Viking Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Well, a while back when summer started, I was having difficulties with my girlfriend because she was going away for two weeks and I didn't really know how to handle being away for so long. When she got back, she broke up with me about 10 days after her return. Oh well I thought, I had begun to distance myself during those two weeks because I felt the disconnect and lack of emotion/interest on both accounts, even though I was much more involved than she was. I felt that I couldn't text/call more than a few times a day and that if I wanted to see her more than 2-3 times a week for an extended period, that I was being too needy and she let me know it sometimes. It pissed me off and I was really relieved when we broke up that I didn't have to deal with a girlfriend who was nothing more than a friend with whom I slept with. So, less than a day later, I started hanging out with this girl from work who I had been hanging out with a lot before my gf and I broke up. This girl from work and I were hanging out a lot and I figured it was going somewhere down the dating road, but alas, after a party, she crashed at my house and ended up staying in the guest bedroom. The next morning she came in and laid down on my bed and we talked for 45 minutes about stuff in general, her family, my family etc. Then she left, but texted me 20 minutes later saying "Let's just be friends". Dammit I thought. What did I do wrong? Well, needless to say, it took me a few days to get over that. She also crashed my bike and the one I lent her got stolen...but I got it back through craigslist. Fast forward a little while, I'm out at a bar with my buddy who was taking off for a trip til Christmas. We're out and about and bump into a friend of ours and we're talking and my ex gf comes up and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and there she is, so I kinda brush her off and go back to talking with this girl I know. Then my ex gf does the same thing. I brush her off again (first time I'd seen her in 2.5 weeks and I hadn't talked to her at all-no contact whatsoever). She then left and texted me about 30 minutes later saying how crazy she is for texting me, that she didn't know how to go about getting a hold of me to talk to me about getting back together. She wanted me to call her, no matter how late it was (I didn't call her but I did text her at about 4PM the next day). She also said that if I didn't want to talk to her she'd understand. Well, I decided to text her and ask her what she wanted, so after a few "What did you want to talk about?" from me and "I wanted to see what you were doing etc." from her she asked if I wanted to get beer at my favorite bar (something that she never used to do). We met up and she basically came out with "I want to get back together". She had been at a family reunion and engineering competition the entire time we were broken up plus a few days back in town and she said that all that she had thought about was me and how she missed me. I had pretty much written off this girl because of her un-involvement and I had learned in the past not to chase the girl who breaks up with you. I didn't do no contact to get back together, I did it because I thought we were done. Anyway, I decided that if she wanted another chance that some things would have to be different. Some of the things that changed are I had to be invited to more activities with her friends, I had to feel like I was included in her schedule-not that I was crammed in last minute when she didn't have something else to occupy herself with, I wanted to feel like I was with someone who wanted me not just a warm body to call a BF, I also wanted to be able to tell her that I love her without her being afraid or scared of what a committed relationship consisted of and I also wanted to have our facebook pages reflect our relationships (lame I know, but it makes it official and lets the guys she knows know to back off). To this date, I feel that I have accomplished an entire 180 degree turnaround from the relationship that she ended. I am now in Germany visiting relatives and I feel a longing for her stronger than when she left the first time, because the first time it was more of a desperation thing or a "don't leave/breakup with me". Now it is a feeling of "I miss being around you and love you". This has been a really weird summer and in the end it worked out perfect. It was worth the stress, heartache, pain and sadness to bring the happiness I now feel with my girlfriend. We will have our one year anniversary in 6 days and things look great. I hope everyone has similar luck sometime in the near future. I <3 S
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