marigo Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 I met a guy about a month ago through a mutual friend when we went for an out of town trip for a weekend. There were three couples and me and this guy who were both single. Him and I were basically paired up the entire weekend. When we were first introduced, we were both shy around each other but by dinner time, we were talking a lot and there was that connection. Later in the night, we were all walking around as a group and the guy and i held hands. It felt strange at first because i was still in the process of healing from a break up. My bf of two years broke up with me about 6 months ago, and i havent dated or been interested in anyone since then. So holding hands with someone after a while, felt strange to me but i liked it. This guy also knew about my ex for some reason, i dont know how but he asked me about it and asked me other things about the break up throughout the night. Not too long after we met, i realized that i was really interested in him but i was so confused at the time especially since this is the first guy that i was interested in since my ex. I wasnt sure how i was feeling. Anyway, before the night ended, he told me he likes me but i didnt really give a response because i was so confused and unsure, i didnt really know what to say. He also asked if he could kiss me but sadly i said no. At this time, he was pretty buzzed and i am the type of person who doesnt exactly kiss someone after i just met them. Also, call me cheesy or too much of a romantic, but i want my kisses to be memorable and since he was buzzed at the time, i wasnt sure he'd remember about the kiss if i did let him. But the biggest factor as to why i said no is that i was just so confused at the time, i felt like i wasnt ready. It's like im stuck in the middle of being ready yet not. The next day, we didnt talk as much but we still talked. It was time to go home and i was sad he didnt ask for my #. I thought it could be because i turned him down but a friend told me that he wanted to ask for my # but i seem to still be into my ex and so he said he doesnt want to be a rebound. This made me really sad because i can guarantee that he wasnt a rebound. There were guys that approached me after the break up, i just wasnt interested in any of them. But i felt a potential with this guy. We all hung out again next night and had dinner and we were paired up again. Him and i shared food and finally when our friends took me home, he finally asked for my # and asked if i was doing anything next day. Fast forward to the next day, we hung out and had dinner. I did think it was pretty short. Maybe a total of 3 hours including going to and back from the restaurant which is about 10-15 mins away. I dont know if this was a date but i thought it went well. It ended with him telling me that he'll call me the next day but he didnt. I started having a feeling that maybe i appeared as not interested. I am very careful with my words and actions naturally the way i was brought up with my culture and everything, certain things may be seen as not being interested. Also, coming from a break up, i do have my guards up. I was afraid i made him feel rejected because of things i said or did during our dinner. So i waited a week and decided to text him but he didnt respond and i took that as "okay, hes not interested". I did see him online a few days later and we talked then only for a bit though. Because of dumb internet connection, our online chat ended abruptly. Talk about bad timing. Then after talking to some people and after debating about it, i decided to give him a call (this was a week after we talked online). He didnt pick up and i had to leave a message. He did call me back about a half hour later and i could hear the background noise was loud and to be polite i asked if he was busy and said that he actually just got to the movies and if its okay that he call me in about an hour or two and of course i said that yeah thats totally fien. I didnt think he'll call me back (being pessimistic i guess?) and i was right, he didnt call. I know these all mean that he's not interested but i cant stop thinking about him. Especially now that im realizing that i like him, im suddenly regretting not letting him kiss me that night or not telling him that im interested or that i like him too when he said he does. Now i feel that it's too late. I really want him to contact me and just hang out even just one more time. I am more ready now and my head is a lot clearer compared to when we first met. Emotionally, i really was all over the place then. Anyway, this just kills my self-esteem. The first guy i liked since my ex and this is what happens. I just wish i can get him out of my head.
bobdole Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Contact him and open up to him. He'll send him a link to this post... What do you have to lose?
jquest1280 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Hi Marigo, I'm glad to hear you're starting to get interested in someone else, at least it takes the mind off the ex! But I can feel the anxiety, and I want you to be happy, the kind of happy when everything just works out with a guy. Only you can tell if you're ready, and you must take the time you need. Relax, deep breaths, you're fine just as you are, you know that, and you are getting better. Don't let the ex or this guy or some other guy determine how you feel about yourself.
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