sweetjasmine Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I don't see it as a big deal, since it's no different from wearing nice clothes and makeup to attract a mate. I think it is different. Wearing nice clothes doesn't have an effect on your health either way. If you're obsessed with couture cocktail dresses, your health isn't going to improve or get worse. But a whole lot of women actively harm their health in order to look thin. Going on a starvation diet and/or adopting bulemic behaviors like over-exercising are directly and immediately harmful and are nothing at all like deciding to wear a little foundation, eyeshadow and mascara and put on a V-cut cocktail dress. Seriously appearance is very important to men. If you asked those married men if they would be happier if their partner lost 20lbs, the vast majority would say yes. So you've asked them and gotten a response? If I lost 20 pounds, my weight would still be in the "normal BMI" range, towards the lower end. When I was 10 pounds lighter than I am right now, my SO was seriously concerned for my health because I looked sick and bony. He could count my ribs, and it freaked him out. He didn't find it attractive at all, and any time he saw my chest, he got this look on his face like, "Are you sure you're okay?". So please speak for yourself. Not every male enjoys skeletons, and saying the "vast majority" of taken men would be happier if their partners were skinnier is just an unsupported claim based on your own perceptions..
jamesum Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Then why do I sometimes put on makeup, and lather on smelly lotion, and condition my hair, and allathat, alone at home when I know I'm not leaving my apartment?? To tell yourself that you are beautiful so the next day you go in public you feel beautiful. Try living alone without any human contact for 6 months. You arent going to care much how you look apart from maintaining your hygiene. I don't really care what anyone says, I maintain my appearance for myself and myself alone. But I've been desired at every shape and size, so perhaps I know that I'm worthy of love regardless if I'm carrying around a couple extra pounds or not. Try carrying around 50 extra pounds and see if you still dont care what others think of your appearance.
BentSpine Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Obviously I want to lose weight for myself, to feel more confident, look better in clothes, look great in a bikini. Getting guys attention is just an added bonus.Getting guys attention IS what makes you AWARE OF what is attractive, male attention is gives you that template to strive for. And knowing that you are attractive is the same as being confident.
kalikula Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Getting guys attention IS what makes you AWARE OF what is attractive, male attention is gives you that template to strive for. And knowing that you are attractive is the same as being confident. I know... I'm not arguing against that point.
alclarkey Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I think it is different. Wearing nice clothes doesn't have an effect on your health either way. If you're obsessed with couture cocktail dresses, your health isn't going to improve or get worse. But a whole lot of women actively harm their health in order to look thin. Going on a starvation diet and/or adopting bulemic behaviors like over-exercising are directly and immediately harmful and are nothing at all like deciding to wear a little foundation, eyeshadow and mascara and put on a V-cut cocktail dress. So you've asked them and gotten a response? If I lost 20 pounds, my weight would still be in the "normal BMI" range, towards the lower end. When I was 10 pounds lighter than I am right now, my SO was seriously concerned for my health because I looked sick and bony. He could count my ribs, and it freaked him out. He didn't find it attractive at all, and any time he saw my chest, he got this look on his face like, "Are you sure you're okay?". So please speak for yourself. Not every male enjoys skeletons, and saying the "vast majority" of taken men would be happier if their partners were skinnier is just an unsupported claim based on your own perceptions.. You one story out of millions. Quite a few women let themselves go a couple years into a marriage. Do you deny that? That is what he was referring to. Notice also that he didn't say that skeletal women were all the rage these days, he said they would be happy if their wives lost 20 lbs. You might be right if he was talking about going from like 110 to 90, but quite a large number married women are substantially heavier than 110. Going from something like 140 to 120 would be great.
pandagirl Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I think it's more complicated that just losing weight to "attract men." I really believe most women want to lose weight and be thin because it's what we've been fed. All of media tells us to be thin. Girls who are a size 6 get called fat. It's so wrong. There's a lot of pressure, on young girls especially, to achieve this "ideal." Also, let's be practical, everyone. If you are 50 lbs overweight, yes, losing some of that will probably make you more attractive to certain men, but also a big part of that is about having more *confidence.* Actually, the girls I find complaining and worrying most about their weight DON'T HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT. They want to go from 120 lbs to 110 lbs, fit into a size 2, they want to be thinner than their friends...as if that is going to suddenly make then feel better about themselves. It rarely has anything to do with attracting men.
pandagirl Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 You one story out of millions. Quite a few women let themselves go a couple years into a marriage. Do you deny that? That is what he was referring to. Notice also that he didn't say that skeletal women were all the rage these days, he said they would be happy if their wives lost 20 lbs. You might be right if he was talking about going from like 110 to 90, but quite a large number married women are substantially heavier than 110. Going from something like 140 to 120 would be great. At least women only get fat. Men get fat AND bald.
meerkat stew Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Every woman I've dated who had a great body and looked incredible naked or in a bathing suit, every single one without exception, had tremendous body insecurities that made dealing with them hellish. Have had to listen to "I'm fat and can't wear my high school clothes" every hour on the hour in more relationships that I can count. If there is one imperfection or weird part of her body, a little extra hair on her forearms or inverted nipples, I have to listen to self deprecating comments over and over, no matter how much support and reenforcement I offer, no matter how obviously turned on I get in the bedroom, it's like shouting into a black hole, they just don't seem to hear it. OTOH, every woman I've dated who had a not so great body, didn't look good naked, couldn't wear stylish swimsuits had no issues about her body whatsoever. They will sit and drink a bottle of wine three nights a week, eat whatever the hell they want, don't exercise, and generally degenerate in shape as the relationship progresses. Finally it gets to the point where I have trouble performing sexually because their bodies are just not attractive. I've no idea what to do about this, as can not seem to find a happy medium. Either they are body obsessed or don't give a ****. What has brought this curse on me O Lord? How hast thy humble servant displeased thee so mightily?
jamesum Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Girls who are a size 6 get called fat Most of the times, women think they are fat despite no one telling them so.
meerkat stew Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 At least women only get fat. Men get fat AND bald. Women make our hair turn gray or fall out, sometimes both. I age twice as fast in relationships than when I'm single.
Author jennifer4 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 You one story out of millions. Quite a few women let themselves go a couple years into a marriage. Do you deny that? That is what he was referring to. Notice also that he didn't say that skeletal women were all the rage these days, he said they would be happy if their wives lost 20 lbs. You might be right if he was talking about going from like 110 to 90, but quite a large number married women are substantially heavier than 110. Going from something like 140 to 120 would be great. This!! WTF? I hate when people worry about the number on the scale.. Look at the body fat % and how you look and or feel. I weigh 38-140 and feel and look better than I did when I was 120. You can't throw a blanket statement out there, that is why so many women obsess over the scale..
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