Els Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I initially posted this as part of my thread in the LDR forums, but I realized it's really not related to LDRs at all, hence the reposting. Basically, the bf and I were together in our home country initially, before he left to further his studies in NZ. After 2 years, I moved to be with him. One of the issues I have noticed since moving here, is a disparity of interest. Back when we were together in our home country, we didn't really spend much time doing stuff outdoors. It was a happy medium - he didn't need to be outdoors but enjoyed mall/city life; I absolutely hated being outdoors because of the hot and humid tropical weather, and I liked (air-conditioned) malls as well. We alternated between spending time at home and going for movies/dinners/hanging out at malls, etc. Here, there are no malls, at least not in the hangout sense. The largest 'mall' is really just a few large departmental stores (think Costco, etc) stuck together. Movies are insanely expensive. He has gone into full-time clinical work here, which involves a lot of walking on the job, and so he usually just wants to stay home (my place or his) on weekends. I, on the other hand, discovered that I love being outdoors here. Not to the point where I need to be out camping and doing extreme sports everyday, but when I look outside and see nice weather, I absolutely want to be outside. I love walking, sightseeing, exploring the place. Also, despite having been here for a much shorter time than he, I seem more well-adapted to the cold than he is. On a 10 degrees celcius day I could chuck off my coat and enjoy the fresh air while he'll still be in his with his hands stuffed in his pockets, saying that it's cold. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Sure, I could go out without him on weekends, but those are really the only days in which we get to spend the whole day together. I was considering joining a walking/hiking club, but I honestly don't think I'm fit enough to do so. Kiwis are very fit and active people, so their tramping (Kiwi word for hiking) clubs are pretty hardcore, and I'd never be able to keep up, because I lived an almost completely sedentary life for 23 years. My fitness level is gradually increasing now, but it isn't exactly an overnight process. There are still things that we enjoy doing together - playing games, watching TV, sex, etc. But our interests aren't nearly as aligned as they used to be.
New Again Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Don't underestimate your ability, and join some type of group or club; I think that's a great idea. The only way you will be "fit" enough is to just do it. It might be difficult for you at first, but I think you can handle it
Author Els Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Thanks, but I'm really not sure you understand. For 23 years, I barely left the couch. I couldn't walk a block without getting out of breath. I can walk about 1km now without getting out of breath but that's nothing compared to what they do. I think even their senior citizens can do more than that...
atlnay Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I think you should joining a hiking or walking club in your area and expand your social circle with people of similiar interests. Provided you and you guy are pretty solid, it takes absolutely nothing away from your existing relationship to spend a few hours on an activity you have just discovered you have a passion for. In fact it can benefit the both of you as you have different stories to tell him as you meet more people and get out and about. Your fitness will improve fairly quickly and you two can still enjoy the similar things you have in common. So don't take it as a negative your interests are ebbing, so long as it's not a radical thing and nothing is a dealbreaker, it sounds like you both are changing. I, on the other hand, discovered that I love being outdoors here. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Sure, I could go out without him on weekends, but those are really the only days in which we get to spend the whole day together. I was considering joining a walking/hiking club, but I honestly don't think I'm fit enough to do so. Kiwis are very fit and active people, so their tramping (Kiwi word for hiking) clubs are pretty hardcore, and I'd never be able to keep up, because I lived an almost completely sedentary life for 23 years. My fitness level is gradually increasing now, but it isn't exactly an overnight process. There are still things that we enjoy doing together - playing games, watching TV, sex, etc. But our interests aren't nearly as aligned as they used to be.
atlnay Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Thanks, but I'm really not sure you understand. For 23 years, I barely left the couch. I couldn't walk a block without getting out of breath. I can walk about 1km now without getting out of breath but that's nothing compared to what they do. I think even their senior citizens can do more than that... You just proved that you did get fitter compared to what you USED to be. If you stay consistent, just imagine yourself 6 months from now. Don't compare yourself to other people, even the seniors. Use them as a motivation, but don't feel because they are way ahead of you now, that you can't ever catch them or shouldn't bother. Get out there and walk your 1km!! :)
New Again Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Thanks, but I'm really not sure you understand. For 23 years, I barely left the couch. I couldn't walk a block without getting out of breath. I've been in that position twice in my life, and both times just jumped into the activity I was interested in. It takes work and is a process, but I still think the best way is to just jump into it. Maybe others will have other ideas for you Good luck!
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