weeble78 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Hey guys! Ok, so I'm looking for opinions on how much you should be there if your OH is sick. I've been off work for just over a week with a nasty virus which could leave a nerve in my face impaired. I have few friends/family who live in the area. I have a BF of 10 months who lives down the road. As soon as I found out what was wrong with me, he came over and stayed the first two nights and days. Then, that weekend, there was a big show we were supposed to be going to but obviously I couldn't go so he went alone. He's stayed with me 2 nights out of 5 and I've chilled at his house once. He's popping round tonight and then going out Saturday night with friends. I guess I just wanted peoples' opinions. As we've only been together a while (although talked about marriage etc), and when we recently discussed moving in together and he got a bit weird about it so I've now banned talking about it, I'm just wondering if perhaps he should be spending a little more time with me. It's important to me because in my last R when I was very ill for an extended period of time, my ex used to deliberately go out for days on end and would ignore phonecalls from me - even when I needed help getting food etc. I guess with the strangeness of the moving in thing I'm feeling a little insecure. what does anyone think?
Stung Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Honestly this sounds fine to me. You've spent 3 nights together out of 5, he's coming by again tomorrow, right? Not round-the-clock Florence Nightengale, but that sounds reasonably attentive and concerned. When he comes over, does he ask how you are, offer to make tea, help you get groceries and medicine, keep you company, stuff like that? If he does, he sounds like a good guy and a keeper and nothing like your ex. If he is coming over to watch your tv and eat your food and ignoring you wheezing feebly in the corner begging for water and a blanket, obviously that's another story. I'm sure it's an unpleasant virus and you feel awful and are worried about the nerve, but it's not like you were stricken with something terminal and if you're well enough to get to your computer and post (and if you were well enough to go to his place one night) it's unlikely you need 24-hr assistance and catering. I do hope you feel better soon and have no complications from your virus. Good luck.
EasyHeart Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 When I read your post, I thought you were going to complain about him smothering you! To me, it sounds like he is spending an awful lot of time with you. When I'm sick, I want to be left alone.
CLC2008 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Honestly this sounds fine to me. You've spent 3 nights together out of 5, he's coming by again tomorrow, right? Not round-the-clock Florence Nightengale, but that sounds reasonably attentive and concerned. When he comes over, does he ask how you are, offer to make tea, help you get groceries and medicine, keep you company, stuff like that? If he does, he sounds like a good guy and a keeper and nothing like your ex. If he is coming over to watch your tv and eat your food and ignoring you wheezing feebly in the corner begging for water and a blanket, obviously that's another story. I'm sure it's an unpleasant virus and you feel awful and are worried about the nerve, but it's not like you were stricken with something terminal and if you're well enough to get to your computer and post (and if you were well enough to go to his place one night) it's unlikely you need 24-hr assistance and catering. I do hope you feel better soon and have no complications from your virus. Good luck. I agree. OP, he really has been there for you and with you since you've been sick, so I think you might just be feeling a bit vulnerable due to past circumstances.
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