SadandConfusedWA Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I had another date with that OKC guy last night. I felt like it went a lot better than the previous dates. He talked more, even teased me and for the first time I didn't have to think of what to talk about. Time flied and we had fun. We also made out for about 10 minutes post date, on the street However, for the first time he didn't set the next date at the end of this one. He has always done that before. He just said that he will call me. In the past, I can remember dating 2 guys I was attracted to but kind of on the fence about. Then I went on couple of more dates and felt like we clicked. After that date that I felt like we clicked, they both NEVER called again. Hence my fear of never being able to date the guy I actually like. Long story short, he is leaving on a camping trip tonight for 3 days with a group of guys. I want to text him now (keep in mind this guy did 90% of calling and texting in the past), just something like: I had a good time last night and enjoy your trip... Is this chasing and desperate? Should I hold back? Also, there is this fear that he won't respond and I will be anxious about it all day Part of me thinks that it's better to know sooner rather than later.
Pfiend101 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 SEND IT. It lets him know your thinking about him and he will appreciate it.. I'm 100% sure of this.
shadowplay Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 don't send it! let him continue to initiate. I hope you see this in time.
that girl Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Since it will make you anxious if you don't get a response, don't send the text. He is going camping tonight, odds are pretty good he won't have sell coverage. Instead wait until he is definately back and send a "Hope you had fun camping!" text.
Star Gazer Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 After three dates, I'd send that type of text. Nothing desperate about it IMO, as it wouldn't be chasing at all. BUT... I agree with TG that because you'll freak the eff out if you don't get a response, for your own sanity (and ours ), you probably shouldn't...particularly given that he probably won't have cell coverage and/or won't be paying attention to his phone, but his buddies. CHILL, girl. P.S. I'm glad your date went well!
USMCHokie Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Sending the text would be fine, especially if he's been initiating 90% of the past contacts. As a guy, if I have to do most of the early "chasing," it's nice to see when the girl starts ramping up her share of initiating contact. As for being anxious for a response, your text honestly doesn't really warrant a response...what's he going to say...? "Thanks"...? Fire and forget.
Star Gazer Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 As for being anxious for a response, your text honestly doesn't really warrant a response...what's he going to say...? "Thanks"...? Fire and forget. Good point! I've been guilty of sending a text that didn't warrant a response and then freaking out when I didn't get one.
Lakeside_runner Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Nine words: Send it. Don't wait for him to reply.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 Thanks guys... I have sent: "Hey M, I had fun last night. Hope you enjoy the trip and we will catch up later in the week!" He responded 90 minutes later with: "Sounds good [my name] :)" It was kind of short and note that he didn't say that he had fun too (although he did say it verbally at the end of last night). I guess now I chill the f... out and see if he calls after the trip....
TaurusTerp Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Thanks guys... I have sent: "Hey M, I had fun last night. Hope you enjoy the trip and we will catch up later in the week!" He responded 90 minutes later with: "Sounds good [my name] :)" It was kind of short and note that he didn't say that he had fun too (although he did say it verbally at the end of last night). I guess now I chill the f... out and see if he calls after the trip.... Yes, chill and put him out of your mind for the next few days.
Ariadne Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 "Sounds good [my name] :)" It was kind of short and note that he didn't say that he had fun too Isn't this the guy that can only send 20 characters or something?
waynebrady Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 If he's been doing 90% of the calling and texting you should start calling and texting more so it's more like 50/50 or close to it when it comes to who initiates contact. If I'm the one calling/texting almost every time then I'd start to wonder if she really is that into me...
FL Lady Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Good point! I've been guilty of sending a text that didn't warrant a response and then freaking out when I didn't get one. Me too and these communication games drive me nuts. Then when I go back and read the email/texts, I didn't really warrant a response after all.
Eclypse Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Gosh these communication gender role games are the reason most people give up on dating I reckon! When I was in the courting phase with my gf we each started conversations or sent messages whenever we felt like it! So much less stress without all the rules. I reckon whenever you feel like sending a flirty message you should just do it! (although I guess me and my gf showed strong attraction toward each other from day 1)
desertmoon Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 He responded 90 minutes later with: You timed him? It was kind of short and note that he didn't say that he had fun too (although he did say it verbally at the end of last night). If he didn't have fun, he wouldn't have said "sounds good"- I assume that is his response to your "catch up later".... I have to say this is just weird, are you and shadowplay related?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 Oh yeah, I timed him. It was actually 88 minutes but I rounded it up to 90 in an attempt to look less obsessive (I am serious though) And me and Shadow are similar in so many ways, it's pretty surreal
Chocolat Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 (edited) In the past, I can remember dating 2 guys I was attracted to but kind of on the fence about. Then I went on couple of more dates and felt like we clicked. After that date that I felt like we clicked, they both NEVER called again. Hence my fear of never being able to date the guy I actually like. This is "magical" thinking. Try not to do it as it will spoil your fun and make you obsess. This guy is very much enjoying the SAC he's been seeing - don't give in to impulses that will change her! I want to text him now (keep in mind this guy did 90% of calling and texting in the past), just something like: I had a good time last night and enjoy your trip... This is fine. Make it cheery and upbeat! EDIT: Just saw you did it - good for you! Glad it worked out. He is interested - reread his email if you have any doubt. You may be looking for a restatement of his interest but, in his mind, he's already told you and assumes that "sticks." Edited September 19, 2010 by Chocolat
desertmoon Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Oh yeah, I timed him. It was actually 88 minutes but I rounded it up to 90 in an attempt to look less obsessive (I am serious though) At least you think that's funny!!! And me and Shadow are similar in so many ways, it's pretty surreal I'm telling you...lol..
Star Gazer Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Oh yeah, I timed him. It was actually 88 minutes but I rounded it up to 90 in an attempt to look less obsessive (I am serious though) And me and Shadow are similar in so many ways, it's pretty surreal Do you think that's a good thing? Particularly when it comes to obsessing and analyzing like this? Do you think it's healthy and productive? Do you not think that it would be a good idea to develop your own, independent problem solving skills? Isn't this the guy that can only send 20 characters or something? You know, it's only 20cents, but if I told someone that I don't text because it costs be 20cents each time I send or receive a text, and someone continued sending me texts (and intuitively I knew I should respond), I'd start getting irritated.
Crazy Magnet Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I sent my current BF (though not at the time) a Merry Christmas text message and he didn't respond for like four days. It sucked so I feel where you are coming from. Turns out he really didn't have cell reception at his Mom's (I've now been there). Stay busy to keep your mind off the future call/date and him. He will call or not call, but there isn't anything you can do to change that outcome (other than look crazy and scare him off.) Hand in there!
elaina Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Oh yeah, I timed him. It was actually 88 minutes but I rounded it up to 90 in an attempt to look less obsessive (I am serious though) And me and Shadow are similar in so many ways, it's pretty surreal That's great that he responded! Men are mysterious!
CLC2008 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 No that is not chasing! What is so terrible with expressing to him, that you ENJOYED spending time with him and you wish him a good trip? Just do it, and then go eat some Ben and Jerry (or an apple, whichever).
Recommended Posts