex with you. You mean every guy friend? I don't have any other guy friends who act this way around me. I should also mention that whenever we hang out, he won't let me pay for anything. I'm not sure if it's because he just thinks that's what men are always supposed to do, or if it's because he knows he makes more money than I do, or what. But we'll go out for dinner, and when the bill comes, I'll put my card down or money down, and he'll just absolutely refuse that I give him money. Last week we went to see this band play together (which I invited him to), and I paid for it before he could say anything. For the rest of the evening he was trying to buy me stuff to pay me back, and he bought dinner. It's obviously really nice of him, but it also sometimes makes me think, "what the heck?" He's also super accommodating whenever we hang out; he's always trying to make me comfortable and make sure I'm happy and stuff. Over the past month and a half we've been hanging out like 3 times a week. But he never ever tries to make a move. And to be honest, we've been friends for so long at this point, it would probably just be really awkward if we did kiss. Is this just like some weird platonic "dating" or what? I mean, is it possible for this guy to be acting this way and really just want to only be friends? I'm just trying not to embarrass anyone by misconstruing anything. Edited September 27, 2010 by littlebittle
Fire Salamander Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Why don't you lay naked in your bed and call every single guy friend over. Are you telling me they'd say I don't want to ruin our friendship? Men want relationships, all of your guy friends want one with you. This one just has the balls to act like a man.
make me believe Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I agree with Romance, he sounds like a total douche. Asking your sexual preferences and if you shave or not? Gross! I would tell him to mind his own f*king business. I don't think he is "joking" about this stuff. I think he is gauging your reaction to see if he has any chance with you. And the more you put up with it by "joking" back to him and not telling him to STFU, the more convinced he becomes that it's only a matter of time before you have sex with him.
SecretSquirrel Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I agree with Romance, he sounds like a total douche. Asking your sexual preferences and if you shave or not? Gross! I would tell him to mind his own f*king business. I don't think he is "joking" about this stuff. I think he is gauging your reaction to see if he has any chance with you. And the more you put up with it by "joking" back to him and not telling him to STFU, the more convinced he becomes that it's only a matter of time before you have sex with him. Sounds about right.
Fire Salamander Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 So you're going to patronize a man for being sexual? If you don't like it then you need to tell him you feel uncomfortable around him. So do you want him to be that friend who never lets his intentions or feelings known? Then just secretly yearn for your affection quietly for years? Quit emasculating the male society. You're saying men are perverted if they mention sex, only if you're not attracted to them.
EasyHeart Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 We went on a few dates when we first met (like 8 months ago), and he tried to kiss me then but I wasn't interested. I should also mention that whenever we hang out, he won't let me pay for anything. I'm not sure if it's because he just thinks that's what men are always supposed to do, or if it's because he knows he makes more money than I do, or what. But we'll go out for dinner, and when the bill comes, I'll put my card down or money down, and he'll just absolutely refuse that I give him money. This is a no-brainer. He wants to bang you. You dated him a few times, but then rejected him and you played the friend-card. He is biding his time, hoping he can wear you down and one day you will realize the mistake you made and admit that he would be the greatest boyfriend in the world. When he asks you if you shave or if you want to sleep with the waiter, it's because he is fantasizing about having sex with you. He pays for your 'dates' because he is trying to show you what a great boyfriend (provider) he would be. It's perfectly normal and men try this gambit all the time (though it rarely works). I'll also agree that he's either a douche or very young. Women don't generally respond well to sexual teasing. Every 'friend' wants to have sex with you.Pretty much. It mostly depends on how pretty you are. Most women with a lot of male friends are either very pretty or very homely. Men can be friends with unattractive women, but if you're halfway decent-looking, then pretty much all of your male 'friends' would like to bang you.
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