Mangomonkey Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 So how would you feel if someone asked you to sign one?
denise_xo Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 So how would you feel if someone asked you to sign one? I would feel that I'm dealing with a responsible person.
GooseChaser Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I'm young and don't know a lot about pre-nups. Does the couple just come to an agreement on certain terms they want to agree to, like a contract? I think as long as the conditions were fair, I wouldn't mind signing one, if it made my partner happy. For example, I could sign over the rights of his income to him so he wouldn't have to split it 50-50 in the case of a divorce. I wouldn't mind that. It seems like a smart thing to do.
sweetjasmine Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Depends on the situation. If neither one of us has any real assets, it'd be totally pointless, and I'd think he doesn't trust me if he wants a pre-nup to protect all of his nothing from me. If one of us has significant assets, and the other doesn't, I'd be open to writing a pre-nup. If both of us have significant assets, I'd be open to writing a pre-nup. But it also depends on how he approaches the situation. If he absolutely demanded one, I'd probably tell him to shove it, especially if he had no assets of significant worth. If he didn't have anything to his name, I'd be insulted by his demanding a pre-nup and would consider it a sign of deep mistrust. On the other hand, if he wanted to discuss it and said he thought it would be a wise thing to do, I'd probably agree, if one or both of us had significant assets.
Rorschach Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I'm young and don't know a lot about pre-nups. Does the couple just come to an agreement on certain terms they want to agree to, like a contract? I think as long as the conditions were fair, I wouldn't mind signing one, if it made my partner happy. For example, I could sign over the rights of his income to him so he wouldn't have to split it 50-50 in the case of a divorce. I wouldn't mind that. It seems like a smart thing to do. Pre-nups basically say 'anything you had before we got married is yours, anything you get while we're married is ours', it prevents somebody from marrying you, then divorcing you a week later and taking half your stuff, even the stuff you earned long before you met them. As the owner of a small business I would refuse to get married without a prenup, the business I've worked my blood and sweat into is not going to be split down the middle due to a bad relationship. Then again I don't plan on marrying anybody before taking a long time to think on it, so it shouldn't make a difference anyway. But still, for those of us who work hard to better their position in life, it's a necessity.
AverageJoe Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Depends on the situation. If neither one of us has any real assets, it'd be totally pointless, and I'd think he doesn't trust me if he wants a pre-nup to protect all of his nothing from me. So what you are saying is, this is the most either of you will ever amount to in life? This is the best or the most you will ever be or acomplish? Thats my thought on that comment. Assets or not, a pre-nup is manditory if I want to get married. Sorry to dent your ego but it has nothing to do with you. Its the court system I dont trust.
Lemontang Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Yep I'm all for pre-nups. I learn't the hard way twice. 1st time round cost me $65,000 and a 6 month old car, but I wasn't too annoyed about that, we brought a house together and she simply got what she put in back, so was pretty fair. She would have gotten more if we sold it but it was my parents original house and she understood that and was fine about it and to this day we're best of friends. 2nd time around a girl moved in with me with her child, needless to say things didn't work out after living with me for 2 years, but she wanted half the house even though she never paid any bills let alone the mortgage (In Australia if you live with someone in a defacto relationship your entitled to half their assents). After a lot of work and discussions with lawyers I lost $25,000 to her, so got off better than most would. Granted it worked in my favor since she decided to drop it considering she's an alcoholic that slept around behind my back repeatedly and she didn't want it becoming public especially to her family. So having experienced what happens without a pre-nup I'd strongly recommend doing one in future.
aerogurl87 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Depends, if he's a multi millionaire or going to be the heir to a substantial inheritance, it makes sense. But if he's broke or making average, then I wouldn't even consider marrying him. Also it depends on how the issue is raised. If he were to ask in a way that didn't imply there was a trust issue and were to let me be hands on in drafting the prenup, I would be happy. But if he were to come at me with a predrawn prenup, say "sign here", without even letting me look at it, then once again no wedding.
AverageJoe Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 But if he's broke or making average, then I wouldn't even consider marrying him. Gentlemen, exhibit A.
yah Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I'd sign it but I'd include a lot of conditions into the written agreement.
tami-chan Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 So how would you feel if someone asked you to sign one? Will sign right away...! no problem!
tami-chan Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Sad fact is that unlike other contracts, family courts will throw out pre-nups entirely for the slightest reasons, so they are usually worth the price of the paper they are written on, nothing more. Judges have WAY too much power in domestic courts in the U.S. Oh ...I thought that was a pre-nup that you made me sign the other day? Didn't read it-I trust (ed) you!
aerogurl87 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Gentlemen, exhibit A. I think your taking what I said out of context. I mean if he's broke or making average AND asks me to sign a prenup, then no I won't marry him. If a broke guy tells me he wants me to sign a prenup and he has no assets to speak of, then obviously there are trust issues. I'm not marrying someone who doesn't trust me. My boyfriend makes average and I have every intention to marry him one day.
AverageJoe Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I think I remember a story a while back when Nick Lechey (sp?) and Jessica Simpson were about to get married. He asked her to sign a pre-nup, she refused. Turns out later on during the separation, when they finally got to the divorce hearing she made much more money than he did. He ended up getting alimony from HER. This is unheard of, although if she had only signed that pre-nup she would have been ok. Ah the irony.
yah Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I think I remember a story a while back when Nick Lechey (sp?) and Jessica Simpson were about to get married. He asked her to sign a pre-nup, she refused. Turns out later on during the separation, when they finally got to the divorce hearing she made much more money than he did. He ended up getting alimony from HER. This is unheard of, although if she had only signed that pre-nup she would have been ok. Ah the irony. ^ exactly. Who's to say I wouldn't come out ahead with a pre-nup if I (heaven-forbid) got a divorce? That's why I'd sign it.
AverageJoe Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I think your taking what I said out of context. I mean if he's broke or making average AND asks me to sign a prenup, then no I won't marry him. If a broke guy tells me he wants me to sign a prenup and he has no assets to speak of, then obviously there are trust issues. I'm not marrying someone who doesn't trust me. My boyfriend makes average and I have every intention to marry him one day. I dont know that I did, thats exactly what you said. However, I will give you the benefit of the doubt in regards to your response. So you want to marry your loser boyfriend that has no aspirations, no goals in life just a vanilla existence. You seem fine with that. I suppose that is ok, I can always use someone to change my oil. I dont care if you only have two nickles to rub together right now, what I see is someone that has settled for being a loser for the rest of their life. My guess is, if he did turn out to be a hard worker, successful and wealthy beyond his dreams, you would want half. Nothing entitles you to that. But lawyers will try to say they want part of your future earnings. Outrageous.
Woggle Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I think I remember a story a while back when Nick Lechey (sp?) and Jessica Simpson were about to get married. He asked her to sign a pre-nup, she refused. Turns out later on during the separation, when they finally got to the divorce hearing she made much more money than he did. He ended up getting alimony from HER. This is unheard of, although if she had only signed that pre-nup she would have been ok. Ah the irony. I love it when a man gets over in divorce court like that.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I think your taking what I said out of context. I mean if he's broke or making average AND asks me to sign a prenup, then no I won't marry him. If a broke guy tells me he wants me to sign a prenup and he has no assets to speak of, then obviously there are trust issues. I'm not marrying someone who doesn't trust me. My boyfriend makes average and I have every intention to marry him one day. Wait.... wait... wait! If a guy has 2million and you take half... he still has 1 million. If a guy has 50,000 and you take half... he moves back in with his parents. A guy or girl who is making average can have just as much to lose. Also consider the possibility that he/she may stand to inherit property or some such. Even if it's a double wide in Kentucky... doesn't he/she have a right to protect it?
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 If a guy has 2million and you take half... he still has 1 million. How is it that a woman just takes half ?.. have you any idea about marriage laws and divorce ? If a guy has 2 million and he marries a woman for 2 years and they divorce the chances are he will still have 2 million less maybe the marital property that was accumulated during the marriage and in that case what she gets in the divorce was never all his to begin with so he didn't lose anything that was his.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 How is it that a woman just takes half ?.. have you any idea about marriage laws and divorce ? If a guy has 2 million and he marries a woman for 2 years and they divorce the chances are he will still have 2 million less maybe the marital property that was accumulated during the marriage and in that case it never was all his to begin with so he didn't lose anything that was his. I've been divorced I know how it works. I'm just using simple numbers to illustrate a point. If they both make the same amount and there are no kids then chances are there will be no alimony or anything like that. I've heard lawyers say alimony is kind of on the way out. It's not as common as it used to be and doesn't last as long.
AverageJoe Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Even if it's a double wide in Kentucky... doesn't he/she have a right to protect it? Thats funny I was just in Louisville, KY Sunday and I have to tell you that some of the double wides I saw were suprisingly damn nice. The real estate they were setting on alone was high dollar.
Rorschach Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I've heard horror stories from friends I work with, where one partner (sorry ladies, but usually the man in the stories I've heard) makes many times what the other makes (say a difference like he makes a million a year, and she makes 50,000) and after the divorce the partner who made less gets ginormous checks from the partner who made more. Even more so when kids are involved. These stories scare the bejeezum out of me.
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 These stories scare the bejeezum out of me. Not that divorce nightmares don't happen but you really need to keep those kind of stories in perspective.. You hear only one side and unless you saw the court documents what happened was most likely on the whole fair and the person is just bitter and acting out when they tell the fish stories.. and child support.. any man who doesn't think he should support his child fully is an ass.. You try and support a child on 300-400 a month.. it takes more than most child support payments to raise a child..
AverageJoe Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 If a guy has 2 million and he marries a woman for 2 years and they divorce the chances are he will still have 2 million less maybe the marital property that was accumulated during the marriage and in that case what she gets in the divorce was never all his to begin with so he didn't lose anything that was his. What case law have you been studying? You know damn well the laws and decisions for the most part always favor the female.
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 What case law have you been studying? You know damn well the laws and decisions for the most part always favor the female. The laws in my state and really most but not all will only consider marital property for division. In my state I kept everything I had before the marriage.. everything.. including my companies, properties and investments... The only thing that was considered was any property acquired during the 5 year marriage.. That was divided along the 50/50 line.. She also got to keep everything that was hers before the marriage..
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