Author GooseChaser Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 You have to be an object of desire. Someone he wants. Someone he feels lucky to have. I think most men (and this is certainly true of me) when dating are 'auditioning' women. Looking for the best one they can get. If someone falls in our lap too easily we immediately start wondering, 'well who ELSE can I get that's better?' Over my past relationships, if I felt that I had the upper hand (i.e. she was luckier to be with me than vice versa) then that woman would become a FWB or someone I saw casually. They weren't relationship material. When someone came along and I felt that I was the lucky one, I pursued her like mad. Some of the things that made these women attractive to me aren't universal, not all men like these things. Others are things you can't change about yourself, for example they all had a keen, sarcastic sense of humour. Those tangible things that I'm drawn to. However, there are some practical things these women did/do that I can pass on if it helps - caveat, these are things I like. They did things that were sexy, alluring, mysterious. Here are some things that women did that I really liked. - leaving their underwear at home and telling me as we're walking out the door. - wearing sexy clothes and telling me it was just for me. - a sexy text/email. One women sent me a text at lunch saying, "I've been thinking about giving you a bj all morning, and I've been up since 5am. (gulp!) - crazy flirting in public. (eye contact, kissing, hand brushing the inner thigh, a little dirty talk) - mad skillz in the bedroom. So start working on those Kegels. BUT... you can't appear to available. You need to have your own thing, be aloof or appear to have other things going on. As if you're saying, "I don't really need to be with you." You want to be a commodity, something he's after. You want him thinking about you and what you COULD be doing. Think of it this way. When I didn't own a Xbox, I would go out of my way to play it. As soon as I bought one, and had 24 hour access to it, it just sat on my shelf, unused. Be the unpurchased Xbox. So a person should aim to be seen as valuable and desirable. Oh yeah, I was also considering buying some lingerie to wear for him; I bet he'd like that.... The "crazy flirting in public" sounds fun, and the publicness of it could add some excitement too. Yes, I believe in having my own life and staying busy. No worries there! So, available, but not too available. Never desperate. Nice and patient. That was thought-provoking, thank you!
phineas Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Where are good places to touch, in public? Ones that they like but aren't too private of areas? I take it getting these guy or guys one-on-one is no problem? For starters compliment them. Walk close enough to them to occasionally bump shoulders. If they shy away or say something their not interested or not getting the message. If they don't say a thing allow it to keep happening their probably thinking "hmmm". Standing room only concerts are great places. Because you need to stand close to him in order to not get lost in the crowd & you have to lean really close in order to talk to him. sometimes REALLY close. He should recognize that sign but will probably be confused if you told him you wanted to be friends at first. If he doesn't make a move but goes out a 2nd time he's probably figured it out but waiting to see if you act the same way again because women will go hot & cold on a guy in your situation for some reason which just confuses us even more.
Author GooseChaser Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 I take it getting these guy or guys one-on-one is no problem? For starters compliment them. Walk close enough to them to occasionally bump shoulders. If they shy away or say something their not interested or not getting the message. If they don't say a thing allow it to keep happening their probably thinking "hmmm". Standing room only concerts are great places. Because you need to stand close to him in order to not get lost in the crowd & you have to lean really close in order to talk to him. sometimes REALLY close. He should recognize that sign but will probably be confused if you told him you wanted to be friends at first. If he doesn't make a move but goes out a 2nd time he's probably figured it out but waiting to see if you act the same way again because women will go hot & cold on a guy in your situation for some reason which just confuses us even more. Yes, in fact, my guy jumps at opportunities to spend time alone with me. He's not complaining. Oh yeah, stay close! Get into that intimate area of their personal space bubble! Another good idea!
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