DontWorryBHappy Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 (edited) Lately I'm realizing how messed up Facebook's relationship status section can be. For some couples it doesn't seem to be an issue because those couples enjoy the opportunity to let others know they're now in a relationship... However, there will *always* be the risk of the dreaded "cancel relationship" button if things go sour. Personally, I've had to press that button twice since creating a facebook acount and BOTH times have been emotional. Another situation: My cousin just got engaged and I was the first to find out... before his parents, his friends... everyone... all because I happened to be on facebook at around 3am. His mom ended up writing something on his wall along the lines of "Thanks for telling your mother!" and it created a bit of drama. He had to tell her "sorry mom... was planning to tell you this weekend... darn facebook." Anyway.... Issues also come about when both partners are in a brand new relationship and arent on the same page with this. One person might be very enthusiastic about changing the status whereas the other may not want to advertise the fact that he/she is in a relationship to 400 random people. It's pretty easy for one person to feel slighted in this kind of situation, because if one person does want to change the status and the other doesn't, the one who DOES want to change it might think the other isnt proud of the relationship or doesnt value it... an the one who DOESN'T want to change it might feel pressured to do something they would rather not do. I've actually decided to boycott listing my status while in a relationship. It came up in my new relationship when I commented to my guy that I'm still listed as single on facebook. He said that he doesn't always go on facebook and it didnt matter to him much, but he asked if I wanted to change it. I wasnt sure if he was too enthused about changing the status so I felt a little weird at first... Ended up telling him let's just delete "single" and leave it unlisted. But then I brought it up again and he told me he doesnt mind changing the status... so I told him we should change it to in a relationship and connect it to each other. But then I got home and thought about it more, realized that I havent even told my family about this relationship yet and that the whole status thing seems silly and creates drama. So I texted him and said to just delete the "single" part and change his "looking for" section. By that point he had already changed it to "in a relationship" (but changed that after reading my text). I thought it was sweet that he was willing to change the status even though he was reluctant, just because it was what I wanted at the time . But in the end I'm happy to have the status as unlisted. This way I can tell people about my relationship on my own terms and I will never, no matter what, have to press that stupid "cancel relationship" button again. Just as long as you are happy in real life and both partners dont have a problem telling people (in person) that they are in a relationship, then it might be a better idea to leave it unlisted. On the other hand if both partners wanted it listed and are happy, good for you. p.s. regardless of any of this, I DO have to say that the "It's Complicated" option is pretty dumb altogether. It's one thing to advertise the face that you're in a relationship... but it's another thing to advertise that you're having issues or that you're in a "complicated relationship"! What's your opinion on facebook's relationship status? Edited September 22, 2010 by DontWorryBHappy
USMCHokie Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 What's your opinion on facebook's relationship status? Doesn't matter to me. If I become official with someone, and she wants to change it, then it gets changed. If not, it remains "single." That being said, if I'm in a relationship with someone I really care about, then I'd be damn proud to show people that I'm with her. But it's Facebook...so whatev's...
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 After having gone through both the "Star Gazer went from Single to In a Relationship" and then later "Star Gazer went from In a Relationship to Single" and all the resulting drama and questions that followed, I won't be changing mine again until there's a ring on my finger. Okay, well maybe not that long, but just being "official" will not inspire me to change it. I have considered removing mine all together, but then that causes even more people be nosy.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 Well the trick is to remove it and then delete it from your feed. That way it's kind of hard for people to even notice you changed anything. I actually feel weirdly at ease and comfortable with the fact that my status is unlisted in my new relationship.... makes me feel more in control of the situation. Like i'm not a slave to the facebook status and what it "means" to the rest of the world... if that makes any sense, lol.
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Well the trick is to remove it and then delete it from your feed. Guess what? It still shows. Yup, it does.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 (edited) Seriously??? O_o..... o_O.... are you sure? I need to look into this.... lol *edit* I dont think it does. I just looked at my page through a different account and it is removed from the feed. Edited September 22, 2010 by DontWorryBHappy
Lady vs Panda Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I keep my relationship status blank and have a policy not to change it unless A) we have reached at least the six-month exclusivity mark AND B) he asks. I try to keep my FB low-drama, I don't need my high school friends or my aunts and uncles in on all my private happenings. I have another FB account for my professional use, it's almost like another Linked In. I will always keep that relationship status blank, unless by some freak occurrence I somehow end up getting married. I guess I'd change it for that.
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Seriously??? O_o..... o_O.... are you sure? I need to look into this.... lol *edit* I dont think it does. I just looked at my page through a different account and it is removed from the feed. Mine totally showed up still, and was commented on. And a friend of mine deleted his, and I could still see it in my feed AND on his page. I dunno, FB is weird. You can delete the little thing that says "Star Gazer commented on Hokie's picture" from your wall, but then the picture itself will show up in the feed and still say "Star Gazer commented on Hokie's picture." *shrug*
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 lol I think facebook just hates you and your friends ... . But now you have me paranoid so I'm gonna keep checking on this via another account to see if it shows up...
mixwell Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Lately I'm realizing how messed up Facebook's relationship status section can be. For some couples it doesn't seem to be an issue because those couples enjoy the opportunity to let others know they're now in a relationship... However, there will *always* be the risk of the dreaded "cancel relationship" button if things go sour. Personally, I've had to press that button twice since creating a facebook acount and BOTH times have been emotional. Another situation: My cousin just got engaged and I was the first to find out... before his parents, his friends... everyone... all because I happened to be on facebook at around 3am. His mom ended up writing something on his wall along the lines of "Thanks for telling your mother!" and it created a bit of drama. He had to tell her "sorry mom... was planning to tell you this weekend... darn facebook." Anyway.... Issues also come about when both partners are in a brand new relationship and arent on the same page with this. One person might be very enthusiastic about changing the status whereas the other may not want to advertise the fact that he/she is in a relationship to 400 random people. It's pretty easy for one person to feel slighted in this kind of situation, because if one person does want to change the status and the other doesn't, the one who DOES want to change it might think the other isnt proud of the relationship or doesnt value it... an the one who DOESN'T want to change it might feel pressured to do something they would rather not do. I've actually decided to boycott listing my status while in a relationship. It came up in my new relationship when I commented to my guy that I'm still listed as single on facebook. He said that he doesn't always go on facebook and it didnt matter to him much, but he asked if I wanted to change it. I wasnt sure if he was too enthused about changing the status so I felt a little weird at first... Ended up telling him let's just delete "single" and leave it unlisted. But then I brought it up again and he told me he doesnt mind changing the status... so I told him we should change it to in a relationship and connect it to each other. But then I got home and thought about it more, realized that I havent even told my family about this relationship yet and that the whole status thing seems silly and creates drama. So I texted him and said to just delete the "single" part and change his "looking for" section. By that point he had already changed it to "in a relationship" (but changed that after reading my text). I thought it was sweet that he was willing to change the status even though he was reluctant, just because it was what I wanted at the time . But in the end I'm happy to have the status as unlisted. This way I can tell people about my relationship on my own terms and I will never, no matter what, have to press that stupid "cancel relationship" button again. Just as long as you are happy in real life and both partners dont have a problem telling people (in person) that they are in a relationship, then it might be a better idea to leave it unlisted. On the other hand if both partners wanted it listed and are happy, good for you. p.s. regardless of any of this, I DO have to say that the "It's Complicated" option is pretty dumb altogether. It's one thing to advertise the face that you're in a relationship... but it's another thing to advertise that you're having issues or that you're in a "complicated relationship"! What's your opinion on facebook's relationship status? Thank you for reminding me why I deleted FB and MS... What's soo huge about internet life that takes over your real life.. ? I deleted myspace when I was seeing a new chick and had everyone comment when i posted "in a relationship* In my opinion FB and MS is just a place to air out your dirty laundry and if you CHOOSE to post personal info on it then don't bltch about the consequences because YOU are the one making your status known.. God I am soooo glad i deleted my accounts and realized the FB isn't always serious business.. GET THE F**K OFF THE COMPUTER !!!!! Jesus f**cking H Christ.. P A T H E T I C.. yea im being a jerk off but serious get a life !!!! FFS
that girl Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I've never had my relationship status listed on Facebook. I just leave it blank. That being said, I think single is slightly more iffy that blank. It opens the door for past friends and strangers to try and start something up because they think you're single.
Citizen Erased Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I'm a big fan of it. It made my last breakup so easy, it did all the telling for me.
Lady vs Panda Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I'm a big fan of it. It made my last breakup so easy, it did all the telling for me. Ha ha good point.
tigressA Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 There's an option in privacy settings to make it so that you're the only one who sees your relationship status.
CLC2008 Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I keep my relationship status blank and have a policy not to change it unless A) we have reached at least the six-month exclusivity mark AND B) he asks. I try to keep my FB low-drama, I don't need my high school friends or my aunts and uncles in on all my private happenings. I concur....
Sphere Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I concur.... I concur too, too much is made of facebook. Who cares if your boyfriend/girlfriend's status says single? As long as you are in a relationship what does facebook matter? It's just another thing for people to get hung up about. I find most people aren't content in life unless there is drama and problems.
Pyro Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 There is nothing worse than the couple you know on FB who "break up" once every couple of weeks and change the status immediately when the breakup occurs, only to change it back. FTR I waited almost two weeks after my last breakup before I changed my status just to be sure. Before I changed my status to engaged I told those important to me away from FB who are on FB.
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