U1987 Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? Link to post Share on other sites
jamesum Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Im never that desperate and have so little dignity to fight over a girl. But then again, some people are competitive and like to compete just for the sake of competing. Once he gets her, he will throw her out. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? Well, it stands to reason that if she's got "the total package" thing happening that she's going to have male attention and lots of choice. Engage her in a different way than every other average joe is engaging her. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Depends. Is she returning the attention to all her suitors? If her attention isn't on me, I'll pass... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Well, it stands to reason that if she's got "the total package" thing happening that she's going to have male attention and lots of choices. Agreed. Sure, there are other fish in the sea... but why not dangle some bait and see if she bites? Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? I usually don't. I feel like the more suitors that are present, the more nit-picky she probably is, so I usually pass on those. It is the exact reason why I don't date online. Link to post Share on other sites
Author U1987 Posted September 2, 2010 Author Share Posted September 2, 2010 Here's my situation. A week ago, I met the type of girl I want right now. She's not the hottest girl in the room, but she's cute, really sweet, really funny and outgoing. She's definitely the "alt" type of personality I'm looking for; just came back from back-packing through Asia, studies liberal arts (I'm a math and science guy) dresses like a hipster/punk, appreciates art and music. I really want this girl bad. I met this girl hanging out with a friend-of-a-friend last week. She personally invited me to hang out with her and her friends tonight. When she said "her friends," I just assumed they'd all be girls. No. Except for her 1 girlfriend (who's cute, but a lesbian but engaged to someone else) all of the 5 people she invited, not including me, were guys. I tried to engage her, joke around, ask her about herself and her experiences, but so were the 4 other guys. It was hard to get and keep her attention, and I could tell some of the these wanted this girl as well (by the dirty looks they'd give other guys when she shifted her attention over to them) It was really frustrating. Sure, I did get to know this girl a tiny bit, but it wasn't by a lot, and I did get to show my humorous side (when she said that she was getting tipsy, I imitated the drunk facial expressions she was making) and we didn't have a chance to really, truly connect. I don't know what to do. I know it's too early to feel anything meaningful for this girl, but I really want a chance with this one in particular. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 It's totally up to you man. In that situation, I can't tell if she invited them for an ego feed, or to really just hang out. I personally don't like competing with a ton of guys over a girl, there's many more out there. Those kind of situations aren't my cup of tea, but if you want to go for it, then by all means give it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Well, she invited you out... so she's interested in getting to know you on some level. I suggest inviting her out to do something just the two of you, sans sidekicks. Link to post Share on other sites
NamNam Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? If the girl is wonderful and worth pursuing despite other people vying for her attention, you should make an effort. My advice is to ignore the other guys and just concentrate on yourself. So take care on how you conduct yourself and your appearance so you can present yourself in a better light. So dress nicely, speak with manners, be courteous and be a gentleman. Don't be an ass, a slob, or a pig (besides you should be doing this all the time irrespective if you're chasing a girl or not ). BUT under no circumstances should you ever pretend or be something you're not. If the girl does not accept you for who you are then I say let the other guys take her. Another lady would be probably more appreciative of you. Link to post Share on other sites
NamNam Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Here's my situation. A week ago, I met the type of girl I want right now. She's not the hottest girl in the room, but she's cute, really sweet, really funny and outgoing. She's definitely the "alt" type of personality I'm looking for; just came back from back-packing through Asia, studies liberal arts (I'm a math and science guy) dresses like a hipster/punk, appreciates art and music. I really want this girl bad. I met this girl hanging out with a friend-of-a-friend last week. She personally invited me to hang out with her and her friends tonight. When she said "her friends," I just assumed they'd all be girls. No. Except for her 1 girlfriend (who's cute, but a lesbian but engaged to someone else) all of the 5 people she invited, not including me, were guys. I tried to engage her, joke around, ask her about herself and her experiences, but so were the 4 other guys. It was hard to get and keep her attention, and I could tell some of the these wanted this girl as well (by the dirty looks they'd give other guys when she shifted her attention over to them) It was really frustrating. Sure, I did get to know this girl a tiny bit, but it wasn't by a lot, and I did get to show my humorous side (when she said that she was getting tipsy, I imitated the drunk facial expressions she was making) and we didn't have a chance to really, truly connect. I don't know what to do. I know it's too early to feel anything meaningful for this girl, but I really want a chance with this one in particular. What should I do? But just be patient buddy. Befriend her, think of an occassion where it can be it just you two guys to hang out rather than all the other stooges too lol. Coffee and lunch is always a good idea. Or a fun activity. In time you know whether or not she'll like you so just play it smart. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you like the girl it is time for you to man up. Ask her out and if she says yes, show her the time of her life. Repeat this a few more times, kiss her like she's the hottest girl in the world, and if you have sex an orgasm or three (for her) never hurts. Then simply be an adult and let her know that you are interested in her more than casually, but not as being part of her harem of guys or playing games. If she plays games walk away. If knocked her off of her feet well enough, she will be your either way. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 As I said before- offer her something different. Don't try, don't pay attention to her. On a side note- If she invited out a whole group of people and the only other females present were lesbians- it stands to reason she has some issues with insecurity. Like- no other females??? Just lesbian friends and a group of guys with their tongues hanging out? It almost feels like she orchestrated an episode of "the bachelorette":lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Lemontang Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 At the end of the day the most important person in that room is yourself. Not to sound like an arse hat, but self confidence within often radiates and people notice. I wouldn't just chat to this one person, but rather those around her as well. Engage the other guys into the conversations if there chatting too. She'll then see your not harping on her every word and see you as self secure and the tables may turn. If not it's no loss you've gotten to know some great people in a social setting. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 As I said before- offer her something different. Don't try, don't pay attention to her. On a side note- If she invited out a whole group of people and the only other females present were lesbians- it stands to reason she has some issues with insecurity. Like- no other females??? Just lesbian friends and a group of guys with their tongues hanging out? It almost feels like she orchestrated an episode of "the bachelorette":lmao:No kidding! Ummm...set up, anyone? No more games. Just ask her out...by herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Raderick Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 (edited) Im never that desperate and have so little dignity to fight over a girl. But then again, some people are competitive and like to compete just for the sake of competing. Once he gets her, he will throw her out. I'm exactly the same way. If I know there is someone else or others going after the girl, I let the seagulls go after the one fish and I'll wait for the next one to pop up out of the water. Sure I've let go of some potentially good women but I don't compete, even with one that could be a keeper. Edited September 2, 2010 by Raderick Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 No kidding! Ummm...set up, anyone? No more games. Just ask her out...by herself. Some guys will never "get it";) Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 First of all, you must assume that all desirable women you meet have other men hanging around. Just because you can't -see- the other guys doesn't mean they aren't there. Not only are they there, beyond the age of 18 (maybe even before) she is sleeping with one or more of them when you meet her. Find three like her and start working on all of them at the same time. After all, you really don't know any of them. Make the most options for yourself. As one fades, put another in the mix. If she is more attracted to you than others, you will move up the list, if not you will stay in the same place or move down. There are reams and reams of stuff on building attraction all over the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Just because there are other guys hanging around her, that doesn't mean she wants any of them. I'd hate to think a guy I really liked would avoid approaching me simply because of all the other losers who are hitting on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Raderick Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Just because there are other guys hanging around her, that doesn't mean she wants any of them. I'd hate to think a guy I really liked would avoid approaching me simply because of all the other losers who are hitting on me. Tell the losers "no thanks" and then approach the guy you like. Simple if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 At the end of the day the most important person in that room is yourself. Not to sound like an arse hat, but self confidence within often radiates and people notice. I wouldn't just chat to this one person, but rather those around her as well. Engage the other guys into the conversations if there chatting too. She'll then see your not harping on her every word and see you as self secure and the tables may turn. If not it's no loss you've gotten to know some great people in a social setting. OP - I reckon the above is good advice. Like you I've encountered these situations and invariably its a pissing match with half the guys trying to out alpha the others and the other half sucking up to the girl. Its not easy and you need to try as much as possible to get some one on one time with her and set yourself apart from these guys. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
K'aycie Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? Unless, you're the type of guy who just likes the ego stroke of having women oogle over you, if you genuinely like her, then there is no reason why you shouldn't approach her and ask her out. It boils down to what you are looking for. Do you want someone who is overly flirtatious with every Tom Dick and Harry, or someone who likes/wants someone with similiar qualities to your own and doesn't flirt/go out with someone, just because they are being showered with attention. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If you meet a girl you like (she's cute, unique, has a lot of the same interests, has the type of personality you like) but she has a lot of guys surrounding her constantly who are vying for her attention, is it ever worth jumping into the fray to try to make her choose you? Or should you try to go for the other fish in the sea? yes it is. Just don't invest fully. Suss it out, if attraction is low, bail, saves your dignity/ego. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 As was said, work the room. Be seen being sociable. Just because she invited you does not mean you are obligated to hang on her every word when she's got 3 other guys doing the same thing. If she is interested in you she will detatch herself from the cock-block patrol & seek you out to chat. Just don't be surprised though when they swoop in a few minutes later & cause mass confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I never fight over women. Link to post Share on other sites
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