gradstudent Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Hi everybody... I am graduate student at one University in USA and barely 30 days in USA. I am coming from Europe which is IMO different world... Anyway I am facing some dilemmas with "American culture"... I found (and my grad friends noticed) that many girls "have a crush" on me at University events - mostly nightclubs... As I said earlier USA is just different then Europe... On Saturday night for example I saw a girl sitting with bunch of guys in club and was looking at me, and after several eye contacts and smiling she waved to me... I found myself in difficult position since she was sitting at he end of the table so if I was to approach to her I would have to pass several guys... on other side what if some of these guys is her boyfriend.... I mean what she was expecting me to do... just smile and wave as she did... I actually gesticulated to her "let's go dancing" but she just smiled... I mean whats going on here... Almost every time I approached to girl on a dance floor the same story goes on... Hi, Hi, where are u from, what are u studying... (it takes 20 sec) and then turn her back (read a**) and put it on my front (read p****) and then we are dancing like hen and chicken for another 20 minutes... an thats all, no verbal reactions... no verbal seducing if you understand what I mean... And with all these in mind I feel I don't know what to do... my grads friends envy me about how I pass on USA female market but on another side just don't understand relationships among 21-23 years female Americans. And the culmination was Sunday night when the perfect blond (on scale 0 to 10: 10+) was looking at me with fingers in her hair and smiling from the distance of 10 meters... she was with her female friend and my friends were pushing me to "go, get her" but I didn't partiality b/c she is big byte for me being 30 days in USA and partially I am not familiar with American culture... Any comment I will appreciate... Thank you in advance
meerkat stew Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Almost every time I approached to girl on a dance floor the same story goes on... Hi, Hi, where are u from, what are u studying... (it takes 20 sec) and then turn her back (read a**) and put it on my front (read p****) and then we are dancing like hen and chicken for another 20 minutes... Welcome to the U.S. Great visual and the "hen and chicken" description is hilarious. I have a feeling you will be very popular at your new school. You have an advantage in that you may be very forward with women and then feign cultural ignorance. Rent the movie "Borat" for some laughs and a description of just how far you could push this. Not suggesting you push it that far, but that movie should put you at ease more about seeming awkward here. Sounds like you are a good looking guy. Just walk up to them and be friendly. No need to talk that much. You should be able to create a cute broken-english way to say "I think you are very pretty, my friends help me with the words." or somesuch that will have them taking numbers to give you sexual favors. If you mess up, you can feign embarrassment and act very ashamed, this will also lead to them fawning on you . If you think about it, the world, at least the U.S. "hen and chicken" young social world, is yours right now! You win either way. There's really nothing you can do that is wrong, and no advice necessary. Good luck.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 After living here all my life I can't say that I have an idea of what American culture IS. And what it often seems to be is something I don't wish to accommodate. Maybe I have this view because I'm a native NYCer and there is such diversity--so many immigrants just landed there like my folks and melted into this NY plurality. I'm sure it's different in many parts of the US where there may actually be a separate culture. So, perhaps depending upon where you are, you may have some kind of appealing mystique. As long as you assert confidence and openness you'll do well. If you want to "unherd" a female, don't be afraid to gesture a rendezvous somewhere less conspicuous and get to phone numbers post haste before the herd comes looking for her.
Author gradstudent Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 OK, thank you for the answers... Americans are really open minded and I think this is the barrier I need to cross... I forgot to mention as well that the same night while I was dancing with my friends one of the girls that was already dancing with a guy in "hen and chicken" mode were pulling me... I didn't really get it... what was she expecting, switching to "sandwich" mode... OMG it will take time for me to understand... Anyway should I then focus on talking or dancing with these girls... I feel like an idiot writing these posts but this really bothers me these days...
Author gradstudent Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 I deeply appreciate American culture and I don't find above-mentioned difference problematic (just don't get it)... what I am just asking is advise, don't want to look like (incapable) idiot... or to get in trouble for no reason... About LDR GF... I don't have and does not matter at this point..
SilentVoice Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 what is this? It's funny how people just cannot stay in their own countries anymore(no offense) so is this some sort of program from your college in europe that brings you here? sigh.......
joeLove Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I have the best answer for you ... Just walk to the girl, and talk for a few minutes ... and If you don't know anything else to say, just ask her if she would volunteer to teach you some English ... Tell her you are in desperate need of an English teacher and that she would be perfect. Tell her ... you need her to help you buy groceries at the grocery store or shop for some warm cloths (since you forgot all yours in your home country) or do some bank transaction or ... something like that ... You can offer to teach her your own language in return ... Or cook her some food from your home country ... Anyway .. just tell her you need someone to help you integrate in the American society ... Trust me ... that works ... Joe
jamesum Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 What country are you from? Eastern Europe?
Author gradstudent Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 Joe, thank for the advise... more then helpful! When I think a bit more its just perfect to say... James, I am from Eastern Europe... Serbia
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