EyeAlone Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I've gone on three dates with this guy and we'll be going out on another one this weekend. He's nice to me, we have some stuff in common, and although he's not really physically attractive, he's okay in my eyes. However, he is so immature and I feel almost embarrassed hanging out with him in public. It feels like I'm babysitting him. "No, let's not go run at the birds and chase them" etc. He's in his younger 20s and I'm a couple of years older than him, so the age difference isn't bad. But I just wish he was more mature. I like him but I'm not sure if it's enough to want to be in a relationship with him. So I've been going on dates with him to see if something can develop. But I just don't know when I should pull the plug, if I do. I feel bad because I know he likes me a lot and I don't want to string him along. I just don't know what to do. Maybe if he was more physically attractive I wouldn't mind the immaturity that much. Or maybe if he had a job! Ugh, I don't know what to do.
USMCHokie Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 ...although he's not really physically attractive, he's okay in my eyes. LAUNCH...you're just going to be unhappy and end up breaking his heart later on... Don't settle with "okay"...
kalikula Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I probably wouldn't see him anymore... Definitely a bad sign. I saw a guy like that, he was embarrassing to be around in public (IE one time I drove to get beer and he rolled down the windows and started yelling at people- given he was kinda drunk, but STILL. And there are cops literally all over that are). Anyway, I think that's just a really bad sign and probably indicates incompatibility. You deserve someone mature who you don't feel you have to babysit! (Not to mention more physically attractive and hopefully employed! )
Author EyeAlone Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 Thanks guys for your opinions! He's also been demonstrating the exact same insecure behavior already that my ex bf did. Shame on me if I make the same mistake twice. I'm going to feel bad doing this because I know how badly it hurts. I think the worst part is that he's really nice to me. I feel really guilty cutting loose a nice guy. Who knows when I'll find another nice guy??
atlnay Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Don't hold onto him because of fear, that'll guarantee you wont allow someone more suitable to find you. Let him go, especially since he appears to have two dealbreakers in your eyes: no true physical attraction & he embarasses you in public. Which means when you go out you will cringe & he's not hot enough in your eyes to just keep him indoors...lol...jokes aside, you wont damage him for life by letting him go.
Serenitynow Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Dont look at him as a nice guy. Look at it through the eyes of reality. He's an immature idiot.
goldencloud Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I'm just going to blunt about this. Get out while you still can, before he gets even deeper entangled with you.TRUST ME, if you don't feel the spark by now, and this coupled with his 'immaturity' etc, it just won't work. Perhaps you two are just too difference and hence what you're seeing as immature really is him just being him? In any case, don't waste your time, and don't unnecessarily break his heart...If you don't feel it, you don't.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 (edited) Buy him a skateboard and give him a long push on it and don't be there when he turns around to say thanks mommy. He'll just get into the ride--maybe cruise some birds--and forget you. Edited September 11, 2010 by Feelin Frisky
Ruby Slippers Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Ugh, I don't know what to do. Let's see. You're not very attracted to him, he's immature, you're embarrassed to be seen with him, and he's unemployed. In my mind, this is not a difficult decision.
Author EyeAlone Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Thanks all for your help! I cut him loose today. I felt really bad because I knew he liked me and was so nice to me, but it was for the best. There's also an element of guilt because I did give him the impression that I was into him. He was really confused when I told him that I didn't want to hang out with him anymore, but I hope he appreciated the honesty. I was reaching the point where I was dreading seeing him, and that certainly isn't a good thing. So thanks for bluntness; I needed it!
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