CM2009 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I'm new to this Single after divorce thing, but my question to you is when you start talking to someone when is the best time to tell the person about your past in that you use to be married?? I've heard people say right away, some have told me after a couple of dates and also heard if things become serious. I did it once and I told a girl right away that I use to be married and it didn't go to well, so just looking for some advice thanks!!!
tami-chan Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I'm new to this Single after divorce thing, but my question to you is when you start talking to someone when is the best time to tell the person about your past in that you use to be married?? I've heard people say right away, some have told me after a couple of dates and also heard if things become serious. I did it once and I told a girl right away that I use to be married and it didn't go to well, so just looking for some advice thanks!!! How old are you? I do not think it is a secret that many marriages end in divorce these days. Telling your date you are divorced is not a big deal. Disclosure is important.
Crazy Magnet Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I try to get it out in the first several dates. If people have a problem with it then they need a reality check. To date not a single date has had an issue with my divorced status.
Author CM2009 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 How old are you? I do not think it is a secret that many marriages end in divorce these days. Telling your date you are divorced is not a big deal. Disclosure is important. Late 20's....
Author CM2009 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 when they ask you, you tell them the truth. So just wait til they ask you??
witabix Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 So just wait til they ask you?? Depends on how you feel about it. Disclosure is important, but it is your private life and its up to you how comfortable you feel about self disclosure. I would add that anyone who judges you negatively based on being divorced is probably not right for you anyway. Personally I try to ensure that my past is known, divorce, children's ages and stuff so that there are no misconceptions.
Author CM2009 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Depends on how you feel about it. Disclosure is important, but it is your private life and its up to you how comfortable you feel about self disclosure. I would add that anyone who judges you negatively based on being divorced is probably not right for you anyway. Personally I try to ensure that my past is known, divorce, children's ages and stuff so that there are no misconceptions. that made me feel a little bit better
witabix Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 that made me feel a little bit better Result! Excellent. Don't be feeling embarrassed about being divorced, I don't think there is any stigma attached to it these days.
phineas Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 It comes down to how recent your divorce was, how long the seperation & who ended the marriage. i'm divorced last week. Seperated yr & a half, she was cheating. Seeing two women & I can't go without them asking me questions about my ex-wife whenever I talk to them or see them. It's getting annoying. I think their wondering if i'd take her back or something? I don't know. I got two little ones with her so I gotta deal with the nut-job for at least 16 yrs.
EasyHeart Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 For some women it will be a dealbreaker, for some it won't. It's best to find out early before you waste a lot of time on someone who thinks it's a dealbreaker, so I say put it out right away. Unless you're a jerk, there's not point in trying to mislead someone.
Author CM2009 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 It comes down to how recent your divorce was, how long the seperation & who ended the marriage. i'm divorced last week. Seperated yr & a half, she was cheating. Seeing two women & I can't go without them asking me questions about my ex-wife whenever I talk to them or see them. It's getting annoying. I think their wondering if i'd take her back or something? I don't know. I got two little ones with her so I gotta deal with the nut-job for at least 16 yrs. Well separated early last yr, and everything is done. We had kids but they weren't mines. She cheated and I made my share of mistakes but nothing to do with woman but my issues had to do with immaturity and not understanding what it takes for a successful marriage...
Author CM2009 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 For some women it will be a dealbreaker, for some it won't. It's best to find out early before you waste a lot of time on someone who thinks it's a dealbreaker, so I say put it out right away. Unless you're a jerk, there's not point in trying to mislead someone. Yeah and that's one thing I don't wanna do is be an butt-hole and mislead anyone cause nothing good can come from that...
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