Lemontang Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Hey just wanted to gauge peoples opinions on how they feel about seeing ex's on internet dating sites. Needless to say I've been doing a bit of it myself and had a lot of fun doing so. Came across an ex of mine recently and honestly my 1st reaction was good on her for getting back on the horse so to speak as I wish nothing but for her to be happy. But it got me thinking that she might get a bit cut if she saw me on the same site (so of course blocked her so she at the very least didn't feel uncomfortable knowing I was on as well). So what are your thoughts or experiences in coming across this? I'm not talking about people you may have gone on one or two dates with that's off the net that's pretty basic, but ones you'd forged an actual relationship with. Would you go to another site? or expect them to be mature enough to know your on as well? LT
Cee Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I think you did the sensible thing by blocking her on the site. I think that's all you need to do and carry on with dating. Switching sites might not help because people often hop from site to site. Hopefully, your ex knows how to take care of herself and not stalk you on dating sites. I have a policy not to look at ex profiles on the dating sites. I usually end up hiding them b/c it's depressing when exes show up in searches, especially at the very top. I was impressed that you wish you ex well and are happy she's moving on. Perhaps that positive energy will somehow help her find a new BF.
Author Lemontang Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 OK well things just got really weird. Was on tonight and came across a new profile that had viewed mine, what caught my eye was the specs were the same as hers that I came across earlier, now coincidence yeah possible, but the comments in this profile are quotes she uses regularly (everyone's got a few key catch phrases that define them) not to mention the other profile likes the same books and has the same ethnicity (it's not common), and age, height etc.. are all the same. So it now looks like she's set up two profiles (one with photo, one without and both active within a few hours of each other). Now I don't want to read too much into this, she's obviously got some reason to set up two profiles on the same site. But I did block the 1st one (and now the 2nd one) but my guess not before she saw mine and may have cottoned on to that. Now I'm happy that she's dating that's great, well now I hope at least she is dating other people. But should I say something? I mean I'm not going to date her again, I've moved on.
brainygirl Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I saw my ex husband on one, he had a bunch of lies up about himself, I figure he's going to keep getting the same results in his life if he keeps the lying up. I blocked him after I read the profile, it was good for a giggle. I've seen ex boyfriends on too, it seems like one followed me from on site to another, and changed his city of residence to show up in my search parameters even though I know he hasn't moved. But he has what I like to cal significant issues (lied about his age, mental health stuff), so I blocked him too. Mostly though, you have to figure its like going to the grocery store in a small town after break up, you will eventually run into that person, its best to be distant, but civil.
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I've seen ex boyfriends on too, it seems like one followed me from on site to another, and changed his city of residence to show up in my search parameters even though I know he hasn't moved. Lol, this is soooo weird. What a nutter.
stillafool Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Now I don't want to read too much into this, she's obviously got some reason to set up two profiles on the same site. But I did block the 1st one (and now the 2nd one) but my guess not before she saw mine and may have cottoned on to that. Now I'm happy that she's dating that's great, well now I hope at least she is dating other people. But should I say something? I mean I'm not going to date her again, I've moved on. No. She was probably just curious as you were curious and looked at her profile. No harm on either side that I see.
brainygirl Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Lol, this is soooo weird. What a nutter. Literally, as in Bi-polar.
tigressA Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I saw my ex-FWB who I had a really convoluted relationship with for 2+ years on OKCupid. I was really surprised because I thought he had gotten back with his ex-girlfriend--there are pictures of them all over his Facebook, and his relationship status is removed--and yet he was advertising himself as single on OKCupid, and looking for "short and long-term dating". Hopefully his girl doesn't find out...
Author Lemontang Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 No. She was probably just curious as you were curious and looked at her profile. No harm on either side that I see. True as we all are when we see others we know on these things. But it still doesn't explain having two profiles up on the same site I just feel embarrassed for her that she's done that and fail to see what she's trying to achieve. But meh she'd be wasting her time if it was her way of saying "I'm still here" kind of thing. She did used to message half my friends asking about me in the hope it'd get back to me and I'd call her, but that was ages ago. I'd have thought seeing her on here was an indication she'd moved on. But like I said I could be reading too much into it. There's is another girl I went out with for awhile who I see online a bit but it doesn't bother me. She even calls once in awhile to ask how my dating life's going and tries to rope me into some speed dating gigs she attends a bit. So I find the two contrasts quite odd.
The Hardest Walk Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 For me, shortly after the breakup, I saw my ex's freshly reactivated account on the website we met on. It hurt. Burned a little, even. It hurt slightly too much, so I chose to hide her profile so she wouldn't appear on my homepage multiple times a day due to our high match percentage. I'd expect the other party to do whatever they want, whether it's blocking my profile as well, constantly stalking my profile and sulking, or any other non-confrontational course of action. I'd only expect them to not send obsessive messages. If that's met, then it doesn't matter to me.
Maggotface Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I actually saw an ex of mine on today! And like an idiot I checked out her profile without thinking that now she'll know I've been to her page. I know it doesnt sound like a big deal but this girl is WAY dramatic. I didnt really think anything of it though, I mean what can I think I'm using the same site!
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