MrNate Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 No doubt this is one of the biggest complaints I hear. Heck, my younger cousin who is playing college football is complaining about the same thing! But I've always been curious. What exactly is a 'nice' girl/guy? And why are these supposedly a rarity? And since 'nice' is so hard to define (apparently, since it means weak or clingy at times, either that or they get 'looked over'), what do you call someone who isn't nice?
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 No doubt this is one of the biggest complaints I hear. Heck, my younger cousin who is playing college football is complaining about the same thing! But I've always been curious. What exactly is a 'nice' girl/guy? And why are these supposedly a rarity? And since 'nice' is so hard to define (apparently, since it means weak or clingy at times, either that or they get 'looked over'), what do you call someone who isn't nice? I don't really like the whole nice/jerk terminology. I tend to see it like this: Nice = Naturally Giving in Relationship Jerk = Naturally Taking/User in Relationship I think when we look at it in terms of giving and taking... it makes much more sense.
Author MrNate Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 I don't really like the whole nice/jerk terminology. I tend to see it like this: Nice = Naturally Giving in Relationship Jerk = Naturally Taking/User in Relationship I think when we look at it in terms of giving and taking... it makes much more sense. I think that's a good point. I also don't like how being a nice person is associated with being passive, shy, being over looked etc. Also, the fact that they can be associated with being ugly in some cases. I mean, it really doesn't make any sense to me.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I think that's a good point. I also don't like how being a nice person is associated with being passive, shy, being over looked etc. Also, the fact that they can be associated with being ugly in some cases. I mean, it really doesn't make any sense to me. It's because many of those people who are too passive, shy, ugly... ect, tend to think of themselves as nice.
atlnay Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I think the word 'nice' is just a catchall to sum up it's hard to find a compatible person who is attractive, funny, charming, a sexual match, available, no drama, yada, yada, yada. I meet a lot of 'nice' guys and I think it's safe to say most everyone thinks they are nice. I'm sure dudes I met for 1st dates thought I was nice as much as I thought they were, we just weren't good matches. I even think my exes were nice dudes, we just wanted different things and moved on. Nice people are everywhere.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 What makes someone nice in the general sense is are they comfortable with giving a stranger the benefit of the doubt. Women for instance who conclude that any gesture toward them is an emotional intrusion often are not at all nice in how they negotiate social discourse. Me: nice evening. Her: gimme a break. That ain't nice.
Mad Max Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 They are hard to find. It's extremely frustrating when the majority of girls I seem to attract are promiscuous and drama queens.
TheBigQuestion Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 "Niceness" in the dating world is an amorphous and useless term. I really wish people would stop using it. You're not looking for a "nice" person, you're looking for a "compatible" person. I've never met a person who is "nice" 24/7. Generally the ones who approach that degree of pleasantness usually have some sort of agenda. Part of being a human is that you will sometimes get unreasonably angry, you may be selfish, you may be controlling, and so forth. Compatibility is defined by two people being able to resolve conflicts when these traits inevitably arise during a relationship.
donnamaybe Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 When I consider someone "nice" it isn't necessarily someone who lets people take advantage of them. To me, that's a huge turn off. Besides, if your self esteem is so poor that you feel you have to let people walk all over you, then maybe you're only pretending to be "nice" to get people to like you. I prefer someone who stands up for themselves while, at the same time, thinking of others. Just like my sweety!
SteveC80 Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 To me a nice person is a caring loving person whos not to self absorbed When an nice guy says hes "nice" it usually means hes a medicore looking bore who wants to be accepted for who he is when he brings nothing to the table When a girl says she just wants an nice guy and thinks there are none she means an extremely hot Man who will soemhow stay faithful even with many options
mike10522 Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 To me a nice person is a caring loving person whos not to self absorbed When an nice guy says hes "nice" it usually means hes a medicore looking bore who wants to be accepted for who he is when he brings nothing to the table When a girl says she just wants an nice guy and thinks there are none she means an extremely hot Man who will soemhow stay faithful even with many options -1 on the nice guy part and +1 on the girl part. A lot of times if you want a nice responsible guy, you wont find them till your older. I don't know your age but between ages of 20-30 I'm sure lot of guys are working on their career and getting their life started, I know I am and it's far from easy >.<
denise_xo Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 What exactly is a 'nice' girl/guy? And why are these supposedly a rarity? I don't think 'nice' people are that rare - you just have to learn to see and appreciate people for what they are, rather than what they're not or what you would prefer them to be. I've met a lot of amazing people in my life.
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