phineas Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I never fight over women. And that is what sets a guy apart from the group of trained monkeys performing for her attention.
Sphere Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 And that is what sets a guy apart from the group of trained monkeys performing for her attention. I never bother either. "Good things come to those who wait".
somedude81 Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 When she said "her friends," I just assumed they'd all be girls. Never hang out with a girl and her friends until you've already done something physical with her. There is simply no way you can get any sort of attention from her when there are other people around. It should always be just you and the girl. Never accept the offer to hang out with her and a friend(s). Except for her 1 girlfriend (who's cute, but a lesbian but engaged to someone else) all of the 5 people she invited, not including me, were guys. You just got played. Welcome to the club of guys who want to sleep with her, here are the people you will be competing with; btw, some may have already done it with her, good luck. You got hit with the absolute worse case scenario. This girl sounds like an attention whore. Also any girl who only has guy friends around is trouble and probably has issues. If you want to consider trying again with her, invite her to do something with you, just the two of you. You also need to make a physical move to tell her you are not interested in being just another orbiter. Do not hang out with her and her friends again. That goes for future girls as well.
EasyHeart Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 To me, the key fact is that she invited you and (presumably) these other guys to hang out with her as the only woman. I agree with that this wreaks of insecurity and attention-seeking. Don't play that game. The problem with people like that is that no amount of attention will ever satisfy them, and I bet you that even if you start dating, she will keep a harem of guy 'friends' on stand-by. Ask her on a real date and give her a chance. If she declines, move on. If she says you should "hang out" again, decline and tell her you have better things to do. And if she goes out on a date with you and flirts with the waiter, run for the hills and let her pick up the bill.
dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Yeah she definitely has self esteem issues. I don't mind competing with other guys but that doesn't mean I am about to join in on some hit on her party. Only been in this situation once and at the time me and the girl were practically dating 4-5 times a week. Complex situation but it ended up with me refusing to be friends with her. She tried to refriend me since then and i refused it... once again...
Author U1987 Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 So anyway, I texted her today asking for a date. I suggested checking out a pretty hip indy art gallery in the city that I haven't been to in ages. Just minutes later I just happen to run into her on campus. She told me she got really drunk and couldn't remember much of last night and asked me to remind her what happened. As a joke I told her that she gave me a really bad purple-nurple that caused me to spill my drink, so she owed me a Jack Daniels. She was wearing one of those fedoras that have really short rims. I call them "jazz hats" and I made fun of a guy who was wearing one behind his back to her when we first met a week ago. She told me that she thought about texting me in class to tell me she was wearing a jazz hat. Is that a sign of interest on her part? When I asked her why she didn't, she just said "Meh. Too lazy." So I asked for clarification about checking out the art gallery. She said "Yeah sure. Let me check my schedule first though and we'll work something out," and we parted from there. She said "Yeah sure." Not "Yes" or "Definitely," but "Yeah sure." It seemed really vague when she talked about checking out her schedule and she didn't seem overly enthusiastic about me asking her out. I really don't want to push it and come off as desperate as in calling her and trying to find out when she's available and conforming my schedule to her. What should I do here?
D-Lish Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 What should I do here? Just be cool. Don't over-analyse everything she says and does. The last thing you want to do is show any signs of being overly eager. She said okay, she's checking her schedule, so the ball is in her court. Wait and see if she gets back to you with her availability- but don't chase her for it. If she doesn't get back to you, then she's giving you a clear signal that she's not thinking about you romantically.
Author U1987 Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 Just be cool. Don't over-analyse everything she says and does. The last thing you want to do is show any signs of being overly eager. She said okay, she's checking her schedule, so the ball is in her court. Wait and see if she gets back to you with her availability- but don't chase her for it. If she doesn't get back to you, then she's giving you a clear signal that she's not thinking about you romantically. I really hate that I'm making a big deal over this girl I just met, but I can't help it. I really wish I had more options at the moment. Maybe I wouldn't be vesting so much thought into her if there was another girl or two I could work on, but she's all I got.
threebyfate Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Just be cool. Don't over-analyse everything she says and does. The last thing you want to do is show any signs of being overly eager. She said okay, she's checking her schedule, so the ball is in her court. Wait and see if she gets back to you with her availability- but don't chase her for it. If she doesn't get back to you, then she's giving you a clear signal that she's not thinking about you romantically.Bang on again, D. Let it play out. If she doesn't respond, her loss. This girl loves to play set up.
mohdhm Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 As I said before- offer her something different. Don't try, don't pay attention to her. On a side note- If she invited out a whole group of people and the only other females present were lesbians- it stands to reason she has some issues with insecurity. Like- no other females??? Just lesbian friends and a group of guys with their tongues hanging out? It almost feels like she orchestrated an episode of "the bachelorette":lmao: ahh you are offering the golden advice that is going unnoticed over here.
Sanman Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 D is right. The ball is in her court. If she is interested she will find you. Your job is to not contact her until then.
Sphere Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 This girl sounds like a self obsessed, self centered attention seeking idiot. I have read nothing about her in this thread that makes me think "wow, I wish I was with a woman like that". I have met so many men who date "nice looking women", women would be considered attractive by a majority of men in a group, only to come to realize that these women have bad attitudes and terribly poor personalities, what is even more laughable is many of these women are more insecure than those women who find it difficult to attract men. If I'm honest, I'd sooner date the actress Ugly Betty than a woman like Cheryl Cole. The actress who plays Ugly Betty is beautiful in real life and has a wicked personality from her interviews, where as Cheryl Cole is all image and no substance.
sagetalk Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? Simple answer. If she doesn't have a boyfriend, flirt with her and ask her out. If she says no, but maybe later, back away and forget it unless she contacts you for dating (not friends talk).
Author U1987 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 So this girl invited me out again tonight. I have to be up early for a class, and I didn't want to be in the same situation as last week. She didn't mention anything in her text about my request asking her out for one of these nights. I asked her again if she was free tomorrow to go out. She said she's "working til late. sry." I replied "How late is late?" and she said she has work until 7 and a school club meeting. I believe her. She responded quickly and in detail, so maybe she really is busy. It bothers me though that she didn't text back for days. Would it appear desperate or creepy to ask her out a second time? If I should, should I call or text her or wait until I see her in person on campus?
phineas Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 So this girl invited me out again tonight. I have to be up early for a class, and I didn't want to be in the same situation as last week. She didn't mention anything in her text about my request asking her out for one of these nights. I asked her again if she was free tomorrow to go out. She said she's "working til late. sry." I replied "How late is late?" and she said she has work until 7 and a school club meeting. I believe her. She responded quickly and in detail, so maybe she really is busy. It bothers me though that she didn't text back for days. Would it appear desperate or creepy to ask her out a second time? If I should, should I call or text her or wait until I see her in person on campus? Stop asking her out. She knows by now you are interested Just meet her out. If she's got the cock-block patrol with her find another woman & chat her up. If she doesn't come find you then she isn't interested. She just wants another guy to stroke her ego.
O'Malley Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 So this girl invited me out again tonight. If it's to another one of her attention junkie parties and not one on one, cut your losses. It seems that she's simply looking for another admirer to add to her coterie. No calls, no invites, no flirtations from your side -- if you run into her, act friendly, but disinterested and nonchalant. Asking for another date when she was deliberately vague and later 'busy' gets you nowhere with her.
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