LDR bf has a new female best friend in Army

[madjac74]

Well this is how I found out about my ex-wifes emotional cheating. I paid the cell phone bill. And I never bothered to look at the numbers until one time it was 3 times the amount it usually was. And these were phone calls and well the rest is history.

 

But you do have reason to be concerned if their texts are that frequent. I mentioned my female friends before...we text to see how things are going and if we are making plans we will text details and such. There are sometimes days we could go without texting. My gf is the one i text morning til night.

 

I certainly hope Im wrong but this would play into amerikajins view of crossing the friend boundaries

[chelle21689]

Actually, I looked at his phone history again. She's not the only person he texted often. There were other people...I guess since I recognized her number it stood out and when I clicked it it looked bad that it was for many hours.

 

Looking through it again, I see there was different people he texted for a long ass time. Now I'm curious who these people are cuz they're from all over the U.S... lol. Well his only friends he's made are Army people from everywhere...so Idk. Though, it makes me feel better to know she's not the only person he texts a lot.

Edited October 1, 2010 by chelle21689

[aerogurl87]

I'd be a bit worried to be honest. Ok so you see he's been texting lots of people all the time, but her number still stood out. To me that is a minor flag that would require my attention. I barely text anyone aside from the 3 hour long convos my sister and I sometimes have. Most of my texting is to my boyfriend who texts lots of people. But still what stands out on his bill, texts to me (as his dad pointed out when telling me about how I ran up his phone bill our first month together ).

 

If this still bothers you do not dust it under the rug. Keep it in mind and watch for other signs that they may be getting too close.

[madjac74]

Though, it makes me feel better to know she's not the only person he texts a lot.

 

Still he is texting her for this many hours...its one thing if you are busy and he decides to talk to a friend but guess what? If I have that much time, I'm texting my girlfriend! For all we know he could be talking about you...but why do that when he could talk to you?! Are you busy during these times?

[amerikajin]

So I asked him and tried not to argue...I was afraid to bring this up because we have been doing really great for the past month and half. I didn't want to ruin it...so his explanation? Since she was at Airborne school first, he wanted to know everything that was going on when he got there and that texts messages are short and aren't full blown conversations...that's why there's more messages.

 

I asked him if he's sure that they aren't attracted eachother because they force that upon themselves from leaving a current relationship. Of course we all know his answer to that. Then he told me that he can't explain every little thing that will happen and for me to be careful to not damage our relationship out of suspicion.

 

I don't know whether to believe him or not. I guess it's better than phone calls right? I mean, I'm the only person he talks to forever on the phone...

 

*Sigh* Things have been great...why did this happen.

 

I think this is the key here. How does he treat you compared to her? If you're the person he calls and he doesn't do that with others, then I would leave it at that for now. But I would personally not be texting any girl that much. I email other female colleagues of mine at work, but it's about work-related topics only, using the employer's email network. I don't think I've ever once texted a woman about personal matters. I have female friends with whom I communicate once in a while, but it's once in a while, not all the time. I think it's disrespectful to do something like that when you know how it could be perceived.

[chelle21689]

On his phone calls, I see my number taking up all the pages and very lengthy phone calls between me and him. Most of his phone calls to other people are a minute long and sometimes 15-20 minutes. Looking at the messages, I noticed hers because I knew her phone number by heart and that's why it stood out and I think that I was too focused on her that I was ignoring the other numbers. If I could, I'd give you guys the account to look at it...but I mean, should I question the other two people he texted all day too? She wasn't the only one. It's kind of crazy to say that he'd be emotionally cheating on me with 2 other people lol. But they didn't end up texting often until she went away to Airborne school. When my boyfriend was visiting me, when we were playing around I took his phone and ran off with it and locked myself in my room lol and looked through his messages between him and her. I didn't find anything inappropriate. She texted him about how everyone she knew was gone (my bf visiting me, her sister in boot camp, her fiance in iraq, and her other guy friend stationed somewhere else) and that she was jealous of my bf visiting me and that she would "chop innocent cute babies faces to see her fiance again". So..I'm really hoping that they aren't crossing the lines.

 

I can't say that I'm not going to fully trust their friendship. I would never fully trust a girl with my bf unless she was a good friend of mine or if they were like family to me. I'm always gonna have an eye out just in case. Honestly, I can't wait till her fiance comes back so they can get freaking married and her transfer near his unit.

Edited October 1, 2010 by chelle21689

[chelle21689]

OMG!! LMAO...

 

So the other number I saw with a loooong list. I thought it was a girl...I looked up the cell phone number reversal online and paid some money. Apparently, the results show that the number belongs to a guy. =\ Odd..lol so he's texting some guy all day, I guess I gotta worry if he's gay now lol

 

I tried to find who this person was since I had their last name...but there's no one on his facebook with the name of Lewis. Or maybe it's the girl's dad's #? Idk. I tried calling the number but I never get an answer it goes to voicemail.. This person lives across the country..

Edited October 2, 2010 by chelle21689

[LisaLee]

OK, Chelle, I think maybe it's time to back off the call log? If you trust him and you're ok with him texting this girl there's no reason to go through all the other numbers. You might be setting a bad pattern for yourself, and inadvertently creating trust issues.

[chelle21689]

I know I posted something like this about 3 pages back about my bf having a "best friend" in the army that is female.

 

I don't think anything is going on between them although I worry that something COULD happen just because the fact she's a female and he's a male. We're both in serious relationships, they don't do anything inappropriate. Is it reasonable for me to worry constantly about their relationship about how she's his only friend and close friend?

 

when they were in airborne school together, my bf hung out with her still which did not bother me. But the fact that he made some new guy friends there and they all hung out made me happy that it wasn't "Him and Her" but "Him and friends" if you know what I mean.

 

yesterday he said she's his best friend in the army and I got extremely jealous at the term "best friend". I feel like I'm supposed to be his best. I feel jealous I can't be there for him in any way but she can (like hanging out, doing favors, etc).

 

if I were there, then I'd be okay with it because I'm included and I know I'm the one that he's hanging with most of the time.

 

 

I know my bf goes through "phases" with friends...where he makes a really good friend for a couple years maybe more and then drift because of situations that occur in life...life changes. He'd spend all his time with them, but they were all guys and this one is female. So basically he does almost everything he does with his guy friends with her but it just bothers me because she is female.

 

My question is, is that unreasonable just cuz she's female? Even though I trust him not to sleep or do anything physical w/ her?

[madjac74]

I know I posted something like this about 3 pages back about my bf having a "best friend" in the army that is female.

 

I don't think anything is going on between them although I worry that something COULD happen just because the fact she's a female and he's a male. We're both in serious relationships, they don't do anything inappropriate. Is it reasonable for me to worry constantly about their relationship about how she's his only friend and close friend?

 

when they were in airborne school together, my bf hung out with her still which did not bother me. But the fact that he made some new guy friends there and they all hung out made me happy that it wasn't "Him and Her" but "Him and friends" if you know what I mean.

 

yesterday he said she's his best friend in the army and I got extremely jealous at the term "best friend". I feel like I'm supposed to be his best. I feel jealous I can't be there for him in any way but she can (like hanging out, doing favors, etc).

 

if I were there, then I'd be okay with it because I'm included and I know I'm the one that he's hanging with most of the time.

 

 

I know my bf goes through "phases" with friends...where he makes a really good friend for a couple years maybe more and then drift because of situations that occur in life...life changes. He'd spend all his time with them, but they were all guys and this one is female. So basically he does almost everything he does with his guy friends with her but it just bothers me because she is female.

 

My question is, is that unreasonable just cuz she's female? Even though I trust him not to sleep or do anything physical w/ her?

 

You contradict yourself so much. You TRUST him but it bothers you cuz she is female and something COULD happen. If we constantly worry about what COULD happen rather than what HAS NOT happened then I can see why you are going insane. Here is something to throw you off. He could have a male friend and he COULD sleep with him. Just saying