Lettuce Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I met this older guy through school (he's a teaching associate) and I'm a sophmore. We both play in the college orchestra and hit it off one night while playing at a local pops concert on the beach. He always seemed to be a quiet, private guy but once we started talking, he really opened up. We've been dating about three months, steady and we've even talked about moving in together. He has, up until now, shown all the indications of being Mr. Right. He's courteous, kind,secure, has a great sense of humour and hits all the right buttons. When I went to use his phone this morning to call a friend (my battery was dead) a text message popped up and I opened it 'by accident'. The message said 'Meet at Starbucks tomorrow 7:30a' . Okay, that's pretty meaningless, but then another message came straight after the first from the same number and it went like this 'I meant 7:30PM x' It was the 'x' that got me. Guys don't send x's to each other unless their name is Xylophone. So it has to be from a woman. x means affection. There are no women in his family but it could be a cousin or something. How do I address this? I can't say 'Hey I was looking through your text messages and this one looks like you're having a date with a woman tomorrow night. What's up?' I'll come across as krazy glue girl. So, any suggestions on what to do? I don't want to lose him like this.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Umm...you sound crazy! An x can be alot of things as you've stated, but have you considered that it might be a typo? Why would you assume an " x" automatically means he's cheating unless of course you're using it as a reference for " x marks the spot".
Oxo Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I put an x at the end of most of my texts, regardless who they are to, it's just force of habit. If you're really concerned, ask him how his day was (for the coffee day) and ask if he did anything interesting, or interesting people etc.
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I would ask to see him on the coffee day/time. Say that there is this movie you really wanted to see or something. Then see what he says.
FL Lady Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I would ask to see him on the coffee day/time. Say that there is this movie you really wanted to see or something. Then see what he says. This is a great idea.
Author Lettuce Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 So I asked him, per your advice, if he'd like to meet up to go shopping for a pair of jeans he'd been meaning to get. He said 'sure'. I said, 'what about tonight?' . He said 'Yeah'.- Immediately. 'Sounds great. Let's do it. ' So - looks like the first poster was right. I'm superglue kinda crazy. Whew!
Pfiend101 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I would ask to see him on the coffee day/time. Say that there is this movie you really wanted to see or something. Then see what he says. You women are tricksy.
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 You women are tricksy. We women gotta do what we gotta do Glad it worked out for you OP!
Author Lettuce Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 I just got a call from him. He canceled tonight with me because 'he has to work late'. When I asked him why, he said it just came last minute. He never works late. Now my mind has gone through loops about this. He gets a text message to meet him tonight at 7:30pm, then agrees to meet me at the same time, then cancels on me. Should I confront him? Tell him I read the text message? Or should I go to starbucks at 7:30PM. I really am worried about this.
Pfiend101 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Roll through Starbucks see if you see his vehicle around that time. Good luck.
atlnay Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 How do I address this? You don't. If you saw it by "accident" then you put it out of your mind. Period. So, any suggestions on what to do? I don't want to lose him like this. But now that you've gone down the playing games route, setting up a meeting at the exact time only for him to cancel and I'm sure put you in a panic mode, all you can do is let this game continue to play itself out. He canceled tonight with me because 'he has to work late'. When I asked him why, he said it just came last minute. He never works late. You've only been dating him 3 months, how do you know for sure he never works late? Not saying it's not a suspect excuse, but the slippery slope started when you spied the text, set up a "gotcha" meeting with him and now this. What you CAN do is be honest with him, "Babe, I picked up your cell and saw this message. Does it mean anything?" If this man and you were already planning on living together after 3 perfect months, why on earth can't you be honest and ask him a direct question?
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Didn't a name come up when he received the message? Kinda weird that he doesn't have the person who messaged him in his contacts...
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I just got a call from him. He canceled tonight with me because 'he has to work late'. When I asked him why, he said it just came last minute. He never works late. Now my mind has gone through loops about this. He gets a text message to meet him tonight at 7:30pm, then agrees to meet me at the same time, then cancels on me. Should I confront him? Tell him I read the text message? Or should I go to starbucks at 7:30PM. I really am worried about this. Ok... he Agreed to go with you earlier... which I can assume means he forgot about the 7:30 meeting. I can infer from that it wasn't too important or at the top of his mind. If this text is the ONLY thing that makes you believe he is seeing another woman, then your off the deepend. You realize that if you spend the entire relationship just waiting for the other shoe to drop... your going to force him away.
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