Kamille Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I feel it's time for a dating advice thread. What is some of the best dating advice you ever received? Mine is geared towards ladies: 1) If you want a relationship, don't settle for anything less than a relationship. Don't be afraid to tell the guys you date that you're looking for a relationship. If that is not what they want, then you can both part amicably. 2) From TBF: don't fear loss. 3) Most relationship-minded men like to feel like you gave it some thought and then chose them as the best partner for you. They want to know that you're giving the concept of compatibility some thought. So don't jump in too fast, trying to convince your dates that they should like you. Take the time to evaluate if the guy you're dating is right for you. Work on establishing a good, healthy, communication style where you are able to assert your own needs. This advice was actually given to me by a male friend and it's served me well. 4) Stay balanced. Your well-being comes first.
Gallaxia Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 1) When someone shows you who you are, believe it. Whether good or bad. I had mentioned this in another thread but it was dismissed as perhaps a "snap judgement" but I don't agree. Eventually we see glimpses of the real person behind the social facade and when you do, believe it. Humans are creatures of habit, if it happens once, there's a good chance it will happen again. 2) If you want to know what a person is really like, observe them when they're angry/upset or uncomfortable. 3) Take care of yourself first, so you can be there for others. Can't think of any others at the moment...
Fouts Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Be yourself and remember that people don't usually "grow on you". If there's not a connection right away, it usually can't be developed.
somedude81 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 oh god women giveing dating tips out ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO If you haven't noticed, it's been women giving dating tips to other women. There's nothing wrong with that.
collegeguy_24 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 stupid women don't know what they want. and they try to tell others. ROFLMAO Your a troll, go away.
Author Kamille Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Don't feed the troll please! Another tidbit of dating advice: 1) Have a sense of humor about dating. You will make mistakes. It's always best to laugh them off.
sugarmomma Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Don't get into a relationship if you or your partner are maimed or wounded. Wounded animals attack. Make sure you have healthy ideas about dating and can go in with a reasonable amount of trust.
2sure Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 If you will be having a cocktail eat something before you go out.
pandagirl Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Always make yourself your first priority in finding happiness. The rest will follow. And from my recent experience... listen to someone when they tell you: "Work is my #1 priority."
Author Kamille Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Make sure you have healthy ideas about dating and can go in with a reasonable amount of trust. Trust definitely goes a long way. As does taking your time. Real trust is gained over time. If you will be having a cocktail eat something before you go out. Good one!
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 No chasing, kick back.Be a priority by not being afraid to ask for reasonable behaviour. Unwilling, unable or disrespectful behaviour earns the curb.
Author Kamille Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 (edited) Always make yourself your first priority in finding happiness. The rest will follow. And from my recent experience... listen to someone when they tell you: "Work is my #1 priority." Definitely! As Gallaxia said, if someone tells or shows you who they are, believe them. My dad teasingly gave me a good variation of this: Men are simple. They mean what they say. Edited September 9, 2010 by Kamille
carhill Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Here's my additions, based on past mistakes and current successes..... Expect any woman/man you date to be 'seeing' someone else, whether in the social or intimate sense. Accept that expectation. If you want exclusivity, ask for it. Accept the response. Never 'fight' for a woman/man nor accept less of a commitment than you feel is healthy. Expect and accept that all women/men are a different version of 'the same'. Don't build pedestals of the 'special and unique'. What is special and unique is the love you offer. Look at him or her, if one is pursuing relationships with the goal of marriage, also from the perspective of 'will s/he feel positive about the pre-nup?', which imbues the romantic with the practical, since relationships and marriages are a combination of both. Early in the dating process, and even sometimes before actually dating, people reveal such perspectives. It's all really good information. Focusing on the above has made my post-separation dating experiences positive ones, even when they don't work out. Accepting that it's normal to be rejected and for things to not work out has helped as well. The journey itself is still meaningful and enjoyable
welikeincrowds Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Don't try that "wait 3 days" strategy after getting a girl's number. That's an arbitrary rule that accomplishes nothing, and women don't subscribe to it. (As a male friend of mine later put it: "Yeah man, that's our rule!") Just call the next day. If she's interested, she'll like it, if she's not, it didn't matter. You can do the "but seriously babe, I'm a busy, important man!" thing when you're actually planning your date.
Author Kamille Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 Don't try that "wait 3 days" strategy after getting a girl's number. That's an arbitrary rule that accomplishes nothing, and women don't subscribe to it. (As a male friend of mine later put it: "Yeah man, that's our rule!") Just call the next day. If she's interested, she'll like it, if she's not, it didn't matter. You can do the "but seriously babe, I'm a busy, important man!" thing when you're actually planning your date. To add to that: don't pretend to be busy, be busy. Keep active in your own life, with activities that will keep you from obsessing about your new love interests. Strike a balance though: make sure you do have time to date and include someone you new in your life.
OpenBook Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Kamille, I know you won't agree with me, but these dating tips have served me well, when I followed them (which wasn't often enough!): When you are with him, don't ever zoom-in on him. Stay focused on other things besides him. Always be "in motion."Always keep your emotional independence, even after you both fall in love.Always hold a part of yourself in reserve, even after you fall in love and/or get married.You don't pick them; they pick you.If you are trying to figure out where he's coming from or what he's all about, don't pay any attention or put any stock into what he SAYS. Instead, pay attention to what he DOES.
gypsy_nicky Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 (edited) exercise empathy and always assess whether the girl is really interested in you first before asking her out or investing in a relationship. Its usually the case that when your interested in someone you tend to see most of their actions (even if ambiguous) as if they are interested too-just because you are interested in them. Listen to what people do and not to what they say. Edited September 10, 2010 by gypsy_nicky
Gattica Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 [*]If you are trying to figure out where he's coming from or what he's all about, don't pay any attention or put any stock into what he SAYS. Instead, pay attention to what he DOES. 100% agree with this. I let the last fella know that I was relationship minded and was VERY clear on not being into casual sex. He said all the right things, but his actions did NOT match his words. He was only interested in bedding me and when I wouldn't sleep w/ him w/o STD testing, he started ignoring me after hours, but tried to continue on as nothing had happened at work. He has moved on to someone new and treats me as if I did something wrong to him.
witabix Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Ok, look: Its STUPID 2sure. No, more stewpid advice from stewpid 2sure
Land Shark Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 If she doesn't appreciate how your genitals look in a photograph, chances are she's not going to like them in person. Might as well find out early, before you've invested yourself at all.
Gattica Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 If she doesn't appreciate how your genitals look in a photograph, chances are she's not going to like them in person. Might as well find out early, before you've invested yourself at all. OMG...thanks for the laugh!
Art_Critic Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 If she doesn't appreciate how your genitals look in a photograph, chances are she's not going to like them in person. Might as well find out early, before you've invested yourself at all. It's also an STD screen test.. better than the lemon STD test
meerkat stew Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 No, more stewpid advice from stewpid 2sure Hmm, that dude didn't last long. Meerkat Stew Dating tips: 1. Don't talk about bestiality, spray tan, mexican wrestling masks, car antennas until she has a few drinks in her and you have wowed her with your intelligence in other ways. Women have a sense of humor, but there is some social conditioning overlay that tells her "men are dangerous." You have to show some cuddly teddy bear before baring the fangs. 2. Women love to be put in headlocks, don't believe otherwise. They LOVE it. They also love to GIVE piggyback rides. Who woulda thunk it? Every woman I've ever allowed to give me a piggyback ride demanded sex from me later in the evening. A corollary, a woman who can give a man a piggyback ride in high heels has STRONG legs. very good thing. 3. Women love farm equipment. Show a woman a tractor and she will want to have sex on it. Same applies to barns. If you take a woman in a barn alone and don't have sex with her, you have missed an opportunity. 4. If you take a woman on a date and she ODs on some substance you gave her, never just drop her off in front of the emergency room unless she is restrained. They have a way in going into zombie mode and finding you halfway across the county. Some strange radar they have. 5. If you buy a woman food on a date, make sure to eat most of it. They love that and weren't going to eat it anyway. In fact, just take their entire plate once the entree is served and eat from both plates. Instant aphrodisiac, who would have known. No idea why they get off on this.
Sanman Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 The three major pieces of advice I have for dating: 1. Look good, smell good, and taste good (breath) on dates. 2. Remember that it always fails until it doesn't. Said another way, every date/relationship will fail until the one that works out. Do not drown in the failures and, rather, learn from it and let it help you find one that works out. You only need to find one. 3. Do not expect a date/SO to change their mind in the future just because you hope they will.
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