Scarlett513 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I recently signed up for an online dating site and I have come to the conclusion that I'm seriously intimidated by good-looking, fit men. I would rate my own level of attractiveness as average. Most of my past boyfriends were men who I was attracted to on an emotional more than a physical level. I think I partly liked them initially bc I didn't feel threatened by them. My last boyfriend I found very attractive and could never understand why someone who looked like him would be attracted to someone who looks like me (we broke up ultimately bc he is not a fabulous guy, lol). My friends however always said that he and I were an "even match" appearance-wise. Now I'm doing this online dating and have met a few men that I'm interested in meeting who also seem interested in meeting me. Most of them, judging by the photos they posted, are what I would describe as very attractive. One of them is also very very fit. My worry is that when I meet them they will be disappointed by what they see. I've posted plenty of recent, honest pictures of myself including one or two full length photos, so they already have a pretty good idea of what I look like. But I'm afraid in person they'll notice my not so toned belly or my flabby arms and be instantly turned off. I don't expect everyone to be attracted to me but I'm worried that going out with a "hot" guy will only be a waste of time for us both if I'm not physically evenly matched with them. Should I even risk the rejection or should I go out with the guys I find less attractive bc I feel like it might be a better fit? I hope this doesn't sound shallow, I'm just very nervous!! Thoughts?
Feelin Frisky Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I'm not up on how your on-line dating thing works but don't the fellas have a chance to see your picture before they agree to go out with you? If that's the case then perhaps you should take it that you're attractive enough.
PJKino Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Jeez how many of these posts about average looking women only being really attracted to hot guys are we gonna have? I think we can stop with the Men are much more shallow and into looks then women bs
Cee Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I have trouble knowing how attractive I am. So, this is what I do... I post full body pictures. Honest ones. None of those weird angle shots. I don't go for guys who say they want "petite," "toned" or "skinny" women. I'm at a decent BMI (23), but I've got a belly and I'm not super thin. Also, I avoid guys who make a point that they are in great shape. There are a lot of guys who are fit, but don't make a huge deal of it on their profiles. Focus on physique turns me off.
Author Scarlett513 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 I never said I'm *only* attracted to very good looking men. In fact, if you read my post my past relationships have been with normal looking guys. Never once in those relationships did I want him to look different than he did. However, of course I might be more physically attracted to fit, good looking men - the same way that most men are more ( but not necessarily *only* attracted to fit, beautiful women). It just so happens that the guys I've been corresponding with are what I would call very attractive. My question isn't saying I wouldn't go out with more average guys (I have happily done so before and will certainly do so again) but whether going out with a guy I see as being too attractive for me is a waste of my time.
SteveC80 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Jeez how many of these posts about average looking women only being really attracted to hot guys are we gonna have? I think we can stop with the Men are much more shallow and into looks then women bs Women are only really turned on by the few top percent of good looking Men,most "settle" to get their emotional needs met
SteveC80 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 If you're so perfect, why are you on this site all day? haha, just curious man When did i say i was perfect? I do extremely well with women in terms of gettign them but i get bored rather easily for some reason
tincanman99 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Honestly there is a couple of things going on here. First is the law of supply and demand. You are a woman and attractive therefore you are in demand. Not much more to say than that. How attractive you are I cant say but apparently men find you attractive enough for them to want you. Second women are much more critical of women's bodies than men are. Men will tolerate and enjoy women with less than perfect bodies. Just because you dont consider yourself fit does not mean that men wont like your body nor find you unattractive. Lastly I think you have a few self esteem issues which only you can work through. You have to accept yourself for who you are. No one else can do that for you.
a_woman Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 When did i say i was perfect? I do extremely well with women in terms of gettign them but i get bored rather easily for some reason That's because those women only exist in your imagination
carhill Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 OP, strive to interact with such men on an everyday basis with no expectations. Work on eye contact, conversation, humor, etc. Become comfortable with their physical appearance. I work on this (the reverse) when I travel. I just did, here sitting at SFO waiting on a flight, with a lady who wanted to share my power connection as I was charging my computer.. Whoa, there goes one by on the moving walkway....OK, gotta go
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