newstart85 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I've been talking/dating this guy for 2 months and a half now. He lives 5 hours away and we are 25 years old. When he came to my town, I couldn't meet up with him because of an emergency and I let him know about him. He got really angry saying that I broke a promise and that he cant trust me. I asked him to give me another chance, and he said until he begins to fully trust me again, we're not in a relationship. We still talk everyday, but I'm the one who contacts him for the most part. I'm more affectionate in what I say to him, but hes not anymore and he says he cant until he trusts me again. He tells me to call him yet hes not the first to. I like him a lot and he knows that. He told me he likes me too. I don't know if he likes the attention that I give him and if thats whats making him to continue to talk to me. I'm usually the first to text/call. I asked him if I was bothering him and if he wanted space, in which he replied no and said dont worry. Two days ago I wanted to know how he really felt so I texted him. Me: am I your girlfriend? Him: why are you asking a weird question? Me: that's weird? Him: not until I trust you again.. After that, I didn't reply. He calls me 2 hours later and I tell him I'm going to bed because I'm tired. The next morning he texts me good morning and asks if I slept well. I kept it brief and didn't contact him afterwards and I didn't hear from him as well. The entire day today I didnt contact him but ended up doing so a few minutes ago asking him if he's doing well. He says,"yes and I havent heard from you in awhile. were you hurt/upset?" I said, "yes, a little bit, have a good evening then." he replies back, "sorry." and i didnt say anything afterwards. I was rejected, yes. But what I dont understand is, why he acted like he was interested in me as well by sending me songs, pictures a few days ago. And he keeps checking my blog like 2-3 times a day. Why?
naya1 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 no hes too immature , cannot forgive and looks like he holds grudges. give him a tissue for his issues.
Viva Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I don't like the way he's coming off to you. You shouldn't be with this person, you are wasting your time because 1) He's not putting no real 'boyfriend' effort on his part and 2) This should be clear, you are obviously not happy because you are stating that you're the one putting practically all the effort just to even contact him and if you weren't thinking about this stuff then you'd probably would have said to yourself that you don't mind it. But that's not the case, you do mind it. I really don't want to come off mean, I'm really sweet but you need to hear truth. Tell him (never through text) that this relationship is at it's end and that you need to move on because you're just not feeling the connection, it's not working out for you. He's a grown man and can take care of himself. Don't sugarcoat, doesn't really help.
that girl Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 He sounds childish. A legit emergency negates a broken promise. Unless he didn't consider the emergency a real emergency (like your bff was just dumped and you needed to be with her but he'd travelled 5 hours), I'm surprised you went along with his punishing behavior. Because that is what he is doing- trying to punish you. He won't say you're in a relationship, he waits for you to call, he isn't affectionate. Whatever happens, this kind of behavior will come up again. You can address it by making your expectations clear and he either mans up or walks away. Or you can just end things. But I don't think you should put up with this.
mortensorchid Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 No honey, this is a red flag. Whatever the situation was that lead to these things will only lead to further heartache. Get out now while you still can and hopefully not be hurt / bitter for too long.
FL Lady Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 No honey, this is a red flag. Whatever the situation was that lead to these things will only lead to further heartache. Get out now while you still can and hopefully not be hurt / bitter for too long. Amen! This guy sounds really immature and like a real PIA. Get out while you're ahead. What an emotional drag and headache.
ViciousViolet Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 It's not going to work. Time to move on. I'm not sure what type of emergency this was, but I'd, too, be pissed if I traveled 5 hours and found out that the person couldn't meet me. However, I wouldn't punish the person for that. If it were a life or death thing, I'd definitely let it go and would be concerned about the person. If it were something that I didn't consider a "real emergency" like you had to babysit or something, I'd just break up.
desertmoon Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 give him a tissue for his issues. ...indeed.. OP, like the other posters I too think he is immature-and playing games. Call him and tel him that you are not willing to hang around and be punished. Move on.
Philetus Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 He sounds childish. +1. Is he 25 or two and a half? You pursue him with your apologies and he punishes you. You pull back and he comes after you now that he realizes he may lose you. That behaviour will continue. Find someone more mature unless you're really into him.
Lost Fish Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Wow, you posted this in 3 different forums. I'm also shocked how everyone here is ignoring the OP's games. See a different, realistic viewpoint here in our replies in the Breaking Up forum: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3004327#post3004327
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