LS Men are Turning Me Off Men

[tami-chan]

Maybe the only other scenario is third world countries were marrying an American man is a big accomplishment but even there its the security and stability it can bring them that are most appealing aspects prob 90% of the time at least not "your natural american charms"

 

That said if you look at other modern developed countries "yanks" are generally seen as obnoxious I'm sorry to burst your bubble but thats the honest truth..

 

Not sure if that's true....my Japanese (women) friends, think that American men are sweet and not afraid to say what they feel about the women they like..when I lived in Germany, the clubs were American GIs frequent are ALWAYS packed and the men are popular to hang out with among the local women.

 

I think many men from other countries ( and apparently some women) are the ones how have problems with American men. There might be some truth in the "obnoxious" part but I think it's more rooted in jealousy.

[meerkat stew]

1. Stating that "American women have body issues that they inflict on those around them" IS NOT equivalent to saying "American women are inferior."

 

2. I read the entire study, and didn't just link it. A poster said that American men are thought of badly by foreign women, a statement not at all elicited by anything I've said in this thread. The study says by implication that men in more egalitarian nations make better husbands because they are more willing to share the work.

 

I never said that foreign women want to marry American men more, but that in opposition to what poster said, are well thought of by foreign women IME and the study bears out one example of why this might be the case.

 

3. Eating disorders are by definition body image issues, even though the psychology behind them is not primarily motivated by body image per se. the symptoms present physically, the psychology behind those symptoms has much more complex origins than mere body issues. The end result is the same, though, in that men are wrongfully held responsible for, have to listen to and often are responsible for having to clean up the resulting mess. Once more, how many bulimics have you yourself dated?

 

Look in the mirror before calling my logic into question.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Not sure if that's true....my Japanese (women) friends, think that American men are sweet and not afraid to say what they feel about the women they like..when I lived in Germany, the clubs were American GIs frequent are ALWAYS packed and the men are popular to hang out with among the local women.

 

I think many men from other countries ( and apparently some women) are the ones how have problems with American men. There might be some truth in the "obnoxious" part but I think it's more rooted in jealousy.

 

Ive found from personal experience 1st hand views that we are seen as obnoxious/loud and to be painfully honest some of that can be true we can be everything they say and more! BUT then again that doesn't mean EVERY american IS that way. Sadly tho its what becomes expected of us.

 

I've actually had people surprised to hear I'm originally American after they talk to me for a while they usually ask if I'm Canadian. Then you get the ones who take it as a "spectacle" to some degree a "novelty" to meet a american. I suspect perhaps that explains your packed night clubs to some degree these have been my personal experiences..

[SpanksTheMonkey]

A poster said that American men are thought of badly by foreign women, a statement not at all elicited by anything I've said in this thread.

 

I mainly said that Americans in general are thought of badly by foreigners your the one who keeps adamantly making it a male/female thing. You basically said that foreign women think American women are stupid for having issues. I was simply pointing out that American men and women for that matter are seen as obnoxious in general by foreign women and men alike.

 

So in a way it ties in well with the conversation I'm sorry if you thought those negative view points were some how saved for American women alone when in fact there not! You can bet your bottom dollar that those Brazilian women you speak so highly about more then likely don't get their rocks off on most average American men either...

[tami-chan]

Ive found from personal experience 1st hand views that we are seen as obnoxious/loud and to be painfully honest some of that can be true we can be everything they say and more! BUT then again that doesn't mean EVERY american IS that way. Sadly tho its what becomes expected of us.

 

Well that might be true...but it's always "the other Americans"- they read and hear these opinions expressed by men and usually,feminists of these other countries and believe this until they actually meet American men and then say...."oh you are not at all what I expected". Problem is, most American men are "not what they expected". It happened to you, didn't it?

 

Then you get the ones who take it as a "spectacle" to some degree a "novelty" to meet a american. I suspect perhaps that explains your packed night clubs to some degree these have been my personal experiences..

 

Perhaps, but then again many marry these men....maybe they are just not very smart women?

[meerkat stew]

You can bet your bottom dollar that those Brazilian women you speak so highly about more then likely don't get their rocks off on most average American men either...

 

In this you are correct, I'm well above average in every way.

[tami-chan]

In this you are correct, I'm well above average in every way.

 

so so true!

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Ive found from personal experience 1st hand views that we are seen as obnoxious/loud and to be painfully honest some of that can be true we can be everything they say and more! BUT then again that doesn't mean EVERY american IS that way. Sadly tho its what becomes expected of us.

 

Well that might be true...but it's always "the other Americans"- they read and hear these opinions expressed by men and usually,feminists of these other countries and believe this until they actually meet American men and then say...."oh you are not at all what I expected". Problem is, most American men are "not what they expected". It happened to you, didn't it?

 

 

 

Perhaps, but then again many marry these men....maybe they are just not very smart women?

 

I don't know Tammi Ive known people in the hospitality business over here and time and time again they say its the usually yanks they get put off by the most. And I've also herd similar things from average kiwi people I def don't hang out with the femanatzi crowd as I couldn't stand them myself lol..

 

I agree not all Americans are this way but we cant deny the stereotype isent out there! I think to do so would not help my fellow Americans at all they need to hear this and take it in I believe..

 

Yes kat of course we all know how fabulous you are indeed.. lol

Edited September 13, 2010 by SpanksTheMonkey

[Untouchable_Fire]

Maybe the only other scenario is third world countries were marrying an American man is a big accomplishment but even there its the security and stability it can bring them that are most appealing aspects prob 90% of the time at least not "your natural american charms"

That said if you look at other modern developed countries "yanks" are generally seen as obnoxious I'm sorry to burst your bubble but thats the honest truth..

 

Bulls*** I know for fact that in many "developing" countries marrying outside your nationality is considered a bad thing to do. Yet many of those women when polled say they think highly of American men. Not because of money or standard of living... but because American culture on average produces some terrific guys.

 

Luckily for women in developing countries American culture also produces on average... completely terrible women. I look at it as a tradeoff.

 

In regards to other western countries. I've experienced first hand that they will talk crap about America and still want to date you.

 

 

Ive found from personal experience 1st hand views that we are seen as obnoxious/loud and to be painfully honest some of that can be true we can be everything they say and more! BUT then again that doesn't mean EVERY american IS that way. Sadly tho its what becomes expected of us.

I've actually had people surprised to hear I'm originally American after they talk to me for a while they usually ask if I'm Canadian. Then you get the ones who take it as a "spectacle" to some degree a "novelty" to meet a american. I suspect perhaps that explains your packed night clubs to some degree these have been my personal experiences..

 

I've experienced the loud/obnoxious stereotype as well. Didn't keep the women away though.

 

I mainly said that Americans in general are thought of badly by foreigners your the one who keeps adamantly making it a male/female thing. You basically said that foreign women think American women are stupid for having issues. I was simply pointing out that American men and women for that matter are seen as obnoxious in general by foreign women and men alike.

So in a way it ties in well with the conversation I'm sorry if you thought those negative view points were some how saved for American women alone when in fact there not! You can bet your bottom dollar that those Brazilian women you speak so highly about more then likely don't get their rocks off on most average American men either...

 

That may be true... but when ask if you were to marry someone foreign what country would you like him/her to be from: America is almost always in the top 3 for who women would choose, and in the bottom half for who men would choose.

 

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that American men have a pretty decent reputation worldwide as being good husbands. I say part of that is attributed to good old fashioned earning potential, but not all of it.

 

I also find it interesting that American women do so poorly in the view of foreign men.

 

I agree not all Americans are this way but we cant deny the stereotype isent out there! I think to do so would not help my fellow Americans at all they need to hear this and take it in I believe..

Yes kat of course we all know how fabulous you are indeed.. lol

 

I find that stereotype doesn't really stop women from wanting to date you.

 

Also I should note that your probably working with a decidedly wealthier European crowd. They tend to be a touch more nationalist.

[meerkat stew]

You basically said that foreign women think American women are stupid for having issues.

 

I posted that Brazilian and Colombian women I know find American women's perpetual body issues as annoying as American men do.

 

Stop putting words in my mouth.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

OK you guys can belive what ever you like its always eiser to believe what suits us then to maybe open our minds to what doesn't. Even if it may help us in the long run. I actually asked my kiwi bf this question tonight as I was curious what his response would be...

 

Me.. In your honest opinion and with out taking me into account what have you herd others saying about Americans in general to you.

 

Him... After a bit of a pause he finally uncomfortably answered.. well its not good I've taked to people who have gone to both Canada and the USA on holidays and they say the Canadians are far nicer people and that the Americans tend to be more rude and then he went on to add that the American men tend to be full of themselves.

 

That came from a middle class average kiwi guy whose dating a American girl so he would def have no attraction to "bash" Americans to me! And I'm quite sure hes far from jealous you take from that what you will as I'm sure you will anyways...

 

Ps...kat get over your self I never "put words in your mouth" that weren't already there and you know that..

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Bulls*** I know for fact that in many "developing" countries marrying outside your nationality is considered a bad thing to do. Yet many of those women when polled say they think highly of American men. Not because of money or standard of living... but because American culture on average produces some terrific guys.

 

You honestly believe that? alrighty then well bring on the mail order brides and lets all see how long they stick around after the green card on average

 

Luckily for women in developing countries American culture also produces on average... completely terrible women. I look at it as a tradeoff.

 

In regards to other western countries. I've experienced first hand that they will talk crap about America and still want to date you.

 

Wow so now american women on average are completely terrible no wonder so many of you guys are single and bitter with a poor attitude like that seriously I'm sure the ladies will be along shortly to debate how terrible they are in general of course

 

 

I've experienced the loud/obnoxious stereotype as well. Didn't keep the women away though.

 

You mean it wasn't your wallet that kept them near OK moving along...

 

That may be true... but when ask if you were to marry someone foreign what country would you like him/her to be from: America is almost always in the top 3 for who women would choose, and in the bottom half for who men would choose.

 

Of course it is its arguably the richest most influential country in the world not to mention the most democratic and allot of these women come from were exactly? you do the math

 

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that American men have a pretty decent reputation worldwide as being good husbands. I say part of that is attributed to good old fashioned earning potential, but not all of it.

 

Well you at least got the earning potential right so its a step towards over all enlightenment I guess

I also find it interesting that American women do so poorly in the view of foreign men.

 

You sure about that I've personalty known at least 3 American women who are with foreign men and both quite happy. I've yet to come across a single American lady or many bitter angry men for that matter

 

I find that stereotype doesn't really stop women from wanting to date you.

 

Also I should note that your probably working with a decidedly wealthier European crowd. They tend to be a touch more nationalist.

 

Nope we are middle working class people with like wise friends so no snobby snobs here try again lol

Edited September 13, 2010 by SpanksTheMonkey

[Untouchable_Fire]

Nope we are middle working class people with like wise friends so no snobby snobs here try again lol

 

I was responding to your statement that you work in hospitality... not regarding your personal friends.

 

I think I'm very qualified to talk about this because I've dated a lot of American Women, along with a handful of those born elsewhere.

 

In fact... my hometown is PACKED full of women from South America with full citizenship married to broke American guys. I've seen that from the Asian and Pacific Islander girls too. I've seen the Eastern European girls to be more mercenary... but I think you still have a better shot than with a woman raised here.

 

You can say I'm bitter and angry all you want, but that just makes you a liar. I've never had a problem getting dates, so I've had enough experience to be realistic about it. I don't think women in one place are naturally that different from those in another... but from everything I've experienced has taught me women raised in U.S. culture tend to have some big drawbacks... and no that's not universal because there are some great women here... it's just that they are exceptions more than rules.

[GooseChaser]

There are plenty of good guys here, and ones willing to help and give advice to others, at that! I have no worries!

[Shakz]

There are plenty of good guys here, and ones willing to help and give advice to others, at that! I have no worries!

 

You rock, GC! We can all be jerks at times. I know I'm guilty of that. But, by and large, we generally try to put our best foot forward. How people are on LS probably has very little to do with their actual RL persona.

[tami-chan]

Nope we are middle working class people with like wise friends so no snobby snobs here try again lol

 

The middle class are mostly (not all) the ones with major issues about all kinds of things-religion, race, ethnicity, etc,etc...they tend to be narrow minded. The very poor and the very rich have something in common-these things are secondary- the poor because they are too occupied with just surviving day to day- and the rich because if you have made it to the top regardless of you color, creed, race there is a level of respect that is shared.

[Shakz]

The middle class are mostly (not all) the ones with major issues about all kinds of things-religion, race, ethnicity, etc,etc...they tend to be narrow minded. The very poor and the very rich have something in common-these things are secondary- the poor because they are too occupied with just surviving day to day- and the rich because if you have made it to the top regardless of you color, creed, race there is a level of respect that is shared.

 

Don't you think your view of the middle class is somewhat, well, narrow-minded? As far as the rich being accepting, well, there is no honor among thieves. furthermore, there's old money and new money, and never the twain shall meet.

[tami-chan]

OK you guys can belive what ever you like its always eiser to believe what suits us then to maybe open our minds to what doesn't. Even if it may help us in the long run. I actually asked my kiwi bf this question tonight as I was curious what his response would be...

 

Me.. In your honest opinion and with out taking me into account what have you herd others saying about Americans in general to you.

 

Him... After a bit of a pause he finally uncomfortably answered.. well its not good I've taked to people who have gone to both Canada and the USA on holidays and they say the Canadians are far nicer people and that the Americans tend to be more rude and then he went on to add that the American men tend to be full of themselves.

 

That came from a middle class average kiwi guy whose dating a American girl so he would def have no attraction to "bash" Americans to me! And I'm quite sure hes far from jealous you take from that what you will as I'm sure you will anyways...

 

Ps...kat get over your self I never "put words in your mouth" that weren't already there and you know that..

 

You know who are rude? the Germans(well sure, not all of them-that would be silly but a whole lot of them!)! I have lived there and they are super rude-but then again perhaps the standard of "rudeness" is cultural? In Germany, I got stared at a LOT-men, women, old, young. Over there I was extra careful that when I went out EVERYTHING about me was impeccable-I was not going to give them a reason to stare. But it never failed, they stared, then I thought,well why not? Very pretty :rolleyes: Japanese girl, alone in the strassen bahn-why wouldn't I be stared at? or maybe it was because when I smiled they couldn't see my eyes?

 

 

But you know, the Germans(or any other nationality) do not get press(or as much press), because nobody really cares about them. The Americans, well, we are all over this damn world. Naturally, everybody has an opinion about us. Oh well...it's lonely at the top...

[meerkat stew]

I actually asked my kiwi bf

 

I guess this is what is called "peer reviewed."

 

Ps...kat get over your self I never "put words in your mouth" that weren't already there and you know that..

 

That's exactly what you have done, more than once in the thread. If you can't accurately summarize what someone else says without slanting things severely by twisting their words, then don't attempt to summarize at all.

 

Maybe ask your kiwi bf to see if I'm right? I mean Auckland -is- the hub of the western world after all.

[tami-chan]

Don't you think your view of the middle class is somewhat, well, narrow-minded? As far as the rich being accepting, well, there is no honor among thieves. furthermore, there's old money and new money, and never the twain shall meet.

 

Are you calling the rich thieves?

[dreamingoftigers]

It doesn't matter that people specifically exempt those very few who have legitimate medical issues from their comments, does it? Keep internalizing and personalizing

 

The reasons you may perceive men's comments as "raving," is that it is a legitimate issue for men that has been stifled, censored and emotionally blackmailed for decades. So yes, there is some backlash involved. Many of us, after suffering with women's numerous and various weight and body issues our entire lives, are tired of it. Moreover, though we certainly didn't cause all these female body issues, we are often blamed for them disingenuously.

 

The end result is that we finally just say f__ it, adopt a 0 tolerance policy with respect to female body issues, and focus on our own desires completely, which if we had done all along and not tip-toed around on egg shells, these things might not be the big social deal they are. Admittedly, men have coddled women in their body issues, when less tolerance and understanding probably would have been a better stance.

 

Really? Perhaps more encouragement and less shaming would achieve better results? Do men become super-responsive when their women say things like "you aren't romantic enough?" "you don't make enough money for me." These might be legitimate concerns but really the way it is framed let's the other party know that their worth is diminished because of who they are, not how they have behaved. If the men with this attitude were to say "I want to have a healthy partner so that I will be attracted to her and not as concerned about her longevity" that would be far more reasonable and women would be far more responsive than the "NO FAT CHICKS" stance that doesn't do anything but make those with a weight problem feel anything but shame. I don't walk around wearin t-shirts saying "NO DICKS UNDER 7 INCHES." I think that statements like that aren't warranted and that advertising them would be quite disgusting. (No, I don't have the no dicks under 7 inches policy, it is just an example.)

[Shakz]

Are you calling the rich thieves?

 

Not exactly, it's a metaphor. Suppose I'm a theif. I don't want anyone invading my territory. If someone does, and they are successful, there's not much I can do about it. I can offer a partnership, or merely tolerate their presence, but I will be always looking for a way to do them in. This is the way of the rich. It's the attitude that made them rich in the first place.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I was responding to your statement that you work in hospitality... not regarding your personal friends.

 

I think I'm very qualified to talk about this because I've dated a lot of American Women, along with a handful of those born elsewhere.

 

In fact... my hometown is PACKED full of women from South America with full citizenship married to broke American guys. I've seen that from the Asian and Pacific Islander girls too. I've seen the Eastern European girls to be more mercenary... but I think you still have a better shot than with a woman raised here.

 

You can say I'm bitter and angry all you want, but that just makes you a liar. I've never had a problem getting dates, so I've had enough experience to be realistic about it. I don't think women in one place are naturally that different from those in another... but from everything I've experienced has taught me women raised in U.S. culture tend to have some big drawbacks... and no that's not universal because there are some great women here... it's just that they are exceptions more than rules.

Seriously you said most American women are bad you tell me how that doesn't make you sound bitter? eh..

 

I will stand behind what I've said because I know it to be true I will not LIE to you and sayive herd glorious reviews about Americans over seas I'm sorry I'm not a LIER thanks..

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I guess this is what is called "peer reviewed."

 

 

 

That's exactly what you have done, more than once in the thread. If you can't accurately summarize what someone else says without slanting things severely by twisting their words, then don't attempt to summarize at all.

 

Maybe ask your kiwi bf to see if I'm right? I mean Auckland -is- the hub of the western world after all.

 

Please don't tell me how to post and I wont do the same for you were not even from Auckland have you actually ever been to NZ or did you just Google it and pick Auckland? lol..

[SpanksTheMonkey]

The middle class are mostly (not all) the ones with major issues about all kinds of things-religion, race, ethnicity, etc,etc...they tend to be narrow minded. The very poor and the very rich have something in common-these things are secondary- the poor because they are too occupied with just surviving day to day- and the rich because if you have made it to the top regardless of you color, creed, race there is a level of respect that is shared.

 

tami I wish I could say I've herd better things about us I really do but this is the common view point of Americans over seas that I've seen. It pains me that we are seen this way and it covers a broad spectrum of foreigners I'm sure.

 

I'm not the bad guy here guys I'm just a American whose looked out of the "box" and seen how others seam to see us around the world and saddens me.. Do you honestly think I enjoy being called Canadian? to have that assumed just because I'm friendly no I don't it hurts every time..

Edited September 14, 2010 by SpanksTheMonkey