SadandConfusedWA Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I dated this guy J. recently. He showed a super strong interest in me even before we met (he is from OKC) and his interest increased after we met. He was very emotional with me, even cried and was constantly asking me if I was losing interest in him etc. The problem for me was that I just wasn't physically attracted to him but we got on really well conversationally. After few dates, I ended it. He has sent close to 20 texts that night. At first I gave him a BS reason for ending it, but soon after I just told him the truth (that the spark was missing). He kept questioning me "on date 2 you have put your head on my shoulder when I hugged you. Why did you do that if you felt no spark?" etc etc. Soon enough he requested that we go NC (keep in mind that I didn't initiate contact once since the "break up"). He also informed me that he is going on a week long holiday to get over me He is back today and I got this really looooong e-mail from him telling me how much fun he had and that he has really moved on from me. He also told me that he has 2 gold class cinema tickets and asked me to go with him as friends. I am kind of bored and wouldn't mind going... Is going with him leading him on? Is he telling the truth that he has "moved on"? Can we really be friends?
TaurusTerp Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 No, dont go. Duh. Come on, girl. you know better than that.
Kamille Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Nope, don't go. He's just trying to impress you with how much he's moved on. Which is a sign that he hasn't moved on. It's nice to hear women aren't the only ones who get insecure about interest levels though. Gives you the other sides perspective on the subject, doesn't it?
lab_brat Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 You cannot. You weren't friends in the first place hon, plus he sounds a little clingy. Better pass on this one.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 Nope, don't go. He's just trying to impress you with how much he's moved on. Which is a sign that he hasn't moved on. It's nice to hear women aren't the only ones who get insecure about interest levels though. Gives you the other sides perspective on the subject, doesn't it? Definitely Kamille. That's what I was just talking about with my girl friend. This guy is ME in this relationship and I am the aloof and distant one. It is a good lesson for me - I can see first hand how being insecure is VERY unattractive.
Imajerk17 Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 (edited) WTF is wrong with you women on here? You break up with a guy who cries (good for you for breaking up, bad for him for crying) and then you keep entertaining his 20 texts and long emails pouring out their heart. The thing that is nuts, SadAndConfused, is that this thread could have been written by a number of you on here. For the record, you'd be better off going out with the guy you met at Borders than giving more attention to this nutjob. Edited September 11, 2010 by Imajerk17
dispatch3d Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Why are you into so needy guys? You were attracted to the fact that he send twenty texts to you when you decided you didn't like him anymore? That has to set off some alarm bells. Why do you think you have any interest in seeing a guy like this. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not accept his cries for friendship. It will be a friendship built on lies, with him validating you and him getting stuck chasing his own tail hoping one day you cave and sleep with him (unlikely).
alexlakeman Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Well with your vast selection why bother? Curious, how long ago was your last ltr? Don't lead d guy on... Is he lieing that he moved on? Who knows... only he does... But I did text my ex gf that back in May..but I assure you if I were to get a text or call from her to see me, I'd want to see her.. I have moved on physically, but not totally in the emotional dept ... Then again we dated for almost a year not short term like that guy and you.
dispatch3d Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 and yes, the guy is needy. A girl didn't reply to ONE of my texts, and I deleted her number! lol. It was a question, she decided not to respond, so I deleted it from my phone (combined with the fact she'd keep scheduling "outings" with me then canceling)..... This guy has a date with you, sounds like it goes soso, you move on and he sends you 20 texts? Then you like him? Not good, his behaviour is unhealthy.
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