irc333 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Okay, I hang out with friends at house parties, BBQ's and Pool parties alot lately during the summer. There's this one woman I had met one of these parties, mid 30's, petite, small and great body, but drinks till drunk sometimes. Anyhow, I got to know her a little bit, and she admits she's in debt by 50K or something. Me and some other guy friends later talked about this woman, and how shallow she is. She's even made people feel uncomfortable in a mixed group of people that she says, "I only come to these parties if I know some hot guys will be there, otherwise I don't bother" Apparently, she came to one party, because she thought some "hot guy" from a previous beach trip was going to there, but he wound up not bing there. SO I guess she was a bit disappointed in the "current crowd" of men, and had no quams about making this known to the group of men she found UN-attractive. Now, just wondering, even if YOU YOURSELF are considered an attractive man, would a woman like THIS even turn you off?? Or do you think, "Well, I'm a hot guy, so I got a shot with her" so you're NOT offended, even in mixed company...when someone admittedly says, "I only came here to meet HOT guys" I've heard men make remarks about women's appearances, too, so that happens as well.
Rorschach Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Sounds like a bitch to me. But I'm curious where the having 50k in debt comes into play, you realize thats simply pushing the high end of normal right? The majority of people have that sort of debt. It's still a terrible bad thing, but I just found the way you said it, like it was some societal stigma rather odd. For the record I don't endorse debt and spend much of my time fighting to help people get out of debt, just thought it was an odd comment to make.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 If it were me I wouldn't be worrying about what she has or is saying.. it really isn't all that bad.. I most likely wouldn't be thinking I had a shot at her as she seems to have some other issues other than being superficial. Why would you want to date a seemly drunk person ?
TouchedByViolet Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Now, just wondering, even if YOU YOURSELF are considered an attractive man, would a woman like THIS even turn you off?? Uh.... I wouldn't touch this chick with a 10 foot stick. She is a self absorbed b1tch. IME, when you meet women like these give them the "wtf" look and walk away. Just because this chick is good looking doesn't make her opinion on men mean anything. Don't give this jerk women attention, or let her opinion shape your self image.
Author irc333 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Well, I guess I should reserve that for another post....but it all kind of ties into her personality, and financial irresponsbility. Unfortunately, financial irresponsibility is the norm these days. Most people tend to spend beyond their needs, or let's say they make 50K a year, but spend their money as if they made 100K a year. People can't learn to do without, and thus wind up putting themselves so deep in debt that they can't get out. Some are such deadbeats, they even walk out of their houses without paying the mortgage, and let it go into foreclosure. I had a neighbor, that just "walked" out of her house. What happens when you have a crap load of people in the united states who just LET things go into debt, with no real intention of paying back their debts? Of course, I'm sure there are people out there that are trying to pay off their college loans and such, but we have a lot of people out there that just CHOOSE to have a "I don't give a shyt, so I'll just SPEND SPEND SPEND!" I know of min. wage workers that buy expensive foreign cars, go figure Also, if you marry such a person that's deep in debt, you're sucked into it along with her as well. So it was good to find that out as well, plus her alcohol problem. Sounds like a bitch to me. But I'm curious where the having 50k in debt comes into play, you realize thats simply pushing the high end of normal right? The majority of people have that sort of debt. It's still a terrible bad thing, but I just found the way you said it, like it was some societal stigma rather odd. For the record I don't endorse debt and spend much of my time fighting to help people get out of debt, just thought it was an odd comment to make.
New Again Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 On the plus side, she lets everyone know upfront exactly who she is, what her issues are, and what kind of person she is Anyone who was not turned off by her comments would know exactly what he was getting into.
Author irc333 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Unless she's making all that crap up about going to AA Meetings and being in debt, just to scare off guys she's not attracted to. lol On the plus side, she lets everyone know upfront exactly who she is, what her issues are, and what kind of person she is Anyone who was not turned off by her comments would know exactly what he was getting into.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 What kind of debt does she say the 50k is ? a 50k credit card debt is different that 50k in school loans or 50k left on her mortgage as far as financial responsibility goes.
New Again Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 What kind of debt does she say the 50k is ? a 50k credit card debt is different that 50k in school loans or 50k left on her mortgage as far as financial responsibility goes. Or $50K in back child support...true story I know a woman who owes nearly that.
Woggle Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 If a woman like that came to a party at my house I would show her the door.
Stung Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I generally find people who make shallow commentary comparing other people's bodies as though meat were all we should aspire to to be rather simple and gross. The lack of respect for human feelings in anyone who isn't a perfect physical specimen is always a turn off, IMO, and I've rejected several d-bags for it in the past. Agreed with a PP on the debt, 50K in cc debt would also be a turn off, but 50K in student loans would be no big deal, and 50K left on a mortgage would be practically nothing.
make me believe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Sooo... most people are shallow. No surprise there! The only difference is some people make it clear, whereas others keep it hidden. Meh. I would just ignore her comments and not take them seriously. But honestly, I wouldn't fault her for saying she only wants to go to a party if hot guys are going to be there. I know I said the same thing a time or two when I was single!
Feelin Frisky Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 It's hard to know what goes through someone's head when they say "hot guys") or conversley, ("hot girls"). Especially in the case of women, "hot" does not necessarily mean "hot looking"--it can mean "hot acting" or exuding confidence as well as status. To someone like that a room full of male models won't really mean anything but a room full of ground-breakers in varying fields or success stories in business would seem like nirvana. I wouldn't put too much stock in what one person values. If she bails on my event because my friends and I aren't "A-types" in her eyes, that's just how it goes. I know who I am and I admit I don't work all that hard to impress anyone that it's their privelege to be near me. She can go chasing her perceptions with no consternation form me.
Westy Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 They way I am i would verbally pick this woman apart for the remainder of the evening. I tend to do that to anyone I find overbearing. I tend to be an extremely politically incorrect person, many times I dont even believe in what I am saying, I just do it for laughs, when i catch that one person that thinks I am serious and thinks im repulsive I will push their buttons all night long.
WhyIOughta Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Sadly, the majority of most women are shallow and also sadly again, most people are in debt up to their asses like that as well.
eric82 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) The way I see it, it was obvious that you were attracted to her, so she gave you chances to flirt with her to size you up and see how you handle yourself. You're calling her shallow now because you feel rejected and so your ego is attempting to save face by finding support that disqualifies her based on shallowness. Nowhere in your description does she sound shallow to me. You just struck yourself out by letting her looks and remarks intimidate you, it's that simple. She's even made people feel uncomfortable in a mixed group of people that she says, "I only come to these parties if I know some hot guys will be there, otherwise I don't bother" You should have replied, "How did you know I was going to be here?" Then teased that no wonder she's in debt, stalking you must be expensive. Point is, you were at a party, so have fun. Assuming that she's implying that you're unattractive and getting burt hurt about it is never the reaction you should have. I don't care how hot she is, becoming uncomfortable and doubting your perceived attractiveness does neither yourself nor her any good. Apparently, she came to one party, because she thought some "hot guy" from a previous beach trip was going to there, but he wound up not being there. Odds are he was "hot" because he wasn't concerned with how she saw him. SO I guess she was a bit disappointed in the "current crowd" of men, and had no quams about making this known to the group of men she found UN-attractive. So then set yourself apart from the "current crowd" of men by showing more confidence than the rest of them and not jumping on their bandwagon when they criticize her as shallow. Now, just wondering, even if YOU YOURSELF are considered an attractive man, would a woman like THIS even turn you off?? If you really considered yourself attractive you wouldn't concern yourself with what a woman you barely know, especially one who's drunk, might think of you. Or do you think, "Well, I'm a hot guy, so I got a shot with her" so you're NOT offended, even in mixed company...when someone admittedly says, "I only came here to meet HOT guys" Honestly I think you need to learn how to handle these kind of situations better before you have a shot with a woman like this. Stop allowing implications to disrupt the flow of what could otherwise easily be turned into fun interactions. Edited September 25, 2010 by eric82
Author irc333 Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) The way I see it, it was obvious that you were attracted to her, so she gave you chances to flirt with her to size you up and see how you handle yourself. You're calling her shallow now because you feel rejected and so your ego is attempting to save face by finding support that disqualifies her based on shallowness. Nowhere in your description does she sound shallow to me. You just struck yourself out by letting her looks and remarks intimidate you, it's that simple. Just to clarify I wasn't even there at the location, a friend of mine was talking about a woman at the party that made the remark. She never even rejected me (I never even asked her out) And no, he wasn't rejected by her either, she just made a random comment. Now, I have had met her at a PREVIOUS party, a male friend of mine said he met her at another party, and that's where she made the remark. Edited September 25, 2010 by irc333
eric82 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Just to clarify I wasn't even there at the location, a friend of mine was talking about a woman at the party that made the remark. She never even rejected me (I never even asked her out) And no, he wasn't rejected by her either, she just made a random comment. Yeah but take it for what it was, a random comment made by someone who was tipsy, nothing more. No need to go judging her character based on it. Shallow? Please, she was just letting loose. It's more fun to be around someone like this at a party than it is someone who lets a random drunk comment get to them. Lets be honest here, the only reason this gets to you or the other guy is because she's attractive (as you said, "petite, small and great body") and therefore the implication taken from her comment is intimidating as it makes you and the other guy question where you stand in the perceptions of an attractive woman like her. If she was ugly, would you or he really pay it this much mind? Of course not. You'd probably laugh and then forget about it.
Author irc333 Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 If she was ugly, would you or he really pay it this much mind? Of course not. You'd probably laugh and then forget about it. Actually, yeah we'd still comment on a such a woman's remark, regardless of what she looks like. I had a guy I was carpooling with, I said something about how only 1 woman showed up to our party, and he said, "Yeah, well, she would count as probably 3 women", he remarked on her obesity. I was thinking, "man, what an ass".
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