TooAccepting32 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Ok I'm new to the dating game.. was always in LT relationships and now I'm "playing the field" meaning dating different ppl, not sleeping with ppl etc. I met someone who really stands out from the crowd on Plenty of fish.. and I know he likes me. When we first started talking I said I didn't want anything serious. His profile says he's looking for a relationship but when we first started talking he said he was having trouble with commitment. Well now we've been dating for about a month, we've kissed, made out, no sex, no clothes off lol.. I told him I'm not offering that. He said that's not all he's looking for. No conversation about exclusivity or not seeing other people. Both of our POF profiles are still up! lol... How does casual dating work?? Do I assume he's seeing other women and continue to see other guys myself since we haven't discussed it? Or is it likely that he's assuming I'm not seeing anyone else? I don't want to hurt him. I would actually consider exclusivity with him but I don't want to bring it up and move anything forward... I'm a slow mover and I'm ok with seeing other ppl because if we're meant to be it will become even more obvious. If a guy wants exclusivity will he say so?
dispatch3d Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 ask for a dating relationshpi when you've only madeout? Dunno, not something I'd do......
Author TooAccepting32 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 (edited) ask for a dating relationshpi when you've only madeout? Dunno, not something I'd do...... lol what do you mean? I've got a lot to learn.. are you saying that a guy would expect more physically before expecting exclusivity ? Edited September 9, 2010 by TooAccepting32
USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 How does casual dating work?? Do I assume he's seeing other women and continue to see other guys myself since we haven't discussed it? Yes. If a guy wants exclusivity will he say so? Some guys might, but others might wait for the girl to ask for exclusivity because it's not "manly"...
Author TooAccepting32 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 ha... interesting.. ok thanks
Star Gazer Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 If a guy wants exclusivity will he say so? IME, most guys don't just outright ask. Somehow they dance around the subject. They might tease you, like, "So what did you do last night? Have a hot date with one of your other boyfriends?" to which you must playfully respond, and a silly little conversation ensues. It's cute and endearing, but sometimes I really wish they'd just man up and tell you what they want without having to test the temperature of the water first...
Author TooAccepting32 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 IME, most guys don't just outright ask. Somehow they dance around the subject. They might tease you, like, "So what did you do last night? Have a hot date with one of your other boyfriends?" to which you must playfully respond, and a silly little conversation ensues. It's cute and endearing, but sometimes I really wish they'd just man up and tell you what they want without having to test the temperature of the water first... LOL ... well ok, he has said some indirect stuff. He'll have to say it though lol..
GivenUp0083 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Wow, the OP has no idea what she wants. You say you're a slow dater and aren't looking for something serious, yet you sound worried that both your profiles are up and you're wondering if he's seeing other girls. You say you don't want to hurt him yet you're too afraid to move forward with the relationship. You tell him you aren't giving up sex at this stage and this is important: he says "that's not ALL I'm after". He's a guy, he wants to get laid. We never know how long it'll be in between women, so if he goes out with a girl he's always leaving the option open for sex. If he likes you, he either thinks you're a prude and he's keeping his options open with you if you decide to come around while he goes out with (and is potentially sleeping with) other girls. Or, he thinks you're not really into him and he knows that if he tells you he wants a relationship he will be perceived as needy or clingy and you will lose interest. How many times have you told him you don't want a relationship? Here's one thing women never understand about men....we take what you say literally in the simplest form. He's going out with other girls trying to find someone that wants to be WITH him or is willing to put out. Plain and simple.
Author TooAccepting32 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 You say you're a slow dater and aren't looking for something serious, yet you sound worried that both your profiles are up and you're wondering if he's seeing other girls. You say you don't want to hurt him yet you're too afraid to move forward with the relationship. You tell him you aren't giving up sex at this stage and this is important: he says "that's not ALL I'm after". haha no no... I thought I was clear but I guess not.. I didn't put this up so you can judge me.. I'm just looking for help. Here's clarification for any helpers who need it: I'm dating a great guy.. would consider being exclusive if that's what he wants but still want to take it slow. I'm good with seeing other people.. I just don't want to be the only one doing it and ending up hurting him. I haven't brought it up because I don't want to initiate "the talk" and move things forward before their time. I'm in no rush, and if we're meant to be, dating others will just make that more obvious. I mention profiles being up because I'm hoping it's a clear indication that we're both still on the market and that if I chose to date other guys he wont' be shocked and hurt. As far as how many times I've told him I don't want a relationship.. that was once during a conversation before meeting. I have not said it since.. and have shown a lot of interest in him since to my surprise he's turned out to be someone I would consider a relationship with. I just haven't been begging him to be my boyfriend like some guys expect from women. So are you saying that he thinks I'm not into him because I won't have sex? or because of our conversation before meeting? the description you give of men is rather grim and stereotypical but you probably have some good points. Thanks
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