LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Connected with very interesting man on Match, who threw me his phone number right away with an invite to call him. So I did and we played a litte phone tag. He texted that he's working 15 hour days and will try to call "tomorrow"..which never happened, so he emailed me the next day that "lots going on with work and personal things but I will keep your number and call when things settle down in a couple of weeks." Fine with me, sure I"ll still be single in a couple weeks;) But could it be that he's just seeing what pans out with another woman? I am anxious to get to know him better, and he's definitely made more than 1 effort to contact me as i have with him; but a couple weeks seems like a pretty distant estimate on when things will "settle down"...should I put up a red flag here? Cuz even if he's telling the truth, the guy might be too busy to give me enough attention, apparently...
Star Gazer Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 He immediately gave you his number but then said he's basically unavailable for a few weeks? That's weird. I suspect he's dating someone else right now, is exploring that, and is keeping you on the backburner.
L3stat Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Yup, Sounds nefarious i mean speaking from a guy's point a view if i had made the effort to find someone online and sent them my phone number and they didn't think i was crazy or just looking for that thing, i would of made my self more available unless of course i was involve with someone else. Also the Entree Ain't As Good Without Something On The Side:cool:
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 My guess: he is dating someone, he likes her, she is giving him mixed signals. Meanwhile, he is looking for back ups when things with this girl fail.
Author LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 When I got his number I actually texted him 1st. He called a few minutes later but I missed the call and he left a message. I didn't get the message until later, so I just texted sorry to miss your call...and didn't hear back from that. The next day I called and left a voice mail. That's when he texted that he's been working 15 hour days and he would call me back tomorrow. But instead of doing that he emailed me and that's when he said it would be a "couple weeks". I also noticed he only gets back on the site every few days or so, as opposed to everyday, or whatever. Oh well I just wondered if it sounded fishy. Like I said I'm sure I'll still be around in a couple weeks and single, so it doesn't make a difference to me if he calls either way. I can't say that I've never been one to line up 2 or 3 from Match and give them attention in order of my interest for them. So if that's what he has going on, I'm not one to bad talk him.
ComeUndone Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 He immediately gave you his number but then said he's basically unavailable for a few weeks? That's weird. I suspect he's dating someone else right now, is exploring that, and is keeping you on the backburner. That's what I was thinking. Why give you his number immediately only to indicate how unavailable he currently is? That doesn't make any sense.
carhill Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Truth or lie? Unknown and irrelevant, IMO. Men who want to date you ask you on dates. Nebulous inferences to work and personal obligations, which we all have, are just carbon dioxide. I'm sure when he wants to ask you on a date, you'll give him due consideration, should you not be dating someone else; someone who made contact to ask you on a date. Good luck
atlnay Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 You dont know him well enough to detect deception, so dont waste your brain cells on that angle. His keeping you on the roster with a chance for you to get in the game in a few weeks, suggests to me, he is exploring his options and as women fizzle out, others move up on his list. Or I could be wrong. His "personal" things sound like "relationship" things. You just met him, so you need to do the same. Fill up your own dating card with at least one, preferrably 2, other dudes & just keep things light with them. By the time Mr. Busy gets back to you, who knows, you may have moved on...and if he doesnt, you will be too distracted to notice. Good luck!
lso802 Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Don't even worry about it. Get to know and date other people. When he asks you out and you're still interested, just go out and see what's up. I wouldn't be too concerned about it now. You're both on a dating site and will be dating other people.
Author LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 You dont know him well enough to detect deception, so dont waste your brain cells on that angle. His keeping you on the roster with a chance for you to get in the game in a few weeks, suggests to me, he is exploring his options and as women fizzle out, others move up on his list. Or I could be wrong. His "personal" things sound like "relationship" things. You just met him, so you need to do the same. Fill up your own dating card with at least one, preferrably 2, other dudes & just keep things light with them. By the time Mr. Busy gets back to you, who knows, you may have moved on...and if he doesnt, you will be too distracted to notice. Good luck! Yeah I already have about 3 other interests going on, between the site and other guys in my life, so chances are I'll be hanging out with at least one of them before this guy even calls. The reason I say 1 and not more is because I'm going on a trip in exactly 2 weeks, and probably won't have time to meet up with someone more than once before then. Anyway needless to say I have enough going on that a couple of weeks will fly by fast.
Author LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 That's what I was thinking. Why give you his number immediately only to indicate how unavailable he currently is? That doesn't make any sense. I messaged him first with interest, and he instantly threw me his number back, also mentioning that his job is hectic right now but feel free to call sometime. His profile says he works in biomedical engineering. So anyway, he warned me about that along side of giving me his number. Then I guess after missing each other's calls twice, that he decided it would be better to try and connect at a later time, for whatever reason. Will just see if that time even comes
carhill Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 What was/is 'very interesting' about this man? Is proactive contact your usual style? Perhaps there is good information to be mined here, information you can use for future encounters. I am anxious to get to know him better Underscoring 'anxious', why? Is his unavailability an attraction point? How is that matching up with such points with the other guys in the mixer right now? All good information.
Author LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 What was/is 'very interesting' about this man? Is proactive contact your usual style? Perhaps there is good information to be mined here, information you can use for future encounters. Underscoring 'anxious', why? Is his unavailability an attraction point? How is that matching up with such points with the other guys in the mixer right now? All good information. I should re word, would very much like an opportunity to get to know him better and see where it goes. Before any contact at all I felt this way, just from reading about him and being attracted to him, both aspects appealed to me more than anyone else's profile ever has. Now who knows if meeting him in person would have the same effect on me; sometimes it doesn't. It's not uncommon for a person to appear more interesting in their profile than they really are, or vice versa. So I guess I'm very curious to see if he's as interesting to date as he is to read about. But everything from his physical appearance to his career to his interests are all right up my alley (so far). It's not usual for me to feel that interested on all those levels when I look at a profile. There is usually 1 or 2 things that will get my attention and make a guy prospect-worthy. But this guy had a lot more than 2 things jump out at me about him. He's even a little bit out of my age range, just by a couple of years, but I found him interesting enough to dismiss that (I usually try not to date over 40, but he is 43 and I'm 33). Normally if it's out of my age range, I don't look. But when I saw this guy, I thought, that could be one good catch and age suddenly doesn't matter...might as well give it a shot and I might be glad I didn't stick to my little age rule.
carhill Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 I should re word, would very much like an opportunity to get to know him better and see where it goes. Before any contact at all I felt this way, just from reading about him and being attracted to him, both aspects appealed to me more than anyone else's profile ever has. OK, accepted, and this reads remarkably like I felt prior to being married. I used to create this whole picture and persona of a woman whom I didn't even know and hadn't even met. It was all in my mind. Every nuance was analyzed. For myself, this was unhealthy pedestal-building. IDK if that is an appropriate descriptor here. Now, when I read a woman's 'profile', I think 'hey, it might be cool to meet her, I think I'll contact her and see if that interest is mutual', but without any significant emotions attached. She's just another stranger who reads/looks/sounds interesting. Perhaps passion is a thing for the young Anyway, sounds like your dance card is full so no worries. Time reveals all truths.
Author LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 OK, accepted, and this reads remarkably like I felt prior to being married. I used to create this whole picture and persona of a woman whom I didn't even know and hadn't even met. It was all in my mind. Every nuance was analyzed. For myself, this was unhealthy pedestal-building. IDK if that is an appropriate descriptor here. Now, when I read a woman's 'profile', I think 'hey, it might be cool to meet her, I think I'll contact her and see if that interest is mutual', but without any significant emotions attached. She's just another stranger who reads/looks/sounds interesting. Perhaps passion is a thing for the young Anyway, sounds like your dance card is full so no worries. Time reveals all truths. Right, well of course I keep in my mind it is just a profile and a stranger at this point. It is the most interesting profile to me but that doesn't mean he will turn out to be the right one to date. But it would be nice for a real life experience to match what I get from a profile, for once On the other hand, I could end up taking a shot with somene who sounds boring and ends up terriffic in person...who knows? Like you said time will tell.
Author LoveLace Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 more mumbo jumbo Ooookaaay....that's insightful.
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