mercedesgirl Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Hi I have just started seeing this lovely guy. The only problem is, is that he smokes. I hate it, it makes everything smell, him, his clothes, me, my clothes and Im sure its giving me headaches. I have said to him about it, that it bothers me, and he said, that I knew he smoked before we got together! This is absolutely true but since we have been seeing eachother I have become more sensitive to it. Any ideas please?
alexlakeman Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 There are lots of guys that don't smoke... the smell is terrible.. i can't imagine what it must feel like kissing someone who smokes.. the taste, ugghh.. just dump him, or pretty soon you r going to smell like him, so is your place, you'll have cig butts next to your bed, in the bathroom, ... lol time to dump em... good luck
tigressA Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Dump him. Clearly with that "You knew I smoked before we got together" line from him, he isn't willing to drop his habit for you. Not that I'm saying he should. It's only going to become more and more annoying to you, and since it's giving you headaches you could be endangering your health. No guy is worth that, however "lovely" he is.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 It's a deal breaker to me if a woman smokes (tobacco or narcotics). A question might be: is one OK with getting into a relationship with someone with fowl breath? Then how is that any different if the fowl breath is self imposed? (not to mention the health challenege to both in the relationship). Tobacco smoke ages the skin and polutes the body with toxins. Like Hokie says: launch [that sucker].
carhill Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Stop dating him. It's an elemental incompatibility. I had two smokers for parents and know it's one's own decision to quit. My dad quit the day before he died. Let this guy go. There are plenty of compatible non-smokers out there. Good luck
unsure10 Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Hi there my advice to you would be to get rid of him now. Smokers do occassionally quit . . . but very rarely and the men I have known who have still continue to smoke behind their partners backs and usually lie about it. If you are not a smoker then it's even worse . . . he will stink and so will you. You will eventually get used to it and not notice!! Also, long term he will most likely die a good few years before you. My Grandma who has never smoked was just 58 when my Grandad died from bone cancer when he was 62 (he smoked 20 a day for years). She now has scarred lungs and cannot walk far due to passive smoking!! My soon to be ex husband smoked when I met him but promised to quit from day 1 as I let him know I hated it. He quit (told me he had) and smoked cigars all day at work). I would smell it sometimes but he would swear to me on my life he wasn't still smoking . . . he was I caught him red handed . . . I would leave now unless you want to end up smelling like an ashtray, nursing a sick man who looks 20 years older than you. I am biased but smoking is not just a bad habit is wrecks lives.
naya1 Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 i used to smoke since i was in high school, and just stopped a few years ago. i dated smokers too. u cant really make them quit. sad to say..if its a deal breaker for u then i think u have to dump him. it really does stink up ur hair, fingers,clothes..and gives u the risk of having buerger's disease.
aerogurl87 Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Dump him. My ex smoked and I thought I could get over it as he never smoked around me and tried not to smell like it when we were together. But as time wore on, the smell stayed on my clothes, he started to go outside to smoke when we were together for long periods of time (like when I slept over), and after awhile I couldn't take it anymore. Now I'm with a nonsmoker which is 10 times better as I myself hate smoking.
phineas Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 I won't date a smoker because asking someone to quit smoking for you after your with them is pointless. They need to quit for themselves.
Author mercedesgirl Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 does he eat bbq pork? lost me on that one?
K'aycie Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 You should tell him now and break things off, otherwise, you're not being very fair and just leading things on. Everyone has their deal breakers, some would say, a lack of stamina (inside the bedroom/and out)..would be considered one.
atlnay Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Maybe he doesnt like you not smoking....coming around him smeeling all clean, breath all fresh & whatnot...lol...i tease like other poster said, find yourself a lovely nonsmoker.
denise_xo Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Hi Any ideas please? There aren't really any, because it's an addiction that makes one very selfish in relation to other people. The sad truth is that he will choose cigarettes over you. You're going to have to live with it or get out.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Dump him. Clearly with that "You knew I smoked before we got together" line from him, he isn't willing to drop his habit for you. Agreed. My last boyfriend was a smoker when we met. We were both with other people then, so we were just friends. The first time we were both single at the same time, we started flirting. After a couple of weeks of this, he came right out and asked me, "Could you be in a relationship with a smoker?" I said no and explained why. He quit smoking immediately, and we got together not long after that. If he had continued smoking, I would not have dated him. It is true that it would have been a good idea not to get involved with someone with a habit you can't accept, but now that you realize it's a deal breaker, it's time to go.
witabix Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 maybe you can start smoking too? Count on Alpha to see both sides! Err...don't...start smoking. I am a week off them now. So he can quit if he wants to, he just needs to want to.
alphamale Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Count on Alpha to see both sides! well i smoke so i'm biased
lilbunny Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 If it is that much of an issue, why did you start seeing him in the first place? It doesn't sound like you didn't know about it beforehand. You can't expect someone to change because it suits you. I would suggest moving on because you will have the same argument about it over and over again.
Sphere Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 If it is that much of an issue, why did you start seeing him in the first place? It doesn't sound like you didn't know about it beforehand. You can't expect someone to change because it suits you. I would suggest moving on because you will have the same argument about it over and over again. She's a typical woman who thinks a man should drop everything to be worthy of her. I would encourage this man to continue smoking and to hell with you. You knew he smoked, you know it's a dealbreaker and you still got with him. That's your problem, not his, so find someone who isn't a smoker if you can't stand smoking. I smoke occasionally, I enjoy the taste, the feeling of relaxation and I wouldn't give that up for no woman. Women aren't worth such staunch commitment.
witabix Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 1) She's a typical woman who thinks a man should drop everything to be worthy of her. I would encourage this man to continue smoking and to hell with you. You knew he smoked, you know it's a dealbreaker and you still got with him. That's your problem, not his, so find someone who isn't a smoker if you can't stand smoking. I smoke occasionally, I enjoy the taste, the feeling of relaxation and I wouldn't give that up for no woman. Women aren't worth such staunch commitment. You know what I am ****ing furious over this post. And I mean ****ing furious. Sphere, its cool to have your own opinion, I respect that. And you know what, I agree with you. But the point is, and all you unaffected smokers know this, or not as the case may be, but it really is ****, and LS will blank that word out, but it is ****. To wake up in a hospital, after immense and unbearable pain. To see the the fear on the faces of those that love and need you. To try to assuage the fears that they have. To be brave, when your own heart has deserted you, when you are in the throws of your own death vision. When you can happily see yourself die. You great big ****ing coward. And I mean you GREAT BIG ****ING COWARD!!! My kids love me, your kids or family love you too, don't say its your CHOICE! It is ****ING SUICIDE! DO NOT LET SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT CONTINUE TO SMOKE.
Sphere Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 You fear death, that's your problem. I do not fear it? Why? It's envitable and plenty of people die in a horrific fashion regardless if they smoke or not. Just imagine stepping on an IED and dying that way with missing limbs, losing pints of bloods per minute, that's as equally tragic and painful as dying from smoking. So by your logic, no American should sign up to serve in your Armed Forces. The Force that fights for you to have your own opinions. I accept that death is envitable and death isn't meant to be one big party, but people get over your death and move on and rightfully so, I don't even want a funeral or a wake, I just want to be dumped into the ground and forgotten about. I don't need a headstone or flowers on top of my rotting corpse, what do I care? I'll be dead. I smoke on a rare occasion because I like it and I don't care who knows it and who likes it or doesn't, their opinion matters not one iota to me. My lungs are mine and mine to abuse any way I see fit. I pay taxes to state, so what is everyone whinging about? It's pompous, holier than thou attitudes like yours that make me feel like I'm living in the Soviet Union. What next? Throw smokers into prison and make them go cold turkey?
witabix Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 You fear death, that's your problem. I do not fear it? Why? It's envitable and plenty of people die in a horrific fashion regardless if they smoke or not. Just imagine stepping on an IED and dying that way with missing limbs, losing pints of bloods per minute, that's as equally tragic and painful as dying from smoking. So by your logic, no American should sign up to serve in your Armed Forces. The Force that fights for you to have your own opinions. I accept that death is envitable and death isn't meant to be one big party, but people get over your death and move on and rightfully so, I don't even want a funeral or a wake, I just want to be dumped into the ground and forgotten about. I don't need a headstone or flowers on top of my rotting corpse, what do I care? I'll be dead. I smoke on a rare occasion because I like it and I don't care who knows it and who likes it or doesn't, their opinion matters not one iota to me. My lungs are mine and mine to abuse any way I see fit. I pay taxes to state, so what is everyone whinging about? It's pompous, holier than thou attitudes like yours that make me feel like I'm living in the Soviet Union. What next? Throw smokers into prison and make them go cold turkey? Oh man, you have so misunderstood what I am saying. I am not American, I am Irish, we have killed and died for all sorts of silly ****. You think I have a holier than thou attitude? I have missed the mark then, I am so sorry you see my post in this light. This is not the Soviet Union (where cigarettes were cheap) ....this is the Republic of Witabix. Where you are free to do what you wish to do. Where I am free to show you my experience and pain, and wish that you would not visit that on yourself, or your loved ones. That is all Sphere, do not take umbrage, I support your freedom to do and think as you wish. Maybe I can save you from some pain, maybe not, its up to you man.
Sphere Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I hardly think the odd cigarette here and there will kill me, I don't smoke twenty a day, I don't even smoke twenty a month. If it does then it does, but I could step outside my front door tomorrow and collapse and die, or I could get run over, I could fall underneath a train. I could have sudden death syndrome. When your time is up, it's up, it doesn't matter what you have done or haven't done, we all kick the bucket at some point. It might not be today, but it could happen tomorrow. Each day that passes we are one day away from dying, remember that. I shall embrace death as I have embraced life, full of energy, even if I am wired up to a hospital bed with a hypocritical nurse telling me "You shouldn't have smoked at all, what were you thinking?". I'd be interested to know what your opinions on alcohol and fast food/processed foods are.
witabix Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Alcohol, ok in modaration, less than say, thirty pints a night. Fast food/processed food not much kop except to qualm hunger.
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