What is the reason for my confusion ?

[Lost_in_this_world]

I met a guy and we were hanging out for around 4 months.There was nothing physical,no hand-holding,kissing etc but we both had clearly discussed on the first date we were both looking for a long term relationship.

 

I thought we were very compatible in many respects and I had found the one.He on the other hand would enjoy my company and would talk to me for hours about all his problems and I would listen patiently and provide him a lot of advice.We were almost talking everyday and were meeting one day every weekend.

 

Then I asked him where this was going and his answer took me totally by surprise.He said " I am not really ready for a relationship as I thought I was but I am not over my ex of 4 years".There was no mention of his ex at all in those 4 months we were seeing each other.

 

We had a nasty spat after that with me calling him names and all that and we did not speak for over 2 months.Then he comes back and wants to be my friend and keeps insisting on it.

 

When I ask him if he sees us together in the future - he says NO and then again he is back begging to be my friend telling me he admires me,finds me mature,insightful and intelligent.

 

My friends tell me to cut him off entirely for my sanity but deep down in my gut I feel that it is just a matter of time before he falls in love with me.

 

I know many of you might think this is wishful thinking but I think it is a gut feeling.My gut has proved me right with this guy so many times.

 

I have tried to be his friend but it is extremely frustrating to be his friend.For one the anger from the past comes up and his behavior is sorta erratic.One weekend he wants to meet me bad and then he won't call me for few days.

 

On the other hand,I tell him I don't want to be friends with him and after cutting him off go back to wondering.."Maybe I should give him a chance ?"

 

How do I resolve these feelings of conflict ?

[cottoncandy1]

Do you think he was waiting in the wings of the ex girlfriend the whole time? Where was he that other day on the weekends? Perhaps the days he didn't call u for a few days he was with her and thinking it would work, then when it didn't he got nervous and ran back to you.

 

I think he wants to have both you and the ex, but is not sure which.

 

All I can say is that this guy sounds like a clown and you definitely should NOT waste another minute thinking about him. Ask yourself, do you really want a guy like this to be married to, FOREVER? Can you TRUST him?? If not, the answer is get rid of him - the quicker the better. Do I want someone who isn't crazy about me?

 

He didn't even get physical with you - that doesn't sound like he's in love with you nor starting to. Maybe he could in the future, but do you trust him? Does he deserve to be in your life?

 

There are billions of people on this planet. This is just one guy and he's in your geographical area and you happened to meet up with him. Is he "THe One?" Think about it - the one - your soulmate - the one special person on the ENTIRE planet??? You will find someone who will be crazy about you. There'll be no guessing games. Don't be confused, move on, this guy is not worth your time!

[atlnay]

This is easy, you want an intimate, not platonic, relationship with the man and he doesn't want the same thing. That is why you are, and will continue, to be frustrated. Why do you even want to be his friend?