dokjai Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Guy #1: We work together, and I'd always tease him a lot. Hey. Have to pass the time somehow, when it's slow. He asks me out but can't decide on where to go. I pick a place. He's nervous while parking, and I just make him feel at ease by giggling and teasing as usual. I pretty much lead the convo. during dinner. Guy #2: He asks me out but doesn't give me an exact time, date or place. I know if I tell him when and where, he'll be game. I understand why he's shy around me, since we've only known each other for a month whereas Guy #1 has known me close to a year. Guy #3: Follows me after class, and I know he wants to talk to me. At this point, I'm just frustrated with shy guys and don't make easy by saying hi first, smiling, etc.... All these guys came into my life at different times. Every guy who has ever liked me has been so shy no matter how much time I give them. I gave guy #1 close to a year to come out of his shell. None of them have ever felt comfortable around me no matter how much I say hi, smile, tease, light up when I see them, etc.... NONE. The only guy who is bold around me is gay . All I want is at least an average looking guy who is witty, comfortable being himself around me, can tease me back when I tease him, has goals, etc.... What am I doing wrong?
Cracker Jack Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 You're not the issue. The guys you've encountered have just been shy so far, that's all. Don't worry about it.
Tiberius Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Are you tall, strong (powerlift/bodybuild) into martial arts or can think of anything else people might consider intimidating ?
Author dokjai Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 It's been going on a for a couple of years now. Like guy #3, I hardly give guys who are shy around me the time of day anymore. Yeah. I do weightlifting and exercise to keep myself in shape. I don't do enough to look like a bodybuilder though. Seriously, I look like the typical 5'4" asian girl with glasses. On the looks scale, I'd say I'm a 6 out of 10. So I'm thinking it may be my mannerisms or something. What kind of girls are guys comfortable being around?
FryFish Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Are you a nerdy girl around naturally shy nerdy guys?
jamesum Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Get to know guys you are attracted to. You cant just expect guys to come to you and whine about not attracting the guys you want. Thats very stupid.
Author dokjai Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 Guy #1 is actually really popular. He looks like the lead singer from Maroon 5. That's what my brother and friends say anyway. He has tons of friends. Guy #2 well, I actually usually see him walking by himself, but I see him talking to people sometimes. He's an English major, and I don't think he's nerdy. I don't think guy #3 is nerdy either. Actually, I doubt a nerdy guy would ever ask me out. I did get to know guys initially until I got tired of them just never feeling comfortable around me regardless of how much time I give them. Define nerdy? I'm focused on my studies, and I'm usually one of the most outgoing girls in my class. I do like anime, mangas, etc... though.
ascendotum Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Hmm hard to say why for sure. Ask your gay mate for an insight. Thinking about the Asian girls at a couple of places where I work they tend to be very reserved and hardly initiate conversations. I watch them talk to a couple of younger single shy guys and if they fancy them I would never know, because they hardly give anything away in their body language. They might smile when talking to these guys but not to an overt degree compared to other staff, so that the guys would think the girl fancied them. For all I know the girls may not be interested in them at all, but just the nature of Asian women (Chinese, Korean) at a couple of companies I work at, they dont give much away in their manner...they tend to be a bit aloof. Guy #2 is a bit of a weird one. When he asked you out, did you actually say yes? I would have thought that if you did that that would be a green light to continue on to arrange an activity. If you like him, why didn't you actually ask him, 'hey what happened to going out with me'! As for Guy #3, well since you dont give shy guys the time of day anymore, he likely picks up on those vibes so balks at asking you out. It seems like shy guys have not really played a big part of your life. Now that you dont bother being friendly to them anymore, they will most likely be even less on issue. Problem solved.
Author dokjai Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Now that you dont bother being friendly to them anymore, they will most likely be even less on issue. Problem solved. Yep. The guys who actually hang out with me now will all be gay. Fantastic.
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