Confused100 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 So, I know how I can work on becoming less shy and meeting more women. I've already asked on here and have gotten some great responses. However, I have another question that I don't know how to tackle. So far in life, it's been rare for me to really fall for someone, but when I do, I do so extremely quickly and it's not like it's a small infatuation. They become all that I can think about. I even start thinking about how great it'd be to spend my life with them--and I haven't even started dating them yet! How the heck do I stop myself from falling so desperately for people like this? My second question is on my fear of abandonment. I'm not entirely sure why I have this fear, but it's certainly there. When I get attached to someone, I am extremely scared that they'll leave my life. If they don't respond to a text or a message, I'll assume the worst and figure that they don't care anymore. Invariably, I'm sure this behavior causes the very person to become distant. What can I do to work on this? I feel like these are two areas I'm going to have to work on to form a successful relationship in the future... especially the fear of abandonment problem.
Bogo123 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 You're coming from a scarcity mindset. Do you date often and generally do well with women? If not, then the reason you fall for them quickly is because it doesn't happen very often so when it does happen, its a big change in your life and so you think about it 24/7. Its a great feeling, but unhealthy and unrealistic. The fear of abandonment is your fear that you won't find another quality woman if it doesn't work out. Once you reach your full potential and your game is polished, you will realize that any girl can be easily replaced. Once you reach this indifference, you shouldn't have that problem.
BHR Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I do the exect same thing as the poster, dont get many opportunities to date and if i actually like the girl im with shes all i think about. its a miserable way to be and truthfully you will drive people away like that, i can tell you this from personal experience.
Author Confused100 Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 You're coming from a scarcity mindset. Do you date often and generally do well with women? If not, then the reason you fall for them quickly is because it doesn't happen very often so when it does happen, its a big change in your life and so you think about it 24/7. Its a great feeling, but unhealthy and unrealistic. The fear of abandonment is your fear that you won't find another quality woman if it doesn't work out. Once you reach your full potential and your game is polished, you will realize that any girl can be easily replaced. Once you reach this indifference, you shouldn't have that problem. No to both. I haven't really had any success with women so far. I hope you're right. I have a new strategy, if you will, for trying to meet women now. With the new school year starting, I'm hoping I can get more experience. I hadn't thought that more experience would stem both problems, but it does make some sense.
Recommended Posts