U1987 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I'd appreciate some input specifically from the ladies on this forum. I'm worried that my original thread was too vague, so I'll ask more specifically. Ladies. Which is less attractive to you? A guy who's a loner, or a guy whose all his friends are really nerdy and socially awkward?
USMCHokie Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I just don't understand these kinds of threads...where you take two negatives and ask which one is worse...here's an idea, don't be a loner and don't have awkward friends...do some social networking and meet some new people...that way you turn what was once two negatives into one positive... And stop f'in whining about this and do something about it...seriously... stop making excuses for yourself and your own G.D. laziness...
GooseChaser Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 It could be possible that neither would bother me, but it depends. Maybe the guy's friends are nerdy or awkward, but the question is, what is MY guy like? Also, if a guy is a loner and happy that way, it wouldn't be an issue either, as long as it wasn't really extreme. After all, he's social enough to be interested in me.
Eeyore79 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Neither would really bother me tbh, as long as he was happy with his situation, and was nice to me and fun to be with.
Anela Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I can't see why either of them would be an issue.
Woggle Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 They would rather have the nerdy friends because then they can cut them out of his life while a loner is hard to change.
Mutant Debutante Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I guess it depends on just how socially awkward his friends are. And are they his friends because HE'S totally socially awkward too. But basically I just concentrate on staying away from the guys with the douchebag frat boy friends, 'cause that's a REAL red flag.
GooseChaser Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 They would rather have the nerdy friends because then they can cut them out of his life while a loner is hard to change. Ouch, haha. x] Well, they could also see the awkward and nerdy friends as charming in a way.
Author U1987 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 I can't see why either of them would be an issue. I spoke about a few of them in my previous thread. One of my friends is one of those amateur martial-artists who always wants to show everyone his "killer new move," even though no-one wants to partake because he either breaks something or hurts them/himself while doing it. I've had to threaten him with a BB gun to get him to back down once. Another friend is one of those guys who'll repeat the same joke over and over and over again every five minutes for a week. Another has a mild form of schizophrenia. He imagines objects flying at or falling on him occasionally. Whenever he has one of these hallucinations from time to time, he flinches or ducks to avoid this imaginary object coming at him and will usually get strange looks from everyone nearby. I've told him to play it off by saying he felt a fly or bee buzz by his ear, but he'll bluntly explain to people that he has schizophrenia. Like I said, it's good he's not ashamed but I wish he'd understand that that's far too personal to reveal to people he's just met. Another friend is Italian American. Instead of resenting the Mafia stereotype, he relishes it and tries to act Mafioso and speak like Joe Pesci or Al Paccino or Marlen Brando. It's funny in small bits and pieces time and again, but really annoying when it's all the damn time. Another friend is really obsessed with Magic Cards. A girl once asked me what Magic is and I told her "It's like Pokemon, but for adults." But he actually got into a heated angry rant saying "No! What are you talking about! It's nothing like Pokemon at all!" and so on and so forth. My friends have also spilled drinks on girls I was talking to on more than one occasion, bored them by going on and on and on about their interests to her or made her uncomfortable by asking odd or personal questions too early. I really feel like I've lost a lot of dates because of them sometimes.
Author U1987 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 I guess it depends on just how socially awkward his friends are. And are they his friends because HE'S totally socially awkward too. I have my goof-ball moments from time to time, but they're deliberate and few and far between. For example, if I'm with someone I'm comfortable speaking too and I'm telling a story about something funny that happened, I'll speak one sentence somewhere in there in Old English, but with a California/Surfer accent. I was a really nerdy in high school but when I went off to college, I had to separate from them. I dropped my bad habits and really improved for the better. I believe it because of the girls I've dated, and the number of girls I talk to regularly. Some of my friends, on the other hand, rarely interact with girls at all; 2 of them have actually never had girlfriends ever. I can tell how far I've come from them when I look on the experiences we've hung out together and there were girls present.
Cee Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 If this was a comedy, then Id say your gfriend would learn to love your friends and her hot friends would hook up with them at the close of the movie. If your friends are caring and have big hearts, she'll see their good sides. It could be worse. My ex had a friend who bragged about participating in group sex, which sounded like a gang rape. I became hysterical because I realized my ex was sick to have a friend like that. If your friends are good ppl, just warn your date they are odd, but have big hearts.
flying Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 If your friends are good ppl, just warn your date they are odd, but have big hearts. I think there's truth to this...I mean, they're your friends, right? So they must have their good points. I personally wouldn't be turned off by a guy with nerdy friends. BUT...if he always put them down and talked smack about them, and yet still hung out with them, that would be kind of a yellow flag to me. So I guess one question is, are you still friends with them because you don't have anyone else? Or because you actually like them?? And finally...a lot depends on the kind of women you're looking to date, too.
Knittress Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 They would rather have the nerdy friends because then they can cut them out of his life while a loner is hard to change. Gross! Someone who tells you who you can and can't have in your life is nobody you want to date. I'm something of an awkward nerdy loner myself, so I'm not one to judge - but I can't stand misanthropy and there is such a thing as 'too nerdy.'
Swimie Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Providing I genuinely liked the guy, I'd try to look past either.... HOWEVER, I've never actually met a true & legit loner. . . Also, a loner wanting to date kinda negates the fact he's a loner. AMIRIGHT ?
Mutant Debutante Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 IDK, you and your friends sound more like weirdos than total societal rejects. I mean "weirdo" in a good way, like quirky and freaky and interesting...sort of endearingly odd...although that martial arts guy should not be laying hands on people. Some people consider some of my friends odd, too. We're mostly kind of artsy and indie and into avante garde. So I guess it really considers what kind of girl you're looking for...princesses will be turned off by your weirdo friends, yeah. Geek girls and punk girls probably won't care or will at least give you a chance.
jadedone Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I have my goof-ball moments from time to time, but they're deliberate and few and far between. For example, if I'm with someone I'm comfortable speaking too and I'm telling a story about something funny that happened, I'll speak one sentence somewhere in there in Old English, but with a California/Surfer accent. I was a really nerdy in high school but when I went off to college, I had to separate from them. I dropped my bad habits and really improved for the better. I believe it because of the girls I've dated, and the number of girls I talk to regularly. Some of my friends, on the other hand, rarely interact with girls at all; 2 of them have actually never had girlfriends ever. I can tell how far I've come from them when I look on the experiences we've hung out together and there were girls present. elaborate on bad habits? Being nerdy and having nerd interests like Star Trek are not bad habits.
somedude81 Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Providing I genuinely liked the guy, I'd try to look past either.... HOWEVER, I've never actually met a true & legit loner. . . Also, a loner wanting to date kinda negates the fact he's a loner. AMIRIGHT ? I think I fall in the category of being a legit loner. I'm friendly and sociable when I'm around people but I lack that hook to turn acquaintances into real friends. Aside from when I'm in class, I'm by myself the vast majority of the time. The closest things I had to friends were the girls that I occasionally hung out with and tried to date. Maybe I'll make some friends in college this year, but I don't know if that will happen or not. Hopefully a lack of friends isn't going to affect how a girl sees me. Why should she even care. When we do hang out, it will be just the two of us. And I know better to spend time with a girl and her friends.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 A guy's nerdyass friends are half the fun. But seriously. My first high school boyfriend was stupid hot, and his friends were kinda dweeby. But I actually grew to like them more than him. After I broke up with him, I stayed actual friends with his friends for years. If this was a comedy, then Id say your gfriend would learn to love your friends and her hot friends would hook up with them at the close of the movie. Can't Buy Me Loooo-oooove!
Mad Max Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 My friends are awkward and nerdy, but they're good friends. I actually stand out, but I don't care. If a woman is going to label me because my friends are nutty(which I don't deny), then she isn't worth it anyway.
Pfiend101 Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Why do they care? Social status. Good day sir.
alexlakeman Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I have business acquaintances. We go out to lunch, business meetings, etc. But never to out at night nor weekends. Freinds? None. I have enough wirth family , business acquantances, and my sons. It feels akward at times. Like my ex gf of a year, she assked me once "why don't we ever go out with ur freinds?". Recently I figured when asked that Q again, I'll just say "I don't really have freinds; just business acquaintances. What would you think of a guy like that? Mind you I have no problem hitting happy hour or a party with gf's freinds. Thoughts?
GooseChaser Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Recently I figured when asked that Q again, I'll just say "I don't really have freinds; just business acquaintances. What would you think of a guy like that? Mind you I have no problem hitting happy hour or a party with gf's freinds. Thoughts? Everyone has their own style socially; it's okay to be different, as long as you are happy.
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