Lost Fish Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 (edited) OK, I'll keep this short. I met a girl on a dating website (yuck I know). We messaged for about a week and really hit it off online - I'd say we were both really interested and motivated by each other. Then on Wednesday the 18th she texted me about meeting up at a nearby Japanese place that had karaoke - this was at 8:30 at night after I had just given her my number that day. I was a bit tired / nervous but didn't want to miss my shot at meeting her so I quickly showered/shaved/dressed up and got my butt down there. It was a little nervewracking, but I put my best foot forward. Made good conversation, talked to her friends. She was extremely shy but she seemed interested. Afterward I drove her to her car and we talked a little and then I asked her to dinner and she said "definitely." I leaned in for the hug and then we were kissing, so that was good. Sparks flyin' woo. I texted her that night thanking her for everything and she thanked me and said let's definitely do dinner. Cut to friday - I call her - no answer. I leave a voice mail asking about getting together for dinner either the next Monday or Tuesday. She texts me back at like 10 that night saying she is sick and her voice is gone but dinner sounds great. I play it cool and say ok great, take care of yourself. Sunday night I man up and call her again. Voicemail. I leave a message about setting up the date. She calls me this time and we talk for about 15 minutes - and then set up the date for that Thursday (last thurs the 26th). Then she texted me a bit that Monday night when she was a bit buzzed, we flirted a bit.. nice. Then nothing after that for a couple days - no biggie. I call her Wednesday night to reconfirm... and leave another voicemail. Thursday morning she texts me at work to say she is sick again after going on this 2-day casino party with her girlfriends and she is really sick. I text back "no problemo. i was pumped to see you but I don't want to drag you out lol." She says "aw I was really excited to see you too, but i feel so congested and worn out and need to get better" I tell her to "Rest well. You are definitely cute, and I'm pretty amazing... sooooo, let's get together soon." She says "Yeah for sure! You do seem pretty amazing :)" Then I figured the onus is on her to set up the next date, right? That was last thursday and I have heard Jack and Squat from her since. Nothing. My friends are 50/50 - that I should contact her yet again to set up the next date. I lean towards considering this a bust - she's not into me enough to even reach out... why endure more flimsy communication? My other friends say to give her the benefit of the doubt and be a man and set up the next date. I dunno. I'm meh over it now. I feel like her interest level dropped a lot after we first met and reality set in as opposed to simple messages. I think there was chemistry, but maybe I was completely off and she doesn't have the heart to tell me... So - I just wanted to see what you Loveshackers say. Should I call/text her again? Or stick a fork in her? Edited August 31, 2010 by Lost Fish details details
Star Gazer Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 You're one of many options. I'm not saying she's fibbing about being sick, but you should be realistic and assume that she is and is using it as an excuse to juggle her options. 'Tis the case with online dating. Since she's the one who cancelled, the onus is on her to initiate the next date. BUT I don't think you're prevented from reaching out to her in some way, just don't bring up the date.
Author Lost Fish Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Ahh, ok fair enough. She is a looker so I'm sure she gets a lot of dudes trying to contact her. Seems kind of ick to me... hrmm...
Star Gazer Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Ahh, ok fair enough. She is a looker so I'm sure she gets a lot of dudes trying to contact her. Seems kind of ick to me... hrmm... Why??
USMCHokie Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 First of all, kudos to you for CALLING and leaving a voicemail instead of playing the silly texty text games... The fact that she promptly returns your calls is a good thing and something that women who are interested generally will always do. That being said, I would generally say that yes, it is on her to contact you about the next date after she "gets better." BUT...you screwed up here: I tell her to "Rest well. You are definitely cute, and I'm pretty amazing... sooooo, let's get together soon." She says "Yeah for sure! You do seem pretty amazing :)" You didn't place the ball in her court to contact you. Actually, you didn't place the ball in anyone's court...the ball is floating around in oblivion. You should have told her to let you know when she feels better and wants to get together, or something along those lines. That way she knows that you're expecting her to contact you. Don't assume women (or men, for the ladies) will know that it's their turn to initiate contact unless you explicit tell them to. I normally would so LAUNCH at this point, but I'd give it one more go to set up a date, only because you stumbled a bit along the way...
Author Lost Fish Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 I won't lie - it's been YEARS since I've been in the dating scene. So I definitely feel like I'm tripping myself up all over the place here. So yes! I appreciate all the advice and opinions.
Star Gazer Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 First of all, kudos to you for CALLING and leaving a voicemail instead of playing the silly texty text games... The fact that she promptly returns your calls is a good thing and something that women who are interested generally will always do. :lmao: You didn't place the ball in her court to contact you. Actually, you didn't place the ball in anyone's court...the ball is floating around in oblivion. You should have told her to let you know when she feels better and wants to get together, or something along those lines. That way she knows that you're expecting her to contact you. Don't assume women (or men, for the ladies) will know that it's their turn to initiate contact unless you explicit tell them to. I normally would so LAUNCH at this point, but I'd give it one more go to set up a date, only because you stumbled a bit along the way... While I think because she cancelled she should be the one rescheduling, Hokie does have a point here...
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