LoveTNT Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I finally kissed some guy last week. He's cute, tall etc.. when we kissed it sucked. It didn't feel the same. I'm like great. I felt like crying. My ex's lips were so sexy and full. So my question is, am I seriously going to go through another new type of grieving stage when I'm comparing these guys to him? Bleh. Also, yesterday I was reading at a coffee shop, and this guy starts talking to me, I was like ok he's cute. But it turns out they are the same inter racial mix and it just reminds me of my ex, double bleh... :/ I'm doing better though, accepting, but this is annoying, I don't want to compare and let it consume my thoughts. What is this!!!?
Author LoveTNT Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Not so yet, But I'm on the right path. It's only been 7 weeks since break up. I'm coping.
CD111 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Definitely sounds like you are not over him. Now I have also recently been broken up with (about 4 weeks ago) and I look at it like this. Sure there were many attributes about him that I thought were great (tall, built like a greek god, GREAT in bed). However, our relationship was not working and neither person was happy. I think about some of the things he did that I didn't appreciate (being flaky, not knowing what he wanted, not being able to express his feelings) and I realized that they negative far Far FAR out weighed the positive. Plus there are plent of tall, attractive men around that are probably great in bed/kissers so what's the point of being held up on a guy that only made me miserable. I understand it takes a while to heal from a break up, but you could be letting a great guy slip away because you are still pining for Mr. Wrong.
Author LoveTNT Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Definitely sounds like you are not over him. Now I have also recently been broken up with (about 4 weeks ago) and I look at it like this. Sure there were many attributes about him that I thought were great (tall, built like a greek god, GREAT in bed). However, our relationship was not working and neither person was happy. I think about some of the things he did that I didn't appreciate (being flaky, not knowing what he wanted, not being able to express his feelings) and I realized that they negative far Far FAR out weighed the positive. Plus there are plent of tall, attractive men around that are probably great in bed/kissers so what's the point of being held up on a guy that only made me miserable. I understand it takes a while to heal from a break up, but you could be letting a great guy slip away because you are still pining for Mr. Wrong. Thanks CD, I feel you on that.
tami-chan Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 How's dating going for you after your break up? I was a bit lost and confused about the "rules"...had quite a bit of "invites" but did not know how to handle them. I have not been single since I was in my teens. But it turns out they are the same inter racial mix and it just reminds me of my ex, double bleh... :/You will find that the guys you take a notice of are the ones who have similarities with you ex. You will gravitate to what is familiar...I think it is normal. In time it would not be so bad... I'm doing better though, accepting, but this is annoying, I don't want to compare and let it consume my thoughts.Good attitude. Don't let it "consume" you. Just be honest about your feelings about your break-up when that "discussion" comes up.
Author LoveTNT Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 Thanks Tami, by the way I love that artist from the work of your avatar. Anyhow, in due time... I am better, so it should only get better, I just hope I'm not one of those ex's that hears about their ex dating someone new (atleast for now, I know the day will come when I'm far beyond carrying about his choices) thank goodness we don't have the same circle of friends.
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