robdrm32 Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I'm looking for some perspective here since i'm in a fairly unique situation. Last year I had a P/T job, was attending school full-time while living with my parents. My fathers boss hung himself and subsequently screwed my family over. My fathers only choice was to take the business over and start from scratch. He couldn't do the work alone so he needed me to come in with him. So i quit school, kept my P/T job and was working both jobs. All the while rarely being paid by my father. (about $4000 in a years span). Last semester I started going P/T school again. So fast forward to now, I quit my P/T job because, aside from being over worked,under paid, and seeing things that were unethical (spoiled food being served, rat infested etc) I got back with my ex (who I was sure cheated) the same thing happened over again. She is good friends with a girl who works there, and frankly i wasn't going to have her bringing her new b/f in (she did that before) while i was working, and flat out act like i didn't exist/ nothing happened. Not to mention her friend just pretended to be friends with me, and i was just miserable being constantly reminded of my cheating ex. I'm at a point now where i'm going to school P/T have about $500 savings, about 800 total funds, no steady income (still not being paid by the dad, as we are barely keeping the house) and i'm looking for P/T work but its been very difficult to find something, and even when I do i'm still not going to have money to be spending on wasteful things. Which brings me to my dilemma, i'm good-looking, good personality, and lonely as hell. It's hard to get over a cheating ex when you don't have the funds for a social life to keep you busy. Sure i could afford a few $50 dates but after that what can i do? For the women here, if a guy told you about a situation like this where he likes to be active, play sports, hike, go to nature preserves, runs almost every day, but he can't afford to bring you out very often will that be a deal-breaker for you? Like today i sat down in class next to a decent looking girl and its like in my head i'm ready to chit chat but in the back of my mind I wonder why bother? sooner or later she is going to realize you are broke and that will change things. Your thought's please. P.S. I'm 24, male and been working since i was 16, i'm not lazy, I would actually LOVE to get a full time job again (that pays) i'm really just stuck, unless i want to work 60+ hours a week (which i was doing and believe me it drains the hell out of you)
jamesum Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 (edited) If you have no money, forget about women, man. You can look like Leonardo di Caprio but if you make minimum wage, not a single woman is going to look at you twice. Men want beauty, while women want money. Thats the way it is. Women complain that men only want the beautiful girls and wont accept them the way they are, but at the same time they wont accept you the way you are either if you dont have a good job. So as I said, no money no honey bro. Edited September 3, 2010 by jamesum
Author robdrm32 Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 yeah thats what i kinda figure but I think its more frustrating that i'm stuck in a position where if i want an income i'm looking at 60+ hours a week on-top of school, while only getting paid for about 20 of those hours. That's about $160 per week with a $9 an hour job (which is all i can hope for with a P/T job. It kills me because i'm not some bum who sits around all day doing nothing and mooching off people. And i have so much to offer in a relationship, i'm such a good person i just keep getting f*cked over with girls and life in general but wth i'm sure things will get better some day.
that girl Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 You can date fairly cheaply. Coffee dates are cheap, museums are cheap, lots of cities have free festivals. But you have to plan ahead because many typical date activities do end up costing $50. if a guy told you about a situation like this where he likes to be active, play sports, hike, go to nature preserves, runs almost every day, but he can't afford to bring you out very often will that be a deal-breaker for you? I would be more put off by the mention of money than the lack of money. It is a bit heavy to start getting into your financial issues before there is an established relationship. You can look like Leonardo di Caprio but if you make minimum wage, not a single woman is going to look at you twice. This is complete bull****.
Author robdrm32 Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 You can date fairly cheaply. Coffee dates are cheap, museums are cheap, lots of cities have free festivals. But you have to plan ahead because many typical date activities do end up costing $50. I would be more put off by the mention of money than the lack of money. It is a bit heavy to start getting into your financial issues before there is an established relationship. This is complete bull****. good points, I know alot of places i can go cheap etc but i feel like women are just looking for excitement, i mean you can only go for coffee or nature walks so many times. maybe its just negative attitude on my part but i feel like eventually a woman will get bored with simplistic/cheap dates.
ColdFox Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 It would not be a dealbreaker for me at all. I enjoy things like hikes, picnics, playing tennis, going to the lake. I love going dancing or to poetry readings and since I don't drink much this is not expensive. If we are comfortable together, I like evenings in where we cook ourselves and watch movies. It would matter to me only if he were lazy or had no ambition to better his situation. I couldn't partner with somebody longterm who couldn't pull his own weight financially.
jamesum Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 maybe its just negative attitude on my part but i feel like eventually a woman will get bored with simplistic/cheap dates. Most women will. Women want to be impressed. But there are a few who are just happy to have a boyfriend, although these women are usually the ones who dont have many options in the first place and will settle. Otherwise, they will look you over as well.
D-Lish Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 All students are "starving"... it's a right of passage! If you're meeting other female students, they aren't going to expect you to be wining and dining them. Part of the experience of being a student is stretching out your money. Sure there are women out there interested in dating for money, but the ones worth dating don't have that attitude. Good looking, friendly and smart? You're good to go.
ColdFox Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Most women will. Women want to be impressed. But there are a few who are just happy to have a boyfriend, although these women are usually the ones who dont have many options in the first place and will settle. Otherwise, they will look you over as well. I still want to be impressed...but I am not some hick or naive teenager to be impressed by a fancy dinner. If I cared about expensive restaurants or cars, I would not be at all impressed with a $50 date. I'm impressed by a man's creativity and kindness and how he makes me feel when we're together.
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