Do You Think People Should Only Give Dating Tips to Their Respective Generation?

[jamesum]

Lets get real, societies in the 50s, 70s,90s, and so forth are much different from one another.

 

So I think it makes no sense for people from different generations to advise one another because they grew up in a different environment.

 

Someone who grew up in a time when a woman showing her leg was considered highly improper for example is most likely not going to give relevant dating advices to another person who is growing up in a time when its normal for people to walk around in their underwear so to speak because they think differently due to dissimilar upbringings.

 

In real life, people do tend to ask for advices from their peers, but online, you cant tell how old people who are responding to your problems are.

 

I mean if a woman in her 40s or 50s were asking about how to get with a man around her age whom she is interested in, people in their 20s are probably just gonna tell her to go up directly to him and tell him how she feels upfront. But that could end up being a disaster because the man might find it offensive due to his more conservative upbringing. And the same thing in reverse. Grandma might tell her granddaughter that in order to get a boy, all she has to do is act like an ice princess. But these days just waiting up there in the tower expecting a knight on a white horse to come to the rescue is not enough anymore.

 

So anyone agree?

[L3stat]

I agree with you on most of it, some people shouldnt be giving advice at all, on the other hand some people are just natrually good at giving advice regradless of how old they are and what generation they are from. most advice are just opnions and everyones always have to add there two cents, besides most of the times its just common sense, for example " my bf beats me, what should i do?" mostly everyone with a brain would just tell her to leave.

 

i agree that if you dont know what your talking about, and you have no expreience with love, divoirce, etc etc then you needing say anything, and just because walking up to someone and telling them how you feel works great for you, everyone is not same there is no universal way that works for everyone. Everyone is different every situation is different and every problem is diffrent, further more when someone post we only get just surface one sided information that we have to interpret as the truth and nothing but to the truth.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I do agree with you actually. The dating climate is just different now and a lot of advice is kind of redundant.

[that girl]

Someone who grew up in a time when a woman showing her leg was considered highly improper for example is most likely not going to give relevant dating advices to another person who is growing up in a time when its normal for people to walk around in their underwear so to speak because they think differently due to dissimilar upbringings.

Do you know a lot of 110 year olds? Showing leg hasn't been improper since 1920.

 

I think it depends. A lot of questions on here would really be helped by mentioning age. Usually these are questions from 15-19 year olds. The issue isn't newfangled values so much as a lack of experience in love and sex.

 

The other big difference is texting, younger people text way more. But I personally think this is a crappy dating strategy since it is so open for interpetation.

 

Overall, I think it is often a good idea for a poster to give some idea about their age, but most stuff crosses generations.

[atlnay]

I am in my 30's and take advice from friends in their 20s through 50s. You have a point about certain things being generational, i wont go to my aunt for technological etiquette of sexting, but my aunt has more wisdom about the nature of men that'll take me reaching her age to amass. Consider who is giving you advice & take what you can use & leave the rest behind. As far as LS, I try not to advise those in HS or early college. Not that I can't relate anymore but most issues are so transient it's better life experience for them to deal with than a attempting to find a fixable situation. I tend to give advice to mid 20s & older because i am still dating enough to be excited by it but have a bit of pragmatism to give a reasonable perspective.

[fmfan08]

Personally I agree. A lot of older people aren't in touch with social networking sites such as Facebook, where it seems a lot of girls meet guys and vice versa and that things like this can play a big role. You are right though, things do change such as the way girls/guys act compared to 20 years ago. It may not be a huge difference, but things have and always will change.

[Rashad]

Personally, I think threads about coping and break ups cross all generational and social boarders, everybody regardless of age knows how to be nice to somebody who is hurting and can also give good advise when it comes to coping...

Maybe the how-to threads are different... eg. how do I approach a girl in the work place or whatever, not just age wise but it also depends on the persons culture. Whats cool in America may not work well in China, Saudi Arabia or South Africa for example, but as humans we can always find common grounds, 'cause at the end of the day we all want the same things in different ways.

[Woggle]

I don't know about dating advice but men can learn a lot from older guys who were certainly much stronger than younger men are.

[anne1707]

Do you know a lot of 110 year olds? Showing leg hasn't been improper since 1920.

 

Exactly. Women who are now in their 60s were wearing miniskirts in the 1960s

[LisaLee]

I mean if a woman in her 40s or 50s were asking about how to get with a man around her age whom she is interested in, people in their 20s are probably just gonna tell her to go up directly to him and tell him how she feels upfront.

 

Actually it seems to me like the people in their 20s are the ones who hem haw around and come on here asking the silliest things.

 

He's making eye contact, he says I'm the sexiest thing in the world, he wants to take me out on a date, I really like him, should I go?!?!!!

 

Seriously, sometimes I get irate with some of these threads started by younger people because I think Are you serious? Can you not just tell this person that you like/don't like them? Hell, sometimes I'm shocked at the indecisiveness of my own friends. I work with the elderly, and let me tell you, most of those women have been around the block a time or two. They also have a "s#!t or get off the pot" mentality. It is the more religious ones and waaaay older ladies (80+ years) that I believe are what you described... but you can find that attitude in the prudish 20somethings as well.

 

And come on, most 40s and 50 year olds are not out of touch with technology when it comes to texting and facebooking.

 

Anyway, I'd rather take advice from the savvy 50 year old woman who's had her experience with men than the wishy washy 20something who can't decide whether the guy she likes is date worthy.

[Cee]

I think it's helpful to get feedback and advice from people of all ages, backgrounds, values, etc. Even though I grew up in the 80s, I have been single for the better part of the 90s & 00s. So I think my viewpoint is geared more to today than to yesterday. Also, I have dated people significantly older or younger than me so cross-generational relating is a positive and normal thing to me.

 

I usually don't give feedback or advice to people when I have no direct experience. Nor do I usually give advice to people aged 16-22 because that was so long ago for me. But I would absolutely welcome feedback from people of all ages.

[In_Repair]

I don't agree. I haven't seen it personally. Some people are socially awkward or inexperienced at ANY age, and it's just easier to blame their age if the ignorant source happens to be older. One of the most fun and exciting women I have known was a 47 year old that I dated briefly last year. I'm 35. My current girlfriend is 21. People are just people.

 

I can almost agree with the premise of the thread when discussing specific things like facebook protocol or slang and such, but even then, it's usually a problem that can be cracked with common sense. This whole thing reminds me of the old idea that each new generation wants to think that they invented everything they experience. Even sex, and I've seen people on here talking about how their parents and grandparents "just don't understand". Bull. At one time, your sweet little innocent grandma probably held more nuts in her mouth than a squirrel.

[2.50 a gallon]

The more things change, the more things stay the same. For the most part the in ground root basics are still the same.

 

Take War for example. We have modernized war, helicopters, super sonic jets, smart bombs, etc., but one of the best sources of understanding how to conduct and win a war is "The Art of War" written over 1500 years ago.

 

The same thing with people, yes your lives are faster paced, and the electronic age has changed the stage, but human nature has not changed.

 

There is a great line in the movie "Dead Poets Society", when Robin Williams says the value of poetry "is to woo women" It was the same a century ago and will be the same in the centuries to follow.

 

Romero & Juliet was written hundreds of years ago, but it still has the power to make us cry, and reflect on our love life.

 

The electronic age might have arrived, but most of the ground rules are still the same. You can text message a gal all you want, but when it comes time to have your first face to face, if you don't smile, if you look at the floor instead of looking her in the eye, if you spend the whole time thumping your chest and telling her what a great guy you are instead of simply talking to her and asking her about herself and her life, you are going to find that there won't be a second meeting.

 

So listen to the advice of those who have been there and done that, they are a valuable resource.

[Pyro]

I think that advice/opinions from all ages and generations can be helpful. No such thing as having too many POVs from people.

 

IMO people who are biased/bitter should be seeking help rather than trying to give their brand of advice.

[Feelin Frisky]

If one is 60 now that places him or her smack dab as a teen in the music, drugs, sexual and political revolutions of the 60's. As a person closer to 60 than 30 I can tell you that a lot of today's youth are much more reserved than what I experienced. I went to a Roger Waters concert two years ago and carried a tin flask of cognac in my sock. I got all kind of stare downs from young couples like "who's gonna take you home, grandpa?" I couldn't grok it at all. I'm used to people getting hammered, feeling each other up and throwing shi+ at other people's heads. Just sayin'.

[Mme. Chaucer]

This post actually makes me laugh! No offense, OP ...

 

Like Frisky said, we old farts & fartresses grew up in one of the most wild periods in history. Some of us participated!

 

My daughter is 23. Sometimes I feel a bit bad for her, since it seems from my perspective that the world now does not offer anything like the excitement and adventure that it did to my peers and me at that age.

 

Truly there are differences in the generations, but it's probably unwise to turn one's back on advice from people who might have experienced just what you are and have lived to see it from a whole different point of view.

 

Intergenerational sharing can only be a good thing, in any case. It's simple to ignore anything you want to ignore here.

[CLC2008]

Good question.

 

In retrospect, should someone who hasn't had a serious relationship, past a year, give relationship advice?

 

Either way, I think it's good to be open to a broad perspective. Times have certainly changed indeed.