bungeejumper Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Okay I have an issue on my hands ladies and gentlemen. My ex of 8 months contacted me two days for the first time in three months since we broke up. I've now met a new girl, nothing is official with her yet but she has plenty of upside. I'll break down the situation with both girls. I need advice on which one to pursuit!! Girl #1 my ex who we will call "S". Okay S and I broke up three months ago. I know many of you will be like why did you break up so I'll make it as short as possible. I have a son with another Girl who I was with for six years. We got in a an argument one day regarding something with our son. I vented to "S" about it and she totally flipped out and basically said she couldn't handle my son's mother, etc, etc. Me venting my problem backfired and I stood up for myself we got in a huge fight and mutually called it off. I never reached out to her again and moved on. Two days ago "S" sent me a text out the blue. Basically asking me how is life, how is my son, am I seeing anybody, etc. Well this turns into 3 hours of back and forth of texting. We both admitt we still love each other, we miss each other, and feel we broke it off when we were in the middle of a heated argument and both admit we had our reasons for our opinions but were wrong. She said she was wrong for reacting how she did and I was wrong for my short fuse instead of working it out. So she says she misses me, has been on some dates but found nobody that she connected with like me, etc. She wants to meet up again, as a matter of fact she says she wants to see if "maybe we can work it out and get back together". Her pros: Finishing grad school has a great career path ahead of her, comes from a good financial family, is very pretty abotut a 8.5 ill give her, smart, we connect as friends like no other (we can talk for hours and hours and hours)- our bond is very strong, she totally accepts me for me 100% the good and the bad of me, we both said how the sex is amazing and how much we miss it, we seemed like "soulmates" if you know what I'm saying, shes a loyal good girl that is a homebody more focused on school than going out partying etc. Her cons: Jealousy issues stemming from her past being cheated on, can be bitchy at times, the "fight" about my sons mother, her family is of another race and her parents want her marrying within her own race (in 8 months of dating I never met them) she says she doesn't care about it and they will have to deal with it and would eventually get over it, she is younger than me and slightly immature at times, slightly spoiled from her upbringing by her parents. Girl #2: We will call her "D". I just met D about a little over a month ago. We've only went on three dates so far and we have connected really well. She was shy on the first date but has really warmed up to me over the last two dates. We have a great time together but there are no titles as we are taking the slow road. She could be a promising prospect for sure. Definitely G/F long term material all the way. She is a really good girl. I'm a good looking guy and usually get girls in the bed by date #3 98% of the time but she held out on me which tells me a lot about her! She told me she "REALLY" likes me a lot and sometimes I catch her talking about the future with us. EX: in the wintertime I can't wait for us to snuggle under blanket and watch movies etc. Her Pros: Is beautiful guys Ill give her a 10 no joke, guys gawk at her when we are together, already settled in her career and is established with a great job, mature, level headed, a total sweet heart (the type of girl you could never break her heart), she is one of the kindest girls I ever met, she is very smart, she is very cultured having lived and traveled abroad, she y is everything a guy looks for and wants in a woman because she is a true lady, when together we connect very good, everytime we hang out the bond gets stronger( more kissing, flirting, hours of convo) Her Cons: Comes from a VERY rich upbringing says money doesn't mean anything to her but I can see traits in her that she is used to that kind of living and I'm not poor but far from rich, she is funny in her own way but has a dry sense of humor compared to "S" (sorry don't mean to compare them lol but its true), she is a young single professional and she goes out a lot with friends & co-workers (note I don't go out to often like that b/c of work and my son), has a lot of "guy" friends (I'm not the jealous type but I usually know what that means lol but it may not mean that in her case), sometimes seems slightly aloof example: she will text message me and i will message her back and then she wont respond to my text for like a hour or two, there is nothing established yet with us, we hardly talk on the phone (when we do talk on the phone its for hours lol) and we text briefly so there isn't much contact when we aren't together, dont know her that well yet since we've been talking for a month but we have 2 dates planned this week and a possible one night getaway which should give me an idea on how the "sex" is. Okay so do I take back "S" aka Girl #1 who is my ex and try to work it out with her since I do miss her and love her still? Or do I forget her and leave her in the past and continue to try to build with "D" aka Girl #2 and see what the future brings with us? Or do I run a course with both at the same time and see who wins my heart? It may be tough to do that because "S" goes to school in the same city that "D" lives in. It's a pretty big city and the odds of us crossing paths are slim but you never know. If i get caught with one and the other sees me it could blow both up in my face and I lose both of them. Any advice is much appreciated!
Raderick Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I'd see if it is possible to rekindle the relationship with the ex-girlfriend. If it works out, awesome. If not, go after D.
Author bungeejumper Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Thanks for the advice man. Maybe I will try that.
benmac360 Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I'm not sure I would want to rekindle things with Girl #1. Two major red flags - she's has jealousy issues and you never met her family. Your son is #1 in your life and an amicable relationship with his mother is part of the deal - she has to accept that. Let's say you settle that with her - then you have to possibly face backlash from her parents if you two were to get engaged. From what you posted there's it seems like this girl is not worth all the trouble - that may be why you never contacted her after that argument. I would take things slow with Girl #2 - she seems like she is not as volatile as Girl #1, and she has her own life, which could lead to a more fulfilling relationship for both of you. Good luck man!
Author bungeejumper Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Thanks benmac..u made some great points! I have a lot to think about I guess!
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Girl #2 because Girl #1 seems too dramatic and the history the two of you together should be left in the past. There's no point in rekindling something you decided to let go of when the prospect of starting something new and meaningful is present.
Author bungeejumper Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Interesting...it seems a lot u think I should take girl #2 and forget my ex.. I think all of you are right. I guess its a comfort zone I need to break out of knowing girl #1 is a definite and girl #2 is still a work in progress.
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