outlaw4l Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I've been talking to this girl for over a month and a half now. I really like her a lot and she has told me that she really likes me a lot too. I just don't know what her true intentions are for me and need some help. Just to make it known I'm a single father of a four year old son so I tend to move slower in relationships before committing myself to someone so I can get to know them well. As a matter of fact I've only introduced one girl I've dated seriously to my son. So I told this girl from the jump I'm pretty much a slow poke when it comes to relationships b/c of my son and tend to go with the flow of things but I am open to a LTR. She said she is very picky herself and said jokingly her friends tell her she is a commitment-phobe, but she insists she isn't since shes been a 4 year ltr before a 6 month ltr last year. Okay so we established already that we aren't having sex with other people. She has told me that she is fine with the idea of me having a son and it's not a dealbreaker b/c she grew up with stepparents. The other night she invited me to spend the night over her house and I asked her so what are we? We both came to the conclusion we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend, she said we aren't friends with benefits because that is not what she is looking for. So it ended up at we don't know what we exactly we are????? So I tell her she is definitely perfect G/F material for me. She responds by saying she was flattered and thank you so much for the comment. She never responded by saying I am perfect B/F material which I was hoping to hear lol. Although she has told me I'm a great catch a week or two ago if that counts for anything. She tells me all the time how great of a guy I am, how fun I am b/c I am open to do things and be active, how happy she is that she met me, how good the sex is and how much I turn her on, how I am a so easy to talk too and she's never met a guy so easy to tell her feelings to, etc. We had a weekend getaway last week that was great. Basically this chick is the complete package, smoking hot, very smart, great job, financially stable, great head on her shoulders. Probably the most complete package lady I've ever landed in my life and I dont want to f*ck it up! She always says guys tell her that she is too good for them and they are intimidated by her. I am not intimidated by her b/c I am a good looking guy but deep down I feel I may not be good enough b/c I have a kid eventhough she has told me different. Is she just with me for the moment until something better comes along?? Is she using me for sex?? Is she with me now b/c i like to do fun stuff??Is she playing games with me?? Am I making too out of this wondering?? I don't know I just feel I don't want to put all my eggs in the basket with this girl and she never commits to me. I would rather still date others if she has no intentions of committing to me so I don't waste time. This is driving me nuts lol!!!
Author outlaw4l Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Forgot to mention she does have some future events setup for us like this festival a month from she planned out for us to go to if that is worth anything
Author outlaw4l Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 There has got to be someone out there who can give me some solid advice on the matter. Any advice is sooo much appreciated!
Cee Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 There is really no advice to give, but relax. The hamster wheel is spinning in your head with, "What ifs." You've only been together for 4-6 weeks and all you can do is be yourself and dive into that risky place, which is to allow yourself to feel. You wanted to take it slow, which means there will be uncertainty. Eventually things will become deeper or they will stop working. Hopefully, you'll be able to tell the difference. It will take time to trust her and I don't know if she's trustworthy. It sounds like she has given you a lot of compliments and affirmed wanting an LTR. But I think your intuition can give you clues on her feelings toward you. What does she say and do? Enjoy your time with her and take every moment of goodness while you can. None of us have crystal balls and if we did, we'd all be playing lotto. Hang in there and keep posting your insecurities so that you won't dump them on your girlfriend.
Author outlaw4l Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 There is really no advice to give, but relax. The hamster wheel is spinning in your head with, "What ifs." You've only been together for 4-6 weeks and all you can do is be yourself and dive into that risky place, which is to allow yourself to feel. You wanted to take it slow, which means there will be uncertainty. Eventually things will become deeper or they will stop working. Hopefully, you'll be able to tell the difference. It will take time to trust her and I don't know if she's trustworthy. It sounds like she has given you a lot of compliments and affirmed wanting an LTR. But I think your intuition can give you clues on her feelings toward you. What does she say and do? Enjoy your time with her and take every moment of goodness while you can. None of us have crystal balls and if we did, we'd all be playing lotto. Hang in there and keep posting your insecurities so that you won't dump them on your girlfriend. Thanks so much for your advice! When you said enjoy my time with her and take every moment of good while I can, I don't think it could have been summed any better than that! Thanks so much.
phineas Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Your banging a hot chick. I fail to see the problem. Just keep her away from your kid until you know she's going to stick around.
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