4thofjuly Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I dated this guy for 3 months. During that time he considered himself my boyfriend but I would say we weren’t too serious as we both knew I was moving away soon. At around the 3 month mark I moved 6 hours away and when I left we never outwardly defined what we were at that point but it was assumed by both that that was sort kind of the end. A week later I saw him put a profile up on match-point taken. Fast forward three weeks, I came home for a weekend visit with my family. In between this time we texted each at least almost every other day . We also made plans to meet up in which we did. I had no idea what to expect from him as he had a profile up yet we never “formally” broke up- again it was just sort of assumed. When I saw him, not right away but within the first 20 minutes he gave me a kiss. We went out for a couple of drinks and then went back to his place where we cuddled and watched a movie. We did get physical that night and this is what is leading me to this question...Is he just using me sort of like a fwb or an easy lay, or do you think that there could be more than just that? He has been out of town with no service so I can’t talk to him about this and it’s driving me nuts as I do not know what to think especially with him having a match profile up. If you are a FWB do you pay for a girls drink at the bar? Cuddle with her while watching a movie? Giving her a kiss at some point during the evening? I’ve never had one before so I do not know the protocol.
atlnay Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 He could be a respectful/nice guy and if he is aftr a fwb situation, wont necessarily treat you like an ons. That said, before figuring out his motives, what do you want? I take it you like him is he dating? Will you two be long distance for long? Is it a permanent thing? Can he or does he want to be in a LD? How will you handle emotions when you are 6 hours away? Will you both be allowed to date others? Just some things to ask yourself & then see if this guy is a match for your needs & current lifestyle.
jamesum Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 There should be a stickied thread on "Are we just FWB? Or does he want more?"
meerkat stew Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Why the automatic question as to whether "he is using you" for an easy lay, and not that you are using him or that you are both using each other? Why is it necessary that consensual relations have to have any element of "using" at all and can't be just mutually pleasant? Because he is the man and you are the woman? Do you not enjoy his company and physical affection? Or perhaps what you bring to the relationship is to be considered "giving," while what he brings is considered "taking?" Move past this way of thinking. As far as answering the topic question, no one here can help you with that based on sketchy details in a single post, you and he must actually discuss these things. It sounds as if communication has been completely lacking in this relationship.
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