kpax Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Whoaa...don't dump what you say is a "lovely guy" over a bad habit that can be changed. Good people are hard to find. I have been lurking here for a few weeks and enjoying the posts but the common denominator here is we are all SINGLE. I wouldn't "next" a great guy without some serious consideration. Sure he has an addiction, but it's not like he is an abusive alchoholic or anything.... First he is right - you did know this when you agreed to go out. Smoking is beyond a bad habit; it's a MAJOR addiction for some. Second you need to express that it is bothering you more than you originally thought. That said, I would like to offer a suggestion/compromise; electronic cigarettes (at least for the time you are together) No, smoke, no smell, no burning, looks just like a cigarette and is battery operated with an LED tip that lights up when you inhale. You exhale what "looks" like smoke but is actually an odorless water vapor. As a 20+ year smoker, I think these things are fantastic. I originally got them to cut down, but like them so much they are all I use now. You can also get hundreds of flavors for the cartridges they use. No more coughing, my sense of smell came back and I have more energy. I can post a link if someone can tell me it's ok. First post here and I don't want to sound like an infomercial...but I just had to suggest this as I "smoke" now with all of my non smoking friends and they are totally cool with it.
BillieD Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 She's a typical woman who thinks a man should drop everything to be worthy of her. I would encourage this man to continue smoking and to hell with you. You knew he smoked, you know it's a dealbreaker and you still got with him. That's your problem, not his, so find someone who isn't a smoker if you can't stand smoking. I smoke occasionally, I enjoy the taste, the feeling of relaxation and I wouldn't give that up for no woman. Women aren't worth such staunch commitment. Yeah, gotta agree with this. Despite being a woman, I am a smoker and no way would I quit for anyone but myself. You did know he smoked beforehand and got into it anyway. Since you don't like it, move on to someone who doesn't smoke. I generally date smokers myself because I do smoke and I want to avoid nagging. We all have our little vices, if someone's vice is a dealbreaker for you then break the deal and move on.
Author mercedesgirl Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Thanks for your replies and opinions. It was interesting that apart from one I think, they were all negative. I have really given this some thought, and I have decided to stay with him and help him with giving up, turn the negative attitude I have towards smoking into a positive. Thanks for your thoughts
donnamaybe Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I have really given this some thought, and I have decided to stay with him and help him with giving up, turn the negative attitude I have towards smoking into a positive. Thanks for your thoughtsBIG mistake. You say "help him with giving up" as if he has indicated to you that he wants to quit. Has he? If not, all this will become is a big contest between the two of you.
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