EyeAlone Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I'll start off by describing my ex boyfriend. He had a lot of issues and one of them was insecurity about me liking him. He would ask me if I found certain actors attractive. I'd respond in a neutral tone of voice with either "No" or "He looks okay." Never would I gush "OMG HE'S SO HOT LOLZ!" Anyway, my boyfriend would always respond by saying that he (my bf) doesn't have muscles/dark hair/brown eyes, or whatever the actor had. The current guy that I'm dating is doing almost the same thing. He's asking me if I find certain actors attractive. Also, if I'm telling a story to him that includes a guy in it, he'll throw in a comment like "Did you ask him for his number?" or "Did you guys go out on a date" or something like that. Is this normal or a red flag? It reminds me so much of my ex bf except he doesn't have the follow up responses that my ex bf would say. My ex had a lot of problems and would show his insecurity in other ways that this current guy doesn't do. But at the same time, I'd kick myself if I'd miss this red flag. Any opinions? Thanks in advance
Dante311 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 insecurity. he must view you above his league or he's been burned before...
meerkat stew Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Mild red flag, redder if it continues once a trusting foundation builds. Everyone has some mild insecurities in a new relationship, expressing them is kind of wussy for a man though. You will probably feel your attraction plummeting soon enough if this continues.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 The current guy that I'm dating is doing almost the same thing. He's asking me if I find certain actors attractive. Also, if I'm telling a story to him that includes a guy in it, he'll throw in a comment like "Did you ask him for his number?" or "Did you guys go out on a date" or something like that. Is this normal or a red flag? It reminds me so much of my ex bf except he doesn't have the follow up responses that my ex bf would say. It sounds like the kinds of things a guy in junior high would ask. Why would he assume you asked a guy for his number or went on a date with him just because he appeared in a story you were telling? Major conclusion jumping there. I can't even imagine asking the guy I'm dating if he thinks this or that actress is attractive, and certainly not inquiring about whether he went on a date with any female he simply mentions. I say orange flag.
Author EyeAlone Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 Well, I'm a couple of years older than him (I'm in my mid 20s and he's in his earlier 20s) and in an "advanced career" while he's currently unemployed. I don't have a problem with those things; however, this may be where his insecurities lie. But he knew about my career and age before he met me. I don't know much about his dating history except that none of his relationships lasted over 6 mos per OKC questions and that he did have at least one gf in the past. Anyway, should I tell him that it bothers me next time he does that? Maybe it will clear up once we've known each other longer, but I do not want to deal with another insecure guy again.
TheLoneSock Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Any opinions? Thanks in advance Drop the zero, get with a hero.
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