DukeofKirkaldy Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Hi All. This is a great forum for getting perspective, so I'm coming again for advice. Background: 47, divorced. New to the dating world. Current issue. I'm currently in the early stages of dating. At the moment, I'm spending time with two women, both of whom I like very much. If things keep going well, I know at some point I'll have to make a choice, as I am a "relationship" kind of guy. My issue is with "Martha", one of the women I'm seeing. We've been out 7 times. She's smart, funny, and we connect in a very satisfying way. She seems to really like me, and I like her enormously. The problem: Her ex is her childhood sweetheart. They have a ton of history together, and, although they've been divorced for 3 years, she still seems to have some emotional attachment to him...or maybe to the relationship they had. She's been pretty honest about the fact that the divorce was painful for her on many levels, so it's not that she's hiding something. It's this.... I don't think I want to compete with ghosts from the past. I don't want to invest in this, only to have her tell me at some point that I'm a nice guy, but she's really still in love with the ex. I realize there's no perfect answer here, but I'd appreciate any thoughts. Thanks.
Lovelybird Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Did you have a history fall in love with "unavailable women"? if not, then the only advice I have is TIME, only time can tell.
tami-chan Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I was in my teens when I met my now xH. I do not remember how "in love" I was with him but I must've since I defied my parents to elope and marry him when I was 18+. Having said that, when my SO and I talk about relationships and such, I can only draw from my only experience and that is with my xH. Is she constantly talking about her xH? Perhaps you should let her know how it seems to you, and if she is honest (which it seems she is) she would be candid in her response and you can take it from there.
gypsy_nicky Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 (edited) Hi All. as I am a "relationship" kind of guy. almost every guy is a 'relationship kind of guy'. It just takes the right person to do it for them. I think you should see more women (not just the two you mentioned) if possible. Don't let go of the two you mentioned but don't invest in them too quickly because you somehow are spotting red flags with the current one. With the girl you really like>>>>> DO NOT rescue and put on that white knight crap. Edited September 20, 2010 by gypsy_nicky
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