I think im at the point in my life that i dont care to try to find a women any longer

[PJKino]

Im 30 never been in a relationship only been with one women sexually who later said she only did it becasue she was drunk and felt no attraction to me..

 

Ive always been depressed about it,i always wanted the ability to be able to at least be attractive to some group of women and hopefully find that special someone one day,the idea that hardly any women are attracted to me always bummed me out

 

Ive reached the point where i dont care anymore,im apathetic to fidning women,no more nights of tears or beign depressed about the opposite sex not likng me and me being invisible to them ive reached a numbness to where im contnent being alone

 

Iam tryign to figure out of this is a healthy thing or not,sure part of it is a defense mechanism and also self preservation

 

All the fluff cliche 101 repsonses like theres someone for everyone youll find someone if youre not looking,its all about CONFIDENCE and blah blah blah aree all meaningless and tired responses ive heard that have not worked for me

 

So while deep down im sure it hurts me i need to at least kepe soem self preservation socomign to the conclusion im not gonan get a women and not caring or tryign anymore well at least keep me more emotional stable and brign less pain and depression in my life is the way i look at it

 

Instead of being Mr Naive and keep dremaing that it will happen for me when theres been no evdiecne that it will ever happen and setting myself up for more let down after let down

[GorillaTheater]

Then you've just hit the point where a woman WILL enter your life.

 

God loves irony.

[Stockalone]

Then you've just hit the point where a woman WILL enter your life.

 

God loves irony.

 

Ah yes, those are unforgettable moments! He'll always remember the part where the woman tells him that she thinks that he is a great guy and she really likes him ... but only as a friend. And some people think God doesn't have a sense of humour.

[tincanman99]

The key is indifference.

 

And I think you have reached that place. Women in general seem to love men that arent all ga-ga over them that have the attitude of this: you are in my life, thats good, you arent in my life, thats good too.

 

Now that you dont care you should go out and dog as many of them as you can. You might be surprised what will happen.

 

After all if you dont care you have nothing to lose by talking to them, do you?

[TouchedByViolet]

Hey OP, we need some details to help you out! Are you simply not good looking? Socially awkward? Quiet type? Living at home? Make a list of things holding you back. Post them here, take the good advice, and try working on some of them. You are still plenty young. 30 year old guys can attract a nice wide age range of women. Don't give up!

[PJKino]

Hey OP, we need some details to help you out! Are you simply not good looking? Socially awkward? Quiet type? Living at home? Make a list of things holding you back. Post them here, take the good advice, and try working on some of them. You are still plenty young. 30 year old guys can attract a nice wide age range of women. Don't give up!

 

I dont know i doubt im very attratcive at all if im 30 and have rarely had women show any interest in me at all

 

Im kinda quiet till you get to know me and not great at approching women but if therye nto attracted to me anyway whats the point?

[GooseChaser]

Not everyone will be interested! In fact, a lot won't be! You just have to look for the signs that someone IS interested, and those can help you have more success.

[PJKino]

Not everyone will be interested! In fact, a lot won't be! You just have to look for the signs that someone IS interested, and those can help you have more success.

 

Ive been looking for 30 years no such luck..

 

Not even something that can be maybe even misconstrued as a sign

[AverageJoe]

Ive been looking for 30 years no such luck..

 

 

Stop looking in the same place.

[PJKino]

Stop looking in the same place.

 

Ive looked in different places none work

 

No single women are left in my social circle anyway all my friends are married so im not around single women much anymore so theres no temptation and chance for me to get rejected anymore

[Kovacz]

PJKino, you're not alone. I've been feeling the same way for a little while, but never bothered to post. I'm also in more or less the same boat as you: early 30's, professional, go to gym basically everyday, got a nice ride, nice apt, great social circle... but yet, no meaningful relationships. First dates, sure, plenty, but that's not what we're here for.

 

At first I thought the problem was me, but objectively speaking there's nothing "wrong" with me. The problem is this singles culture we live in. It is explored in depth in the book Unhooked Generation. Successful, attractive, single men AND women are having a really hard time coming together these days. It's sad, really. Lonely hearts from both genders not being able to connect with each other, despite similar yearnings and need of companionship.

 

Personally, I blame it on the feminist movement and the idea that every woman should be independent -- aka perfectly happy without a man. Unhooked Generation fails to address this elephant in the room, since it was written by a feminist.

[U1987]

Im 30 never been in a relationship only been with one women sexually who later said she only did it becasue she was drunk and felt no attraction to me..

 

Ive always been depressed about it,i always wanted the ability to be able to at least be attractive to some group of women and hopefully find that special someone one day,the idea that hardly any women are attracted to me always bummed me out

 

Ive reached the point where i dont care anymore,im apathetic to fidning women,no more nights of tears or beign depressed about the opposite sex not likng me and me being invisible to them ive reached a numbness to where im contnent being alone

 

Iam tryign to figure out of this is a healthy thing or not,sure part of it is a defense mechanism and also self preservation

 

All the fluff cliche 101 repsonses like theres someone for everyone youll find someone if youre not looking,its all about CONFIDENCE and blah blah blah aree all meaningless and tired responses ive heard that have not worked for me

 

So while deep down im sure it hurts me i need to at least kepe soem self preservation socomign to the conclusion im not gonan get a women and not caring or tryign anymore well at least keep me more emotional stable and brign less pain and depression in my life is the way i look at it

 

Instead of being Mr Naive and keep dremaing that it will happen for me when theres been no evdiecne that it will ever happen and setting myself up for more let down after let down

 

 

You really, really have to take a long and objective look at yourself and ask if there's anything about you that women would NOT find attractive? Believe it or not, some pretty common-sense things are a mystery to a lot of guys.

 

Do you dress well? Sorry if it's a stupid question, but a lot of guys dress like slobs. I used to. Then I realized that baggy old jeans and a sweatshirt will only get you so far. Pick up a GQ (especially GQ Britain or GQ Italy) and dress like the guys in there.

 

Do you have good hygiene? Once again, sorry if this a dumb question for you. It should be common sense, but believe it or not, I've actually met guys who prided themselves on "not feeling the need to shower." These guys would go out with greasy hair and smelling like sweat and ass and wondering why they were single.

 

Do you have and hobbies or interests that could be considered, I dunno, "nerdy" or "geeky" by ordinary people? I used to be a huge nerd in high school and early college. I used to think Stargate SG1, Linux computers and David Lynch movies were the greatest things in the world, and they were all I talked about. I took a while to learn those things aren't particularly interesting and might actually be off putting to girls. I only reveal those things to girls I've been dating for a while.

 

I'm not a consistently successful ladies-man, but I've had a few girlfriends, and all after I took a look at myself and made some minor and some major changes.

[Sphere]

You should have had this approach ten years ago.

 

At least on the brightside, you have a "I don't care attitude" and this along with changes to yourself will go a long way in changing your fortunes with women.

[Westy]

Maybe post a photo so we know what were working with.

 

Ive seen some horrid lookin dudes in my day with girlfriends and so it cant be all that bad.