Scarlett513 Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I've been dating my bf on and off for a little under a year. Obviously we've had our share of problems but I'm crazy about him and I want things to work out more than anything. I knew when I met him that he was applying for jobs that might require relocation, possibly across the country. Now things are going smoothly only he has applied to 2 jobs that. if he gets one of them, would very likely require him to move. He is so excited at the prospect of relocating, and it just breaks my heart that he can be so excited about something that would probably be the end of our relationship. He says he doesn't think his moving would mean a break up, and that he thinks we could do long distance or I could eventually move with him but I don't see how it would work. I don't know if he really thinks it could work or if he just doesn't really care what happens to us. I'm crushed and I live in fear of the day he calls to tell me the "wonderful" news that he got the job. I've tried talking to him but I feel like I can't tell him how I honestly feel. It's gotten to a point where I'm sending him "mistake" text messages about our relationship and pretending I meant to send it to a friend. He's not an idiot and really can't be buying that. And I know how immature and crazy it is, but I am so afraid to talk to him about it directly. I think he will think I'm dragging him down and holding him back and start to resent me. I don't like acting like a psycho but I am just lost and don't know what to do.
northstar1 Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 If you have been dating for a year then you should be on the same page in terms of the future together if such plans come true. You need to have a talk with him, that if he does get offered the job, what does that mean to your relationship. Would you consider moving to be with him? Are you able to relocate? You need to figure this one out and determine if your relationship will be able to survive a LDR. Both need to be willing to handle it, and also be confident that there will be an end date to it.
Fairy77 Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I think, that if hes saying that you moving with him one day is an option then hes obviously been thinking about the future of the relationship, thats quite a big step, its almost like moving in together and a huge advancement from just dating on and off and hes not seeing it as the end of your relationship at all. Guys are so difficult to understand sometimes, I have been dating someone whom im crazy about on and off for a few months, but Im moving away for work in December, and not sure how long for, I realise he could meet someone else while Im away and it terrifies but Im holding on to the hope that I have had some impact on his life and even if he does meet someone else that I will be the one in his thoughts and it will work out right in the end. I will be staying in touch with him the whole time I am away and I do believe that being away from someone you love can make the whole relationship stronger and realising exactly how much you want and miss that person and sharing your life with them. I hope it all works out for you both and much happiness..
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